Dear Universe, Fuck You.

So, less than 24 hours ago I had an awesome, cute, cool kitten named Ozzy.

I don’t anymore.  The vet from the cat ER called at about 7 am this morning, I of course was awake still, and well…they had done everything they could, and no dice.  Then, as they do around these parts, the autopsied to make sure rabies was not the issue.  It wasn’t.  His intestines were just wired wrong, and well, it killed him.   So I have lost a cool kitten, his sister is looking for him, I am staring at a 1500$ vet bill that I really fucking cannot pay, and Mr.E is a fucking mess about it…and of course, I have to be the strong one…and I have to worry about if the same thing will happen with the female from the same litter  (who has been renamed because a Sharon without an Ozzy seems wrong.  She’s Raven now…not my name choice, but okay).

And  yep, I am pretty fucked up about it.  Can’t even really cry about it because hell, I have been awake for too goddamn long and still have to figure out how I am going to pay for the whole nasty deal.  I have to try and help Mr.E not crack up about it.  I have to reassure Sharon/Raven that yep, there are humans here that love her and pet her and think she is awesome even thou her brother is gone…

And I just want to crawl off somewhere and pretend that none of this shit happens and I don’t have to deal with it, and I want to shoot a fucking god or whatever else that lets shit like this happen and I wonder what the fuck I ever did that has turned my life into complete shit in almost every possible fucking way.

I am sad, and I am fucking angry, and I feel so dead it is not even remotely amusing to even me and I just want to burn something to the ground and start over.  I am sitting here asking friends for goddamn money for my deceased cat because all I wanted to do was save him and gee, that shit costs money,  and trying to figure out (literally) who I am gonna have to fuck to get the rest when the LAST thing I feel like doing is working and pretending I like or give a shit about the people I am gonna have to get naked for / fuck to get the money to pay for my poor dead cat’s medical bills. 

That’s right, Comedian, the Joke is on Us, and it isn’t funny.

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I can’t do this again….

Hummm..why I hate the world.

 

My cat, Ozzy, who was all spry and awesome in the bellow photo?  On his way to the kitty ER, right now.   No idea what is going on. Took him to vet….body temp?  Bad!….Responses, Bad!  He was  FINE until a few hours ago, now he cant stand, is legthargic, laboured breathing, can’t get to his box.

He’s barely a month old and appears to be dying.

I cant do this again.  And Kitten ER’s are more than this whore can afford.

I hate doing this.  I HATE IT.

I hate everything right now…why is a wee kitten dying when I am healthy as hell?  Sharon is looking for him, I am freaking out.   Ozzy never hurt anyone.  Alll he did was be awesome. I am a fucking asshole.  If you can, and I only mean if you can, for real, on my old blog is the pay pal…even if you think I suck, can you help Ozzy?  I lost Set in June, this shit hurts worse than being set on fire.

I am not often weak, this is one of those times.  I don’t want to lose him.

Ozzy Stages an Intervention on my City Of Heroes Addiction….

Or something like that….

“don’t go down the hall, there is Malta Group down that hall, with big Mechs, waiting for you!”

General Stuff…cats, Michael Vick, and other things…

As opposed to General Panic, General Apathy, and Generals of the military…

I have decided that Sharon and Ozzy, Sharon specifically, are pure evil wrapped in cute fur.  She seems to be totally against letting the humans in the household sleep.  If any one part of one’s body is not wrapped in blankets while attempting to sleep, it is chewed on.  Early this morning while attempting to sleep, I was wrapped up like a tamale in blankets and she decided, purring and all, to settle down to sleep on my head.  Like, directly on the side of my head.  Oh, did I mention it is still around 80 degrees here?  Yeah…it’s still warm here.  So, between the sweating if one wants to avoid being chewed on or the chewing if one opts for air, not much sleep going on here because Sharon is eeeevill.  Oz?  Oz will just lay down on you and fall asleep…that is, until Sharon attacks him, then the bed becomes kitty thunderdome and all bets are off.  Yeah, you haven’t lived until you have had two kittens who are wired up like speed freaks run across your chest-claws out- at two in the morning. 

Oz also has an odd habit of joining people in the shower…with the water on and everything.  If he starts shaving his legs, I am really gonna wonder…

Speaking of cats and water thou, have you seen this?  I laughed.  I admit it.

I am debating if I should go back to bed or not…hummm. 

In other news, I am still trying to decide how I feel about Michael Vick playing for the Eagles.  See, I sorta like the Eagles, I’m a big Donovan McNabb fan.  As some of you may (or may not know) Vick (who played QB for the Atlanta Falcons in the NFL) was arrested and convicted and did time for dog fighting– well, after he was released from prison, a lot of people figured either A) NFL teams deseperate for a QB of Vick’s calibre would be knocking down his door or B) he would never play in the NFL again.  Both were wrong.  The Philly Eagles were the only team who even showed much of an interest in him.  And as the Eagles are a team I like, I remember when I heard they signed Vick I was like “Great…that blows”.  Coach Andy Reid suggested that he thought Vick deserved a second chance, and a lot of other people agree, saying that Vick was young, he did his time, he is in debt beyond belief, is now speaking on behalf of animal rights organizations, in essence, attempting to make amends.  Still though, in my head, it is not like Vick accidentally hit a dog with his car, you know?  He tortured and murdered a lot of animals.  For sport and profit.  That doesn’t sit well with me at all…

But when the NFL will let a lot of guys who are notorious woman beaters, involved in shootings, so on, so forth, continue to play, I guess Vick should not seem that special.  Athletes are in many ways our modern gods, and get away with shit the average person never would…but that is a rant for a different day I suppose….and I am a sports fan.

I guess I feel like yeah, Vick should get to play, but no matter how brilliant he might be on the football field, what he did?  Flat out wrong and sick, and that should not be forgotten.  I will even admit part of me hopes he really sucks, can’t play like he used too, and gets cut. 

In other football news, the Denver Broncos have managed to win their first two games!  This is nothing short of a miracle, and it may be the only two wins they get all season, but I am happy!   I also still have a major crush on Brett Favre, even if he is now wearing purple.  Via Gin…

Heh.

Okay, more sleep now, hopefully without cats on my head or attempting to eat me.  More real blogging at some later date.

There will be actual postage later…

In the mean time, I go now to sleep…Like Sharon & Ozzy…

 

Though I do have a larger bed.  Which they are probably in at the moment.