Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

hell yeah!

and yes its me, and yes any art in it i drew and yes the six armed Kali naga drawing is my back tattoo and yes, i  did make her look scrawny like me!!!!  And yes, I look vastly different with red, black and blonde hair… blonde bad, red or black okay, even black and pink and white dreads!  And do not ask about my Agent Smith obsession, just…don’t!

First off, I survived my 40th birthday insanity and came out the other side with only a few bruises and minor flesh wounds…and a hangover.  It was one heck of a time and a whole lotta fun, and well, I looked upon it and found it good, except the hangover.  Those are never good.  But celebration time is now over and once again, I shall now press my crooked nose to the grindstone and make good on my promise to say shit some people are thinking and don’t wanna say and others sure as shit don’t wanna hear….so let’s get back to that elephant, I reckon its about time…

I’ve discussed the Elephant in the Room before, overview and prologue style.  But hey, I like to dig, I’m a digger.  I gnaw on things, digest, consider, and dig some more.  And as I have been doing that, mentally feasting and such, I reckon it is now time; time to do the unthinkable, something real unpopular, but something that needs doing.  It’s a double fuck for certain, but I’m gonna do it anyway.  It’s time for not only a history lesson, but some defense of white folk…especially and including…white dudes.

Oh shit, now I’ve gone and done it, yeah?   Oh well, what else is new?

Now, I have talked before about how there is still one group of people it is socially acceptable to make fun of, a group that is mocked and belittled in a way that well, if one were to mock or belittle other groups of people in such a fashion it would kill their careers and they’d be persona non-gratis pretty much anywhere for a long time.  I mean, if Gene Weingarten had said something similar about Hispanic, black, Chinese, Iranian or any other sort of folk…what do you honestly think the reaction would be?  If he’d made it a “humorous jibe” about someone defending their opium den and Cantonese fried cat or low riders and burritos or crack house and chicken or gold coins and matzoh balls or any other countless insulting cultural stereotypes…do you think he’d still be a popular unsanctioned writer and humorist for the Washington Post?  Really?  Seriously? For some reason I suspect otherwise.  I really do.  Folk who have done such have paid for the crime, because its not okay to do that…unless you do it to certain kinds of white folk…and Weingarten proves just how okay it is.  Which burns my biscuits, actually.  Why, you might ask?  Well…

Let’s talk some history first, shall we?  I am a fan after all.  History can be very informative, interesting, scary, and well, it is the story of humans.  However, it is the story of humans as written by the winners and in truth, for the most part…rich white dudes.   Not all white dudes…rich white dudes.  And being mad at rich white dudes?  I’m okay with that.  They have- historically and all- proven themselves to be greedy douchebags who will use, abuse, and sell out folk- of all races, colors, and genders- if it will earn ’em a buck.   This has been historically proven even!  And while rich white dudes do have a tendancy to try to control and regulate everything, from cash flow to the info that makes it down to us plebians, they don’t always succeed.  So yeah, lets get on with that, shall we?

As everyone here knows I should hope, the US engaged in slavery.  We all know that.  We also know that colonists did absolutely horrible things to the Native Americans/First People of North America; everything from land theft to mass murder.   But, as I sit here, in history mode and all, I want y’all to consider your own roots.  Are ya Irish?  Or Scottish? Or English? Or German?  Or Slavic of any sort?  Then chances are, when your people arrived here on a boat, if they did so before oh, 1865 or so, chances are they did not necessarily do so by choice.  They were probably coerced to come here, or did so as indentured servants, or to work other (rich, white) peoples land, or fight in wars, or as convicts (oddly enough, England sent convicts here prior to the Revolutionary War, then they turned to Australia) or in countless other ways that hardly count as bold and noble endeavors.   Much like a great many of the non-white folk who got screwed by rich white folk, tons of white folk were also screwed: lied to, abducted, abused, tortured, killed, owned, and otherwise fucked over…and they may very well be your ancestors.  If you read up on the ships who brought non-rich white folk over here, or the lives they lived, or how they were treated, worked, abused and screwed, you might see some similarities- many, many, many similarities- to how the non-white folk were treated.  Terminology was sometimes different, sometimes the same…but to me, an Irish indentured servant shipped over to the new world by Cromwell who ended up being sold and worked to death in a field is really not so different from anyone else who ended up in a similar situation.

Fascinated by this notion,  I myself did some digging into my own family tree, and while my direct people only got here recently- pre WWII/post WWII and all- I did find some interesting shit…it seems a whole bunch of my dad’s side of the family (the Russian side) were hung for stealing horses, and those who weren’t were tossed outta Russia…they eventually made it to America…where a bunch of ’em were hung in Colorado/ Wyoming/ Utah…for stealing horses (apparently my people had a one track minds and never learned nothing at the end of a rope!).  Many of my Mom’s side of the family left economic destitution in North England and ended up in Louisiana and Georgia… during the Civil War.  They did not travel for free.  I found all this very interesting, and wondered just how many other white folk like me…well, how did their families get here?  Surely they were not all rich land owners, blue-bloods, people who owned other people…and sure enough, I bet you a pair of snake skin boots that a great many of us?  Well, your ancestors or family relations made it here to the New World just like some of my people did; as convicts or labor or kicked out of their own countries- kidnapped or lied to or led on- bought, sold, owned, worked hard and treated poorly.   And you know what?  None of us got acres or mules either.  In fact?  Those folk sorta got fucked.  After all, rich folk have been fucking not rich folk- of all colors- since feudal times…and they still are.

History lesson done.  But History lesson in mind…how the hell is it okay to think that every white person in the US is the same, starting from the same place, and with all the same privileges?  Even the white dudes?   For years now, rich white dudes have been running the show and shitting on everyone.  Poor white dudes- like poor folk of other colors and genders-they’ve been taking it up the ass, no kiss, no lube, no reach around, for eons.  Just like everyone else.  They don’t start wars, they just fight in them.  They don’t own factories, they work in them.  They don’t drive BMW’s, they repair them.  They work in coal mines and on oil rigs and in processing plants- doing often dangerous jobs for often decreasing wages and being thankful that they work at all- just like everyone else.  They worry about their futures and families, just like everyone else.  And even those who bought into the White Collar American dream?  The tech guys and business guys and such?  They are finding their jobs outsourced and their positions downsized and their hours increasing while their paychecks grow smaller- just like everyone else.  Why?  Because if history teaches one anything, its that money is and has always been the bottom line, profit is king, people are cogs, and those few with the power and the money will do anything and everything to keep it, screw everyone; regardless of color, race, nationality, religion, gender, sexual preference or any other difference.  Other people, even poor white dudes, are nothing more to them than a bottom line of productivity.  That has not changed.  From the feudal holds of Europe to the plantations of the South to the Factories of the North to the Railroads of the West to the Mines of…well, any goddamn mine, from West Virginia to Colorado…men, women, children worked and died and made very little headway in doing so, but they did make a very select few rich…and it did not matter if they were white, black, yellow or brown, Chinese, Irish, Former Slaves or Free Men.  Profit is color blind.  And it still is.  To this day.

Yet, that truth, that very real and historical fact, does not change the fact that not rich white folk, including and maybe even especially the dudes, get to eat shit and take blame for rich white folk even though they got screwed too, and are still being screwed too.  They get blamed for shit they never did, accused of holding attitudes and power they do not have- and likely never had or will ever have- they because they are white, and some of ’em are male, get to take all the hate and blame for shit they not only had no hand in, but were victims of too…and they don’t even have the modern politically correct mode of thinking that makes racism or sexism or religious intolerance against other folk unsavory and seriously life impacting on their side at all.  It’s STILL okay and funny to make fun of “those people”, the men and the women.  Why?  Cause well, “those people” are white…and all white people are the same, and started off with all the good shit, and historically have always had the good shit, and all that other crap too, right?

Say it to me with a straight face, I dare you.  Especially to my face.  Tell me how the majority of white people are Rockefeller’s or Vanderbilt’s.  Tell me how the majority, historically and culturally, have really always had it so good and had a head start over everyone else in life…especially the dudes.  Tell me we all look alike and are just the same.  Tell me it’s okay to trash those people because they are trash and are just lazy and failed to excel because they started off so ahead in life just because they are…white.  Tell me that, and I’ll call ya a liar.

Clue here, nobody, regardless of color or gender or any other thing, has an easy time pullin’ themselves up by their bootstraps if they have no boots, and rich white dudes have done a good job of keeping boots off a whole lotta feet- because passing out boots to everyone, even other white folk, would not be profitable!

But who want to talk about class and how its not okay to make fun of white people who aren’t rich and aren’t the people who fucked everyone (and are still fucking everyone) over and how  we got no reason to be angry or feel slighted?  After all, it ain’t popular…

Elephants in the room never are…

Okay, fine then, a Rant…

Posted: October 27, 2011 in Humans, Rants

So, I pissed some people off by writing about sexual assaults at OWS events.  Which still has me shaking my head and saying WTF, but hey, what can you do, and true enough, I was not speaking in glowing terms about the protesters or the conditions in which they are currently living…how horrible of me, even though the conditions have been described as less than pleasant and well, folk like this guy don’t tend to make me think real highly of them- nor do reports of rape, child rape, and victims being told not to say anything…so sue me, hate my guts, whatever, I fail to give a fuck because holy shit, when things like that are happening, I am not the one being willfully ignorant.

And I don’t normally get too political in my blogging here.  I, in general, try to avoid it like the plague, because I’ve seen and learned that talking politics with people whom you do not agree?  Fastest way in the world to turn everyone into a buncha screaming morons who simply cannot agree to disagree, and anything and everything about that other person is immediately forgotten because they don’t have the same politics.  Which is…well, sad and stupid IMHO.  I can like a person and not think lesser of them if they have different politics than me- but that ain’t a universal trait.  But oh well.  I’m a libertarian, that is known.  I am even a more right leaning libertarian than makes some folk comfortable; that too is probably known or suspected.  And yep, as you may have guessed…I *myself* am not into or supportive of OWS.  Do I think folk have a right to protest?  Yep.  Do I think they have a right and a reason to be pissed off?  Yep.  Do I support fully their right to free speech and to assemble and protest?  Absolutely.  I do.  They can have at it.  But I also think the second they get violent, or threatening, or endanger/harm/harass other people who are not on the same page as them (or in some cases are on the same page) well, then their rights do not outweigh anyone else’s.  And I sure as shit think some of these folks would have learned a thing or two from history: You swing on a cop, you better expect you’re gonna get hit too, media darlings of the moment or not.  You rush and damage police and city vehicles, expect you might get hurt when they try to move those things.  You piss off enough people, be it by your politics, the mess you are making in their cities, or yes, by shitting on their lawns, you might expect they are gonna get pissed off right back.  And maybe, just maybe, if you engage in violence of any kind or are afiliated with those who do or who advocate it (see second link), people might be violent back.   Unfortunate?  Yeah.  True?  Yeah.  As I have said before, if I had these folk camped out in my neighborhood and one of ’em decided to use my front yard as a toilet, there might be violence.  There would definitely be a call to the police.  And that is something I think the OWS folk and their supporters are forgetting…

Their actions?  They aren’t just affecting the cops or making the banks and politicians take notice.  They are affecting other people, you know, working and middle class folk like themselves who also got screwed, who also have debt, who also are worried as hell about the economy and their futures.  People who, for whatever reasons, have not joined the OWS crew and merely want to find/work/do their jobs, get a good nights sleep, take care of their families, keep their towns, cities, neighborhoods, streets as nice and safe and peaceful as possible.  YEAH, THOSE PEOPLE.  They are also being affected.  And they are also getting pissed off.  I can promise you, promise, that if I lived right next door to one of these OWS sites, I would probably be pissed as hell at these folks by now.  The noise, the hassle, the mess, the cops everywhere, yeah, I’d be real thrilled with all that right out my front door…especially when I am not a banker, a rich person, some fat cat business person, a politician, or anything other than another human being with debt and worries who got screwed just like a huge majority of Americans.  

And am I the only one out there thinking to myself “This shit never ends well?”  I can’t be really, can I?  When this sort of thing does succeed, well, it ends in war.  When it doesn’t?  It ends in Kent State/Tiananmen Square.  Hell, violence is already happening at these events between protesters and police, amid the protesters themselves, and if not already, soon enough it will be happening between protesters and non-police/non-protesters who have simply had enough.  And frankly, sorry, these protesters?  From what I have seen…I don’t have a real high opinion.  They got no more screwed than a lot of other people, seemingly have no respect for those other people who got screwed but have chosen not to protest but rather get up, take care of their business, and pay off their unfair and often undeserved debt, or have concerns and obligations which are More Important to themselves, their families, and their well-beings than, oh, protesting.  Hell, simple fact is, some people can’t afford to be protesters, and some have no desire to be socialists, or anarchists, or whatever else- or affiliated with them.  That doesn’t mean they got any less screwed over, just like the protesters.  And yeah, I think some of those people, the non-OWS ones?  They are sick, tired, pissed off, and annoyed as well.  And at this point, in thinking person mode I wonder…well, what happens when you have pissed off sick and tired protesters, pissed off sick and tired cops, pissed off sick and tired non-protesters, non-cops, all of whom who have been screwed over?  Nothing good.  And usually violent nothing good.

But you can only push people so far.  And IMHO, it is never smart to push people who are more heavily armed and better trained than you Too Far, or people who have done Nothing To You whom you are infringing upon Too Far, and when you do so?  You are a fucking idiot to think they will not push back.  Thusly, anyone who pushes- be it a cop you chuck something at or Joe/Jane Citizen who you are sleep depriving and messing up their property or treating them like crap in the name of politics- should be aware you might get pushed back.  And that is not a freakin’ excuse, it’s human nature.  Period.

When things get pushed, things get broken.  After all, revolution is never fun and games now, is it?



*If they look the part and live in the right places…

First, I gotta say, you make three posts in a row involving firearms and I guess people start to look at ya funny.  So today, no firearms, and back to some posting I promised.  So yeah, let’s get on with that then, shall we?

It was prolly more than a month ago I read an article about a program up in NYC that had been set up to help out disadvantage/at risk young men- you know, provide them with choices other than crime and gangs and drugs and such.  It seemed that the focus group of this program was Latino males age 12 to about 20.  And I am not going to poo-poo such things, I think if we are gonna spend money on programs,  any sorta program that helps kids and young adults avoid trouble is a good thing.   Yet still, reading about this program, for young Latino males, in NYC, stuck this little hook  in my brain, and it would not go away.

So I started digging around, looking into this sort of thing, these kinds of programs, finding out more about them:  where they were, who they were for, how they were run, who paid for ’em, things of that nature.  Results of that digging?    Well, results have lead me to believe that we, as a society, seek to help our most disadvantaged and at risk so long as they look the part and and live in the right places.  You see, a  great majority of these programs are in large cities, are geared towards black and hispanic populations, and tend to be far more prevelant for young men/boys than for young women/girls.    Many are government funded, others are private and rely on donations from the public (often a few very wealthy folk)- which may play into why they are mostly in cities, after all, the government tends to pay more attention to big cities (more money, more businesses, more voters, so on), and well, big cities also tend to have more folk wealthy enough to donate to/fund private run organizations of this nature.  If you look around, there are plenty of these sorts of programs in places like NYC, LA, Pheonix, Chicago, Philly, San Diego, Dallas,  Atlanta, Miami, so on…BIG CITIES .  You even find them in not so giant metropolisis like Minneapolis, Indianapolis, Buffalo, so on.  But they are, without a doubt, a city thing, and geared towards a certain section of society: boys and young men who are black or Latino.  Heck, even in NYC, it is far easier for a man to find a bed in a homeless shelter than a woman…after all, many times women have children with them, and shit, that gets expensive!

So, then I did some more digging and found some interesting stats, and really, not a lot in the way of programs, government funding, private funding, or even mere interest in such problems for these issues- at all-in the actual areas where they ARE issues!  Aside from downgrading these folk as not important enough to HAVE programs…  For Instance:

The States with the Highest Rates of Teen Pregnancy Are:

New Mexico
North Carolina

Hummm, you notice a theme there?  Aside from maybe California & Texas, and maybe Florida?  Which are  HUGE states full of cities, but also gotta ton of rural areas too. Oh yeah, and well, pregnancy happens to…females…

How about Unemployment?  I mean, this is an issue everyone can prolly agree is a big issue.  And these programs address it a lot, providing people with job skills and work ethic and alternatives to crime and all those things…programs that seek to empower young men, and to a lesser degree, young women, to enter and be a productive part of the work force.  And yeah, well all know the economy is crap, but…

States with the Highest Unemployment Rates are:

South Carolina
Washington DC*  (district, not a state, but it’s up there anyway)
Rhode Island
North Carolina

Once again, Cali on this list,  FL and even DC too, but humm, a few over laps there, yeah?

How about the stats on High School Drop Outs?  That one might play into this whole deal too, yeah? That putting young adults and kids into disadvantaged/ at risk zones?  So here we go for that one, states and stats style:

States with the Highest Drop Out Rates:

North Carolina
South Carolina
New Mexico

Then I even kind of took a different tack, since I am sort of on the subject of at risk and disadvantaged… so how about suicide rates?  I mean, for someone to kill themselves, shit has gotta be pretty dire I reckon.  As a general rule, one is gotta be pretty dang depressed and lookin’ at a glass that is more than half empty to take themselves out…so, I looked into that. First thing that caught my eye is the leading group of folk who off themselves is white men, followed by white women.   But lets look at the states and stats on that one too:

State Stats for Suicide:

New Mexico
West Virgina

Hell, look at  that, Nevada for the win, or lose as it may be!

And then I looked into some other stuff, watched some documentaries on the History Channel, the Health Channel, A&E, things of that nature, where I learned that well, it’s not LA, or NY, or Boston or Chicago where drug use rates are jumping through the roof.  It’s…Ohio.  Where the abuse of prescription painkillers and heroin use has hit afterburner levels of increase.  Ohio.  Nevada, New Mexico, Colorado, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas- dramatic increase in the use of everything from methamphetamine to heroin (and most prevalent amid white folk).  Alcoholism?  Very big deal in places like Alaska,  Nevada (again), Wyoming and North Dakota- and seemingly most prevalent amid white folk and Native American folk.   Oh, and for the record, the state with the highest rate of illiteracy is Mississippi I do believe.  And you know what I noticed?

None of these places are NYC,  and no one, from the government to private citizens, are paying too much attention or spending too much money trying to, oh…fix this? Help out?  Do shit to help these disadvantaged or at risk people?  Now, I had my resident Devil’s Advocate suggest the reason for this is because well, the government is focusing on trying to keep young men and boys outta gangs and turn ’em into productive citizens…to wit I responded, the widely regarded most dangerous gang in, oh, the world? MS-13.  Whose  US headquarters are in…ahem…Manassas Va.  Not LA, not NYC, not Chicago, or Detroit, or Phoenix, or Dallas.  Yep, right here in good ole Manassas Va.   And ya know, Manassas is not swimmin’ in the programs designed to keep kids from going bad, and it ain’t a big city either.   And the world does not begin and stop, alpha and omega style, with young men who are at risk for joining gangs, yet there seems to be very little out there for anyone other than them.  I also noticed, well, not to much interest at all in stopping white dudes, Asians, Native Americans,  or…gasp…women/girls from joining gangs (and they do, believe it or not-all those groups of people in our society have/join/belong to gangs!)

I am also big on playing Devil’s Advocate myself, but I honestly think this time, it ain’t the Devil’s Due I am advocating.  I dunno if people need to yell at their congressmen, or rich folk in town, or speak with their votes, or go to their churches, or what…but damn.  Look at those stats y’all.  Nevada sounds like one of Dante’s Circles of Hell as far as this shit goes, and (ahem) so do states like Georgia, North and South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi, New Mexico, so on.  States that are not necessarily swimming in big cities or big money (casinos aside for NV).  I mean hell, NY is not on a single ONE of those stat lists.  Nor is Illinois!  You know, where NYC and Chicago are!  And you know…cause you can bet I noticed it, a lot of these states on this here list (not all, but many), they are the American West/ Southwest and the South.  And with the exceptions of Texas, Cali, and Florida?  Not swimming in cash, or…voters.  And it leads me to wonder…why is someones son or daughter -black, brown, white, yellow, mixed, or any other thing, in a NYC or Chicago or LA or any other big city area more deserving of help, of assistance, of programs than someones son or daughter in Nevada, or Georgia, or Mississippi?  Or anywhere else for that matter?  Why are people who are more at risk for joining gangs or what not taking almost universal precedent over folk who are at risk for dropping out, getting pregnant, having no job, or, well, killin’ themselves?  IMHO, they aren’t.   And while I am pretty far from a yay government- funded social programs for everyone kinda gal, it seems to me if we are going to have them, at all, we need to spread that love around- make it an equal thing, with shit out there and available to folk in urban and rural areas, for women and men, and for folk of all colors…because damn, it looks like Nevada could use a program like the one I read about in NYC a hell of a lot more than NYC could.

I think it comes down to a couple things, really.  Votes prolly has something do to with it….but I also think we, in the US, have poster child-ed (yeah, I made it up) a very specific type of person  (young black or Latino male) as our most disadvantaged and at risk members of society.  That imagine is not accurate, and not representative, and in fact, probably pretty dangerous all around for everyone.   A dude who fits that image is no more at risk or disadvantaged than a pregnant sixteen year old girl in Mississippi or a drug addicted out of work white guy in Nevada…and it is long past fuckin’ time we figured that shit out and used social programs to truly help our most disadvantaged and at risk members- regardless of what they look like or where they live.

* sources:  Suicide Stats, Pregnancy Stats, Unemployment Stats    Drop out stats

Television and other media: Words Most Dangerous Drug (Discovery), Heroin in the Heartland (Oxygen), American Meth (History),  Drugs in America (Discovery Health), The Worlds Most Dangerous Gang (Discovery),  Intervention Special: Epidemics- Florida, Ohio, Nevada (A&E) , Gangland: MS-13, Gangland: Gangster Girls (Discovery).

this gal.  She may or may not have a rep for settling things with her fists, she may or may not have a record.  You hear that she and some friends, all gals too, of varying similarity to her- from very to not at all- decided to go out for a gals nite; have a beer, listen to some music, maybe play some pool- low key things of that nature.  Whilst out said gal is hit on by someone.  This someone is not polite about it and will not take no for an answer, even puts their hands, uninvited, on this gal.  So she decks ’em.  Hard.  Like possibly police involvement hard. 

Did the person deserve it?  The getting decked?  Yes or no?


Okay, now, say the person who got decked by said gal also happens to be a woman?  Of the lesbian variety.  Does this change things?

And then tries to have not only assault but gay bashing/hate crime charges brought up on said gal.  What then?

Said gal counters with sexual battery charges, everyone walks away clear….

Now, lets change it up a bit.  The  folk out for the evening are dudes.  Of any color or class or mode of dress or what have you.  And one of these straight boys is in the same situation and reacts the same way.  Does that change shit? 

I don’t think it does at all in my opinion.  My opinion is as follows:  Unwanted sexual advances, be they made by straight folk or  gay folk are JUST that, and just as I would oh, stand up for or cheer on a gal who decked a dude who pulled that shit….I’d prolly be on the side of ANY person, regardless of sex or sexual preference, who stood up to, even decked, someone who was making unwanted sexual advances on them- and I sure as shit don’t believe them doing so is a hate crime.  A pack of sneo-nazi skinheads beating up a gay person or a person of color just because they are gay or not white?  Hate crime.  A pack of gangbangers beating up a gay person or a person of a different color just because of that?  Also a hate crime.  Hell, ANYONE beating on anyone “just because they are – insert color, gender, sexual preference, so on- hate crime….

Someone decking someone else, gay or straight, because they are making unwanted sexual advances?  Not a hate crime.  Period.  And any scum ass douchebag who tries to pull the hate crime shit on that sorta thing?  Totally deserves gettin’ decked a few more times.

a buncha goddamn fascists…

So, being a fan of the ink and all, I have been pondering a lot of new ink lately.  I do still have skin after all, and you know, because it really is fitting, I was pondering oh…that there design sitting right here on the post.  And NOT even as a political statement, but because, well, yeah.  It’s very me really.  And I like it.  And it was woo, me angry with a pen and a piece of paper made.  BUT, you see, apparently, that would be a very, very bad idea.  Never mind I vote and pay taxes and while I might look like one of those spooky backwoods militia types I’m not actually, and well, hell, apparently I am already fucked.  Why, you might ask, am I possibily already fucked?  Well, apparently the FBI has been going around to various tattoo parlors askin’ questions and passing out flyers and encouraging tattoo artists to “help out” against terrorism.  In short, they are askin’ these folks to report to the FBI when folk who look odd, are maybe pissed off at the government, or are getting “questionable” ink come in to get tattooed.  Oh yeah, and if they smell kinda chemical or have burn scars and bright colored stains on their clothes…definately rat out those fuckers- cause those bastards/bitches are prolly buildin’ bombs.  Hell, read the shit for yerself!

Thusly, I repeat, I am fucked.  Not only do I dress like a scary redneck, I do often stink chemical and have One Hell of a Burn Scar.  Oh yeah, and since I paint and shit a lot, uh, stains of many colors on much of my shit.  Never mind I’ve never built a bomb in my life…I dress like a spooky militia person, burn scar, stains on my shit, sometimes stink like chemicals,  already have some fuckin’ wierd tattoos…dude, Watch List Time for Me if I get ink?

I seriously have to ask: What the Fuck? Seriously???

Last time I checked, this was the United States.  Freedom of Expression and Speech?  Freedom of Religion?  Personal Privacy a right?  It’s illegal to tap my dang phone without suspicion and a warrant, but I can be fuckin’ reported for the way I dress, what I smell like, having a scar and getting non-pretty girlie kinda angry ink?  Never mind I’ve never been in any gang in my life, never made a bomb, I do art and clean a lot so I always smell like a chem lab, happened to get burned, and like aggressive ink…this makes me and anyone like me a prospective terrorist?  Does this scream violation of personal freedoms and constitutionally insured rights to anyone else, or have I just been drinkin’ the libertarian cool-aid for too long?

Oh Fuck, I am also a Libertarian!  I am so screwed.

Now granted, pretty much any tattoo artist I know who is worth their salt would never rat out their clients, but still, this is insane.  Any dude who has ever been in prison is now a suspect.  As is anyone with a burn scar or missing limb.  Hell, how many war vets does this smack with “potential terrorist”?  How many people period does this make “sketchy” in the eyes of the almighty Fed?  And yeah its me and I am gonna say it, it kinda sounds like this move here is targeting well…white folk.  ALL gangs have tattoos they use, get together, all that, but I don’t see “be on the look out for MS-13 or Crip gang tattoos” in there anywhere, do you?  Hummm.    And hey, FBI, if you are reading this?  Most gang folk?  Of any sort?  Tend to have their ink done In House, and not at some Tattoo Parlor, and btw, a lot of tattoo parlors are-up until real recent-  Cash Only Businesses, you morons!

And the irony here is really thick to me.  I mean, this whole thing is coming about because the Fed is apparently afraid of neo-Nazi, right wing, home grown terrorism….so how do they go about “fixing it”?  By acting like right wing, home grown, somewhat Nazi-esque agents of the government?    I mean hell, back in WWII the Nazi’s made undesireables wear signs and tattoos to mark them as other and dangerous and slated for death.  Looks like we’re deciding that “by their ink you shall know them” is a good idea…wardrobe, scars, smell, attached limbs, and sense of comradery as well.

It makes me wanna puke.

I was only idly pondering getting that tattoo before.  Now its a definite.  And fuck them if they wanna call me and all the other people out there who are pretty much harmless to them terrorists for it.  This is Still the United States of America, whether they have forgotten that shit or not!



Burn Out

Posted: July 28, 2011 in Drugs & Rock n Roll, Humans, Pain, Personal, Rants

Well, shit y’all, if ya can’t just let it all hang out on yer own blog, then where can ya? 

Eh, I am gettin’ real crispy these days- ala my title there- tired as hell but sometimes wired as hell too- naturally- which is also kinda gettin’ to me.  I’ve been holding off on the back meds cause they destroy my stomach, but I had the serious desire to, oh, grind up and snort like six of ’em today (I resisted and succeeded in that resistance) not because the pain was so horrible, but because I am stressed out as fuck and at the same time bored out of my dang skull and seriously have just utterly overloaded on humans in so much that I really don’t actually wanna see too many of ’em at all these days.  Despite my ability to resist the dang pain killers that oh, sit on my desk daily and I really haven’t been taking because while my back hurts, I like what they do to my stomach even less…well,  I sure as heck wouldn’t mind my favorite illicit substance right now at all, I mean hell, if I ain’t gonna sleep, am gonna be sweating like nuts and grinding my teeth like crazy I might was well have a reason, and a reason I rather like a whole lot.   But yeah, complications there too, and am fuckin’ sick to death of complications of any and all kinds in my goddamn life.  Seems like I have had nothing but fuckin’ complications for the last three dang years of my life and while yeah, I have the occasional good day or not bad day- overall, I’ve had a real shitty run here and rather than getting older and wiser, I am getting older and colder.  Just getting spun out of my damn mind holds an almost irresistible appeal these days, cause frankly?  So much else simply doesn’t. 

I’m freakin’ tired.  And not just in a physical/mental lack of sleep way-but in all ways.  I am, simply put, right now?  Quite the Burn Out.  And yeah, sure enough, I still got some of those Little Things which usually help me in makin’ due, but even with me?  Sometimes little things just ain’t enough.  Hell, overall I even had a pretty decent day today.  Mellow hang out kinda day.  Got some sun, smoked some cigarettes, had some fun, nothing I really had to do cause shit that needed doing I did the day before- the kinda lazy, chill day most folk would call fair to midland- but in the overwhelming pile of suck, wreckage and bullshit I’ve been wading through for the last three years?  Even these mellow decent sorta days don’t do much to erase that whole older and colder, leaner and meaner feeling I got taking up residence in my soul.   And aside from today?  It’s been one of them weeks where the hits just keep comin’.  Had a friend of mine say he had to kick me outta his life cause well, I ain’t a good influence and he is trying to get his shit together- which hey, I get, and sure enough, the fella does need to get his dang shit together, and I am rooting for him to do so, and if cuttin’ me out helps in that, then hell yes, he should do it.  But, at the same time, one of those things that when yer not expecting it can hit you kinda strange.  Got smacked with a dang bill I sure as shit wasn’t expecting- and yeah, it can be handled but it means leaning down the lean already even more, and prolly parting with my comic collection cause well, parting with childish things in order to handle adult business is shit that sometimes you gotta do.  I gotta a couple folk I actually do like puttin’ me in situations or places where I gotta make damn hard choices and decisions cause how shit is -as is?  Makes me feel really off and uncomfortable and angsty and wrong – like not right in my own skin kinda levels of it- but I feel like I have had to do a lot of hard shit and already make a lot of hard calls and each time I do, well, damn, there’s another one.  And there is that older colder leaner and meaner part of me that just wants to say even to folk I like “fuck it, I’m done, I am gonna go get spun, and I don’t wanna hear shit about shit from anyone- just back off and leave me the fuck alone- better for everyone, really”…and I’d prolly be justified in doing so.  But I have put my fair share of hurt on various folks and done some pretty awful and shady shit myself, so I don’t know if I will listen to that older colder meaner and leaner part or not.  I prolly should, but hey, that part is one cold-blooded customer-even if it is usually right.

What I need is a goddamn vacation. From a shit ton of stuff, stress, strife, and society.  I need an actually good day, or a couple of ’em, where I ain’t gotta worry about anyone or anything other than me, and do right be me, and indulge me a little and not feel fucking guilty about it.  I need various folk to back the fuck off and realize nah, I ain’t always a rock and ffs, three years of shit, I’ve earned and deserve a goddamn break.  I have lost a lot. A ton of shit other fuckin’ people take for granted.  Sure, other folk certainly have it worse and harder, but I have done bled, in a whole lotta ways enough in the last few years, and I deserve to be freakin’ comfortable and content for a while.  I deserve to have some actually good days where I feel like I am grinnin’ and bein’ nice cause I actually want to and honestly feel that way inside, outside, and all over for real. 

Right now, in about a billion fuckin’ ways I am a Burn Out.  I need some time to scrape off the ash, by my rules and my way, cause that full-out older and colder meaner and leaner thing?  Not real pretty, and when that is the prevailing voice in my head?  Well, shit, no good comes of that, for anyone around me.  All this shit is itchy, and I deserve to feel comfortable in my own damn skin.

and ffs, if I am gonna grind my dang teeth this much and not sleep, I should so have a better and far more fun reason for doing so.

Liar Liar…

Posted: July 16, 2011 in Assholes, Morons, Rants, WTF???

So, the shit is still on going at Hugo’s, and while there is some deplorable shit all around, I am still just stunned that so many folk who are supporting the decision made by Jill and Hugo are plain out refusing to address/ignoring/ making no mention of the fact that, oh, look, huge fucking lie right there.  Deflect, Avoid, Ignore, Straw a flyin’, so on so forth, but humm, no real talk about the lying, except to defend it as ‘the upright thing to do’…

Uh, WTF?

See, I dunno how the rest of the world came up, but I was raised in a manner that dictated lying was wrong, and there was sure as shit the difference between a little white lie and a freakin’ whopper of a lie.  Telling yer friend nah, her ass don’t look fat in that to spare her feelings?  Okay, acceptable.  Not tellin’ some dude he might not be the father of the child he believes to be his?  Not fuckin’ okay.  BIG freakin’ difference there.  There are big important lies and little tiny lies and yep, sure enough, there is a difference. Tellin’ someone you love their new haircut when ya actually hate it is really not some huge impacting thing.  Tellin’ the same friend you got no idea what happened to her car when yer the one who actually stole it?  Uhhh…

And it is absolutely stunning me how many people are just fine and dandy a-ok with this kinda lie.  Floored and all that shit.  I’ll even admit that I kinda gotta a rep amid my friends for being brutally honest even when, er, my honesty is not actually wanted or appreciated…but I really don’t like lyin’.  (yeah, I am the one who will actually say, yes, yer ass looks fat in that- but if its the truth, its the truth- and if people actually care, well, then they deserve to know- I figure if they didn’t wanna know they wouldn’t ask!)  So yeah, this kinda huge epic lie being seen as okay- even if it may be in some manner….merciful…stuns me.  If folk will lie about shit like that, what else are they just totally comfortable lying about?  I mean folk who will lie about something that serious, well, I kinda figure they might also lie about if they have STD’s or not, drug habits, jobs, criminal records, and pretty much any and every other thing a potential Significant Other might wanna know and find relevant before agreeing to be in a relationship with ’em.

And yep, sure enough, the fact that feminists are supporting this  grimly amuses me.  If someone utterly disregarded a woman’s consent or choice like this- they’d be ready to hang some fuckers.  But hey, Ted’s a dude, right, so no harm no foul.  So much for freakin’ equality, right?  These are also the same folk who say if a man lies to a woman about anything serious that pertains to him (see the std, criminal record, so on, above) well then, heck, if he even sleeps with a woman with those lies in place, some of ’em will call it rape because she might not have consented to sex with him if she knew the truth…I guess once again, Ted, who is a dude, don’t get the same consideration.

Goddamn this shit is STILL sickening me and pissing me right the hell off.  It takes a lot to truly disgust me- but this has done it!

Okay, in the last couple days I have had folk ask/discuss with me/comment about how, well, I seem so angry and curse a lot and shit of that nature.  And yes, sometimes, it apparently is much like shooting myself in the foot, but you know, I am almost willing to bet, just from past history and previous experiences, that if I had been nice and sweet and mellow to Meghan on that thread…my questions and concerns still would have been ignored, talked around, not addressed, and remained hanging there unanswered.  Why?  Well this ain’t exactly my first time to this sorta dance, and in the past, even when nice as pie, well, no answers.  Deflection.  Galloping Goal Posts…and why yes, heaps and heaps of patronization and assumptions and other assorted foolery.   Would Meghan have been any different if I had not blown up at her?  I dunno.  Maybe, but I kinda think no because she has ignored the questions and comments and theories which are not in line with her own mode of thinking from people on that thread who were civil and polite to her, and well, it seems to be the typical nature of the beast, as it were.  These folk do not like to be challenged, regardless of civility, and thusly will not directly engage unless they have utter control over the spin, discourse and level of hostility-or are forced to, like in an actual debate setting, but even then the majority will tap dance like hell to keep you off their asses with actual fact and the views of people who actually work in the sex biz and do not just study it.  Simply put, they ignore being questioned by anyone who is not one of their own, and will do just about anything to not have to answer the hard questions.  Been there, done that, have all the notes & headaches.

So I then ask the folk who ask about me being angry and hostile? Well, why the hell wouldn’t I be?  You can only be dismissed, patronized, presumed about, lied about, distorted, and generally treated like shit by these sorts so many times before, well, you get angry.  Very Angry.  You can only hear the same dehumanizing, infantilizing, broken record bad reasearch bullshit before you say “fuck this, I am done being civilized with people who obviously think of me and people like me akin to crap”.   You can, in short, only take so much.  And I sorta wonder if the folk who are saying “you shouldn’t get so angry” would say that if it was THEM being treated like that, addressed like that, and why yes, condescended to like that all the damn time.  I wonder if they had to put up with this crap, 24/7, seven days a week, 365 days a year, for x amount of years, if they would dare question why I get so angry.  Let me tell y’all something, true beleivers….I LONG ago gave up on other people being willing to stand up for me or defend me or say hey, that anger of yours, it’s  justified.  You know who I can rely on to stand up for me and challenge this shit and not say “oh, don’t take it so serious” or “oh it’ not really that important” or “oh, you shouldn’t get angry about it’?


Me.  Yep, that’s right, just me.   So, do not tell me not to get fuckin’ angry….or try being dehumanized, patronized, condescended to, lied about, and all that other good fucking shit 24/7, seven days a week, 365 days a year for awhile….then come back and tell me why again that it shouldn’t piss me off.  I dare you. 

Anger isn’t necessarily bad, y’all.  It reminds you that you are in fact alive, and yep, serves and One Hell of a Motivator.

So yeah, I sacked the old joint cause I got sooo verrry tired of this shit, and I am not gonna make a habit of rehashing all that old shit yet again, but yep, time to reiterate some simple and plain as day fact.

A great many Anti-Porn Radical Feminists (not all, but enough) are so amazingly mind boggling in so many ways it is both infuriating and hilarious.  For instance, let us take a typical way many (not all) APRF’s come at engagement- not the marrying kind, but the debate/discourse kind:

1)  State their opinion as iron clad fact and set themselves up as authorities on the topic when their actual experience is lacking, much of their research is not original and drawn from seriously flawed studies, and broke no challenge to it.

2) Ignore all words, facts, statements from those who are also versed in the subject material but do not agree with their version, disregard testimony and input with those who do have hands on knowledge that does not line up with their world view. * some women are more equal than others

3) Engage in amazing amounts of dealing in double standards:  they are allowed to be rude, patronizing, dismissive, presumptive, and hostile, but then… WHY YES….whine like spoiled little school girls when treated in a manner which is less than stellar by those whom they have treated like garbage.  *some women are more equal than others

4) WHEN asked questions about their methods, research, stances, plans, or any other such thing, they do not EVER answer directly, refuse to answer, OR, if hostility is in the air- UTTERLY IGNORE the topic or questions of interest in order to, why YES, whine like spoiled little school girls about how badly they have been treated by those mean nasty people whom they treated like garbage first. *some women are more equal than others!

5) When PRESSED to actually engage and defend their Precious Precious points and “facts” and stances, they basically stick their fingers in their ears and scream “I don’t have to defend my VISIONARY AWESOMENESS from you!  I am smarter and better than you, and I know the really real truth and you don’t, oh yeah, and you were meaaaaannnn to me!  WAAAAAA!

Smirk, fuckin hell y’all, and these people are gonna bring down the Patriarchy and Change The World?  For real?  If they are this freakin’ pathetic when faced with ONE angry, caustic 5’2″ 100 pound woman, I seriously wonder what the hell they would ever do facing down a whole slew of men, with guns, money and power?  Oh yeah, I know….run screaming like a bunch of spoiled school girls. 

I mean, come on, okay, I know- I am mean, caustic, sarcastic, blah blah blah blah.  Horrible of me, I know…but for real, not once, even when I AM being nice, have I ever gotten a simple straight answer about ANY fucking thing that challenges or pokes holes in their precious theory.  NOT ONCE.  I mean come on, basic shit here, REALLY EASY questions, and if they are so sure they are right? Why the whining, deflection and terror?

-what is the plan for ending the sex biz?

-any idea how the results of the research you love to quote comes about?

this is NOT astrophysics here, really.  Man I love me some anointed by the moon goddess untouchable, unquestionable, apparently sacred and holy rad fem theory which is above all challenge and debate and is unfit for the eyes or consumption or reading of by us unwashed masses who are so in need of saving from everything and everyone- including ourselves.  THAT must be it…the Devine Theory is Above Sullied Mortal Scrutiny….

Either that, or they know caustic mean oh so horrible scary people like me could blast that shit apart faster than Jesse James with an Uzi.


I guess theory number two….and don’t forget, with this lot, some women are OBVIOUSLY more equal than others, and being treated with respect when treating others like garbage is only for The Special Keepers of the Theory…and if you DARE not heed this law….expect whining, bullshit, distortion and lies.  Pfft, and these women wonder why so many people give ’em shit?  Hell, ya reap what ya sew and all that.  Come to think of it….they have a lot of shit in common with Cults, really.

Opps, there I go doing that horrible mean venting again.  Shame on me!