So, less than 24 hours ago I had an awesome, cute, cool kitten named Ozzy.
I don’t anymore. The vet from the cat ER called at about 7 am this morning, I of course was awake still, and well…they had done everything they could, and no dice. Then, as they do around these parts, the autopsied to make sure rabies was not the issue. It wasn’t. His intestines were just wired wrong, and well, it killed him. So I have lost a cool kitten, his sister is looking for him, I am staring at a 1500$ vet bill that I really fucking cannot pay, and Mr.E is a fucking mess about it…and of course, I have to be the strong one…and I have to worry about if the same thing will happen with the female from the same litter (who has been renamed because a Sharon without an Ozzy seems wrong. She’s Raven now…not my name choice, but okay).
And yep, I am pretty fucked up about it. Can’t even really cry about it because hell, I have been awake for too goddamn long and still have to figure out how I am going to pay for the whole nasty deal. I have to try and help Mr.E not crack up about it. I have to reassure Sharon/Raven that yep, there are humans here that love her and pet her and think she is awesome even thou her brother is gone…
And I just want to crawl off somewhere and pretend that none of this shit happens and I don’t have to deal with it, and I want to shoot a fucking god or whatever else that lets shit like this happen and I wonder what the fuck I ever did that has turned my life into complete shit in almost every possible fucking way.
I am sad, and I am fucking angry, and I feel so dead it is not even remotely amusing to even me and I just want to burn something to the ground and start over. I am sitting here asking friends for goddamn money for my deceased cat because all I wanted to do was save him and gee, that shit costs money, and trying to figure out (literally) who I am gonna have to fuck to get the rest when the LAST thing I feel like doing is working and pretending I like or give a shit about the people I am gonna have to get naked for / fuck to get the money to pay for my poor dead cat’s medical bills.
That’s right, Comedian, the Joke is on Us, and it isn’t funny.