Archive for the ‘Slut Shaming & Whorephobia’ Category

hell yeah!

and yes its me, and yes any art in it i drew and yes the six armed Kali naga drawing is my back tattoo and yes, i  did make her look scrawny like me!!!!  And yes, I look vastly different with red, black and blonde hair… blonde bad, red or black okay, even black and pink and white dreads!  And do not ask about my Agent Smith obsession, just…don’t!

ha.  hahahahaahha.

I shall now take down the stupidest defense for rape….ever.

“The She’s A Slut Defense”

I need no unholy powers or devastating legal skills for this one.

Ahem. As a general rule, it is assumed that if one is a slut, they like sex  Possibly with lots of people.  However, lots of people may not include Mr.X.  So, if Mr.X has sex with Slut Y when she did NOTwant it with him- thats rape.  However, Mr.X and his lawyers will then drag Slut Y’s sexual history into it- the media too….but, in a world that was rational or sane, Slut Y’s sexual history would work in her favor….

What?  Quit giving me that look.  I’m RIGHT here…wanna know why?

Because if Slut Y is, you know, a slut, and all these numerous seedy and shocking trysts of hers can be shown in a court of law- its should be an huge indicator of something:  Slut Y is often, as they say (cough) on “the Jersey Shore”, “DTF”.  It means she has, of her own will and everything, had lots of sex.  Which MEANS, if she is accusing Mr. X of raping her…he probably did.  She’s prolly being dang serious, because it was NOT just another notch on the belt one night stand blah blah blah.  Slut Y, who is generally good with and has fun with the whole sex thing- and has a rep for it- is saying NO, It Wasn’t Like That, I was Not DTF (even if I usually am), there is something wrong here…because, yeah, I might say yes a lot- hell, my rep and all these other people say so- but to Mr. X?  I said NO.  I’ve said yes to Jim, and Mike, and George, and Artie, I’ve said yes to Jose, and Fred and Carl and Hank.  I’ve said yes to Dave and Stan and Mitch….but to Mr. X, I said no. 

An uncommon occurance. 

Slut Y’s m.o. and history of yes should work in her favor, because when Slut Y says no…well hell, there has got to be a reason, her no is (via witness statements!) not a common thing…so when she does say no???

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, consider that.

The Prosecution Rests….

 

Right, so generally I tend to ignore celebrity news and gossip. Y’all have seen no posts out of me regarding Tiger Woods, or Brad and Angelina, or pretty much too many other famous people.  Why is that?  Well, frankly because I do not give a shit.  Famous people are people, with all the same bullshit and strife regular people deal with- they just generally have publicists, more money, and people watching and scrutinizing every move they make.  Double edged sword that right there.

However, once in awhile some celebrity drama catches my eye and yep, much like when I see a car crash, I have to look.  So, I’ve engaged in some Celebrity Rubber Necking with this recent round of OMG Drama involving America’s Sweet Heart Sandra Bullock and Mr. Jesse James. Why? Well, I rather dig both of them.  I’ve liked a lot of her movies (“Enhance your calm, John Spartan!”) , she seems like a nice gal, and believe you me, there is not an episode of “Monster Garage” that I have not seen.  However, this rant here is not about Sandra Bullock, or Jesse James, or anything that is going on with either of them, or how I feel about them, or any other such thing.  Oh no, it’s about something else entirely.

So yeah, as I type this, I am riding shotgun in a gas guzzling V-8 beast, feet on the dash board, whilst the dude behind the wheel slightly exceeds the high end limit on I-95, cruising past Daytona Beach which braces for not a hurricane, but another wave of sweaty, drunk college spring breakers, preps for the denizens of the Daytona 500, and later in the year, Bike Week.  They will be ready, willing and able to soak up those tourist dollars and smile and nod while those tourists soak up sun, sights of skin, and as much booze as they can handle…or not…after all, puke sprays easy off the concrete and the beaches have sure as hell seen worse.  There will be tons and tons of beer fueled party binges, string bikinis, leather-clad biker babes, tattooed gear heads, and screaming NASCAR fans all darkening Daytona’s doorstep  here in the next few weeks…only Daytona does not find it all that dark- they find it amazingly profitable…

And I mention this because you know- as I sit here pondering all this, I am recalling the way some folk talked about the Mistresses of Jesse James and people of his ilk in general in some of the comment threads and stories that have sprung up in the wake of this celebrity drama: You know, words and assumptions about “Those People”.  Those classless, trashy scumbags with tattoos, fake tits (on the women), home states like Alabama and Ohio, who ride bikes, own trucks, or swing on poles or whatever the hell else, who may or may not be neo-Nazis but damn, are they- all of them, men and women alike- low class low brow low lives.

And things like that, well, they make a gal like me want to wax on poetic a bit.   After all, I am in a gas guzzling monster with my feet up on the dash, in camos with my (unwashed) hair held back by a pair of goggles, smoke in hand, windows down, sun shining upon my inked skin and happy as hell that my fake boobs allow me not to wear a bra under this tank top with the tattoo parlor logo on it, because y’all, it is hot as fuckin’ hell in FL today.

And yeah, I am grinning in that horrible semi-amused semi-infuriated way of mine.  Why?  Well, because in all these threads and what not about Bullock and James, people are fuckin’ up in arms and ready to burn people alive due to James’ alleged racism and hate, but at the same time, a whole hell of a lot of them are hating on, well, “low life” gearhead/”sleazy” white folk with tattoos and whatnot. It’s all woohoo- we hate racists and racism, we hate intolerance and stereotypes- that shit is bad- but fuck if we cannot stand those crackers!

Well, on behalf of crackers everywhere- I’d like to say “Go Fuck Yourselves, with a  Flamethrower.”

I mean, I was actually keeping track of the stereotypes that have been flying around about “those people” whilst reading all this…here let me put forth a little list.

-All bikers are racists
-All gals with tattoos are sluts, and possibly racists
-“those people” are all racists
-Those people are all ignorant, un-educated, unemployed or poorly employed.
-those folk should stick to or get on back to the trailer park
– Southerners Suck
-If one surrounds themselves with “those people” they can only expect bad things will happen to them and other more classy people will look down on them.
-All the females of those people are dumb, skuzzy, “dirty”, man stealing whores.  All the males are dumb, skuzzy, ugly, alcoholic, KKK card carrying, woman abusing scum.
-If anyone collects WWII memorabilia, especially if any of it is German, they must be neo-Nazis (hell, I collect weird Soviet era shit, does that make me a Stalinist?)

(we can leave out other common assumptions that often include incest, inbreeding, missing teeth, drug habits, felony records, musical taste, cock fighting, lynching, and other assorted things)

Well now, that really is just enough to make me laugh-even bad jokes make me to do that.  I mean, sure, there is some truth behind some of those stereotypes- there is truth behind any stereotype- hell, I am writing a story where some of the characters are pretty much all of those stereotypes- but believe you me- in the real world shit doesn’t ever fit into boxes as neatly as folk would like. 

 It’s entirely possible that the clean cut seemingly normal person sitting at the desk next to you is racist as hell, has the Aryan Nations in his “charity donation” file and subscribes to Stormfront, while that biker with the Iron Cross (which is not, ahem, a “Nazi” thing-it’s a German thing) on his helmet is not a racist at all. It is entirely possible that the sweet, all natural modest gal next to you in line at the store will drop her panties for any dude with a pulse- married or not- faster than any implanted gal sporting a tramp stamp and working at a nudie bar.  Hell, it is even possible that the gun freak gear head goggle wearing tattooed asshole writing this, like many of her kind, has a college education, a house that has no wheels, and would take on half the so called intellectuals out there in blog land on in “Jeopardy” -or countless other forums- any day of the week-and might even win big.

And since I am all about this shit…you know what?  People are perfectly ALLOWED to hate on “those people”.  They are allowed to hold and harbor all the stereotypes they want.  They can continue to amuse the fuck out of me by rambling on about the ignorant racist Jesse James (and shame his wife because well, she MUST have known!) while blasting away on those dirty, trashy, dumb people “like him”.  The Irony is thick and rich and wonderful.  They can go off on how could anyone WANT to get with one of those horrible, horrible inked tramps because ewww, they are bad!  They can just keep on keepin’ on.  Hate away!

And I will smirk.

Because you know what?  I fuckin’ hate people like that right back.  It’s cyclical thing.  You give it, you get it.  I’ll own up to my prejudice and intolerance and whatnot.  Hell, I will say it loud and often.  I fuckin’ hate pretentious snot nosed two-faced IDIOTS who think they are so much better and smarter and worldly and wonderful than “those people” because of a zip code, a region, letters after their name, a style of dress, or a lack of ink.   Sure, I’ve met some that are just fine A-OK and cool as hell, but the majority?  Well yeah, I have some reason for my dislike…I actually think it could be a true learning experience for some of these oh so (mom and dad paid for my extensive education) intellectual classy people to get their faces rearranged by one of “those people”, folk they seemingly think are pretty much akin to crap stuck on the bottom of their shoes.  I mean, these fucks may not be racists themselves, but they sure as shit are classist and flinging around prejudice and hate by the bucketful.   They might- in public where people can see and read and all- be willing to look past skin color and be all sensitive when it comes to race and gender- but if you happen to have some ink on that skin, some grease under those nails, an accent from the wrong region, some clothes they may not like, or some serious blue on your collar-  all bets are off.  Hey, apparently, if you’re not shiny and smart with all the right brainy creds, you’re useless!

Personally, I am starting to seriously wonder about the educated intellectual set.  I mean for real, when reading this shit, I wonder…do any of these women know how to change a tire?  Use a firearm?  Repair a leaky pipe or start a fire?  Do they know what a head gasket even is, much less where it is located?  Have they ever killed (if they are meat eaters) cleaned, and cooked their own food?  Ever sawed up and moved a fallen tree or patched up a roof?  Hell, it reminds me of that scene in Fight Club: “We are the people who cook your food, wash your dishes,  fix your cars, haul  away your garbage- do not fuck with us.”

Smirk.  When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, any bets on who is going first?  Vegas odds say it won’t be “Those People”.

So yeah, fuck you intellectual bitches- we got guns!

This just in:  “Fun Feminist” = Stupid Slut, apparently.

I mean, am I the only one who finds it grimly amusing that this squid assumes any gal who might fall into the “fun Femme” role is, oh, promiscuous, into open relationships,okay with her man sleeping with other people, and unaware of the potential health risks of such things???  For real?  Like that is a given and requirement and whatnot…or that all so-called fun femmes are even…straight?

Hahahhaahha.  Man is this woman stupid.  And I even say this shit as a gal who has had,er, a fair amount of partners and you know, I have been lucky (and cautious-thank you) enough to remain disease free and all.

I also gotta say, when I read shit like this, my reaction is varied.  I find it amusing, really, because she’s so damn preachy and presumptive.  And stupid.  I also find the stupidity annoying and enraging. Then, usually after I have stopped snickering and read through the comments, I sorta feel sad for women like this- women who fail to see people beyond their biology, changes in that biology, “man”/”woman” status, women who are convinced MEN  (all of ’em) are the enemy, so on so forth….and I rather wonder how it is that they are, well, so different from me.  I mean, if “born biology” and “life experiences as a born woman” and all that crap were really such great bonding agents, you’d think there would be some commonality there, some thing or feeling or whatever that would be a link for all of us to see, grasp, and base shit off of…but you know, that shit just ain’t there.  These gals would all rather sing the praises of Dworkin and talk about the evil and violence of men ( and stupidity of fun femmes and transwomen) and I would, oh, rather drink beer, play video games, stockpile weapons, and er…hang out  and party with people who look like that dude up there.   There is no common anything here, folks, aside from some organs and such.  Otherwise, I am pretty sure we are from different planets.   It kind of freaks me out sometimes.  Their fear…it’s funky.  I can’t imagine living with that shit, really.

Grumble.

I don’t watch MTV.  So I cannot comment on the show.  But you know, it strikes me as amazingly wonderful when women who, oh, you know, care about women, bust on their fashion sense and bodies- fake or not.   A long, long, long time ago in that other blog I wrote about how I was just not down with women cracking on other women’s appearances, no matter what they were….guess what?  I’m still not.  I think it is fucking shitty to bust on a woman if she is overweight, or if she has acne, or if she has stretch marks, and likewise, I think it is shitty to bust on her if she is thin, or has big boobs, or big hair, or dresses in low cut shirts.   Same shit, different day.   Some folk- feminist or not- just cannot deal or cope without ripping other women down because of the way they look or dress.  Sad really…as if ripping on a size three gal in booty shorts with big boobs is gonna make anything better or make anyone truly more comfortable in their own skin.  How fucking hard is that to get, really?

And you know…I bloody well DARE someone to actually PROVE that stripping or stripper like work out routines- think what you will of them on other levels- are not Work Outs.  No one has to like them, no one has to think they are empowering, I so don’t give a fuck about that, but if one is gonna claim they are not a good cardio workout, I am gonna say they are a fucking idiot who knows nothing…and I’m gonna be right.

…and sounds of smashing headlights…

Yeah, Polanski is an ass.  The people who signed that petition I sure as hell wonder about.  But what all the fuck does Sasha Grey have to do with any of it?

And hells yes I want to comment over there, but I am not gonna “jack the thread” or whatever else.  But ffs come on.  Grey has been pretty dang straight forward about the hows and whys of her porn career, the fact that why yes, she did aggressively choose that career, so on, so forth.  There is one person exploiting Grey, and it is Grey.  And okay, so what, Grey was cast in a mainstream movie.  And?  What, because she is tainted by porn she should not be allowed in more mainstream movies?  Hummm.  I mean, is that what you’re saying ND?  Hell if I know, but it is what it sounds like. 

Of all the people to try and paint as a poor exploited young woman who just does not know any better and cannot make decisions for herself yadda “>yadda yadda yadda, Grey is not a good choice.  And further more, she has been pretty dang adamant about how much she hates it when people try to do so.  Hummm….I sense a running theme there with a lot of women in the sex industry- you know that whole don’t say who, what, and how I am for me, thanks, I can do it myself thing- but you know, I am not surprised to see it happening anyway, regardless of how much Grey (or anyone else) might hate it.  Fire whatever bullet at whatever target works, I guess. 

I have come to a conclusion.  Actually, I arrived at it a long freakin’ time ago.  A lot of people are downright threatened by and abhor the mere idea that women in the sex industry might actually have brains, the ability to make their own decisions, have some affection and or vision for what it is they are doing, and oh shit, might actually be good at or have a talent for a whole lot of things other than…being poor exploited women who can be used as an illustration of/for whatever at any given moment by people who probably do not give a crap about them- or let alone listen to them.

Jesus Christ.  I really do want to know how many of the anti porn types over there have ever really listened to Grey, you know, actually listened to her, and what she has to say about her decisions to be in porn.  Oh wait, she can’t possibly make decisions now, can she?  She like all those poor creatures is apparently too fucking stupid to do so, or at least to be believed.

A yep, that is what I really feel like it comes down to some days.  Anti porn people thinking all women in porn are fucking morons…and thus, can be used at will for whatever agenda, because they are too dumb to notice.

Rage.  No real words for it…just rage.

“Slllluuuuutttt!”

Posted: September 22, 2009 in Slut Shaming & Whorephobia

slut2So, I went and I read this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I was talking about the whole “slut” thing with Ginmar, and I got to thinking.  Often dangerous, you know.  And look, it seems I lied.  I said there would not be much feminist-esque stuff on this blog, but I guess maybe I was wrong, because yep, this is the sort of thing many feminists do talk about. 

And nah, I am not going to talk about that particular case.  I am not going to talk about if she was or was not really raped.  What I am going to talk about is how slut shaming hurts everyone and how the double standards regarding slut like behavior between women and men are complete and utter bullshit.

That’s right, you heard me, bullshit.  And the first dude that comes over here and whines about sexual shaming towards men or “well we have different pressures, what about us?” is going to get virtually slapped, because this post is not about that, savvy?  This post is specifically about the word “slut” and all that goes with it. 

Now, shocker here I am sure, but by any sane definition of the word, I am a slut.  I rather like being a slut, thanks. And I have before said within regards to dress, I do believe in truth in advertising.  I mean, if I am dressed like my cartoon gal there, and I go out somewhere, I do expect that why yes, men might assume I am interested in sex.  They might approach me about it.  However, I have also said repeatedly, no matter what any woman is wearing or how she acts with other men, no man, or group of men, has the right to assume she is interested in sex with them.   Chances are, if she is interested in sex with you, she will let you know.  You do not have the right, no matter what she is wearing to assume that she wants to, will, or should have sex with you.  Jesus Christ I hope that is clear.  But be that as it may, what, with my like of being a slut and whole truth in advertising theory, I absolutely realize there is a down side.

Follow me here…  I know a lot of women think that they can or have reclaimed the word slut (or countless others like it).  I am skeptical on that one.  Sure, I use the word slut (and others like it) all the time, namely when referring to myself…but you know, I don’t buy the reclaimation theory.  I just happen to think- good and bad connotations- that there is nothing wrong with being a slut…and if people want to see me/judge me in a negative way merely by the fact that yep, I am a slut…well, frankly, I got no use for them.  They can suck my proverbial strap on in hell and all.  However, regardless of my personal take or feelings on the word, the stone cold and sad fact is being labelled a slut is not helpful the majority of the time in the eyes of the world at large.  It is, currently in our society, a bad thing, and so long as it remains as such, shit ain’t been reclaimed at all, people.

Unless you have a penis.  At which point, being a slut isn’t so bad.  In fact, in great segments of society (i.e. the dominant culture), it is fine and dandy, even good.  Guys who have lots of sex are playas, playboys, ladies men, “lucky”, or other various euphemisms.  At worst, they are “dogs”…but dog isn’ t the same as bitch, and shoot, even being a dog is envied by many.  I mean, for real…

If I get raped or sexually assaulted, well, because I am a slut you sure as shit know my sexual history is going to be on the table for discussion…if not in a trial itself, everywhere else.  However, I wonder if my attackers would be?  Do you think he would get asked how many women he had slept with?  If he had one night stands?  If he picked up women on a regular basis merely to have sex with?  If he dressed in a manner that showed off his body?  I doubt it.  And even if he did, do you think public opinion about him being a slut would be nearly as negative as it would about me being a slut?  Oh, I don’t think so.

And this whole double standard thing regarding men being sluts vs women being sluts?  It doesn’t help anyone, really.  It only hurts people. Frankly, I dream of a world where women and men can or cannot be sluts as they choose and no one really cares because truthfully, it is not their business.  And a woman who has agreed to have sex with the entire state of New York might turn down and get raped by one dude from Boston…and guess what, if the dude from Boston  raped her, the fact that she has fucked all of NY should not matter at all, because she consented to do that.  And this whole double standard thing?  It does not just hurt the women.  It does hurt the men too.  With the current dominant culture, the whole “your wife/girlfriend/daughter/sister” is a slut has repercussions on males (where as your husband/boyfriend/son/brother/male lover thing does not to the same degree at all), but it goes beyond that.  It reinforces the idea that men are supposed to get as much sex and possible and women are not supposed to give it (which hey, never plays into rape at all or anything), it plays into men having negative thoughts towards women who do have sex, possibly with lots of people, including people other than them), and you know what. it just, just might, on some occasions, when a woman realizes she will be shamed and branded a whore for the rest of her life by the majority of the world because she “acted like a slut” …well, it just might make her levy accusations against a man or men which are false.*  And even if she does go to that extreme, she’ll still be called a slut…and not in a good way.

So yeah, with the walking around every day of my life with the whole slut label in place, I am not sure if reclaiming can or ever will work.  What I do think would be grand was if people, men or women, were sluts, it did not freakin’ matter and it did not have the power to destroy their lives.  And on this, women always get the  short end of the stick.  We’ve not reclaimed shit.  I’ve accepted that and can deal with that and fail to care what 99% of people think about it in regards to me; but you can bet your ass and a pair if snake skin boots I damn well know what the potential punishments for my sluttiness could be, from “oh she’s fucked everyone she probably deserved it or is lying” in an instance of rape to, oh, potential future employment in non-sex based fields to, oh, daily bullshit from other humans.  I know my chances there, and yeah, I am willing to take them.

But that is me, one person, in the here and now.  I wonder about all those other people, women people specifically.  I think about how the double standards on the word slut hurt everyone.  And yeah, I sure as hell think they do.  It’s okay for men to be sluts, no one seems to care or really judge them for it.  Women?  Oh, not the same case at all.  And that, my friends, sucks.   Until that changes?  Well, the word “slut” has not been reclaimed at all, and women who are sluts will take all the bad that goes with it.

And oh yeah, any man who is a slut who fucks female sluts and then acts like they are so much lower than he is and would not speak up in her defense were she sexually assaulted or what have you?  I really do hope your dicks rot off and I wonder just how much you hate yourself…. just sayin’, one slut to another.

*By no means am I saying this is what happened in the case I linked, but the sexual shaming of women has led to and inspired some pretty fucked up shit that harms everyone involved.