Archive for the ‘In The Neck’ Category

Today was THE LAST DAY of shots in the neck for me.  Almost three years of shots once a month, other shit, and a surgery later…I am done.  Good as its gonna get, and you know what?  That is damn fine enough for me.  And I gotta say, through it all, my neck doc was awesome.  She’s one of the ones that helps me keep some faith in the medical profession.  (and before the jackass known as duh4brains lives up to their net handle again…don’t say shit about shit, chief, and why yes, she was happy to take in hand and not faxed notorized referrals!)

In any event, this is good news. Neck done, back to go!

But ya know, just not feelin’ it at the moment.  SO yesterdays medical shit:  The MRI was a total cake walk.  It’s not all that difficult to lay still for 20 minutes and ignore the loud clanging when you have earphones blasting classic rock on.  Needles in the neck, however, was…special.  See, my doc, she does real good work- for awhile there, I did not feel the shots at all because my scars were all thick and twisted and full of …well, no nerves I guess.  Not so anymore, they are flat and while still scars…baby butt smooth…which means, I can totally feel the shots again.  She did about 8 yesterday, felt 4 or so very nominally, the other 4?  Yeah, totally aware of the fact she was shoving a dang needle into my neck…and boy, do those fuckers BLEED (I learned Looooong ago to wear black shirts to needle in the neck appointments).  So, yeah, today I kinda look like someone punched me in the throat-bruises and all.

Today is also not a good back day.  Well, in truth, with the back, I have some days are worse than others says…today is a worse than others day.  However, when I have those days, I tend to setup shop on my couch in front of the TV, and, well, as I was of the same mind yesterday and since it is finally on the Netflix insta watch thingy, I am deep, deep, deep into season one of “Sons of Anarchy”….and can I tell you how much I am loving this show?  Oh my, I am loving this show…

   And yes, I even hear you now… “But Ren, how in the hell did you, of all people, not manage to catch Sons of Anarchy prior to now?”  Answer is…well, you know, when I watch TV, I really am sorta a Discovery Channel/History Channel kinda gal.  And well, South Park.  I’d wanted to watch SOA, but never managed to get in front of the TV on the right night at the right time or have my DVR ready to go, and even when I had a ton of people who know me in RL saying “Dammit Ren, you gotta watch SOA, this show screams You!”  I just never managed to get it pegged down.   By the time I did it was about half way through season 2 and I’d  missed so much I felt kinda lost.  So I figured Net Flix (but I had ordered and just finished watching Rome & MASH, and I don’t like to have too much stuff out at once), and then yesterday, low and behold, seasons one and two in the new arrivals on the instant TV stuff.  Score!  So yes, finally getting my SOA watching in…and my RL friends are right:  Thus far, I love this freakin’ show, and I gotta say, Katie Segal is flat out awesome in it…perfect casting right there. 

So, I am afraid posts of actual substance willbe sidetracked by a bad back and Sons of Anarchy.

Have I mentioned how much I am loving this show?

or at least its starting off that way…never can tell how these things will go…

So, here in about, oh, five hours or so, I shall begin my day of Doctor Madness.  Nine am is the appointed hour for the next installment of needles in my neck scars, then long about 11:30, it will be MRI time.  I’ve never had an MRI.  A lot of folk are freaking out because I am not freaking out.  I seriously cannot imagine it is that bad.  I mean, come on, I have been set on fire….shit’s gotta be pretty horrible to rate as scary for me nowadays.  I guess I can let ya know how it goes after it goes, yeah? 

I realize I still owe y’all a post on the Super Main Difference between a Harm Reduction and an Abolition Stance…and I will prolly get to it this weekend.  Heck, I might even knock out some more tweeker humor and that epic thesis on sexism in gaming..

But before I head out for now, I gotta ask…

Y’all have heard about the Government Shut Down Right?  If not, and for my non-American readers…well, yeah, they are prolly gonna shut down the Government.  Gov. employees will not be working, folk won’t be gettin’ paid (including Active Duty Military personel…WTF???  SERIOUSLY?!??!) and pretty much all other non-essential personel- oh, and essential personel….they will still be working- but may not be getting PAID for it…until, well, later…whenever… and you wanna know what chaps my ass about THIS shit????

Fucking Congress, who, oh, utterly FAILED to set out a budget at ALL last year?  Those dickweeds?  THEY ARE STILL GETTING PAID….now really, ask me who deserves their paycheck more?  Some fucking politician, or some person with a significant other and kids to feed who is over in Iraq right now, you know, in a war?  Tough call there, eh?  I feel like since freakin’ congress were the ones who screwed the pooch and did not do their fucking jobs and make a budget, they are the assholes who shouldn’t get paid.   And I wanna kick the shit out of the morons who are trying to drag all their political agendas into all this shit when, oh, the people who inspect our meat, or defend our country, or oh, run our historical landmarks, national museums and parks, and oh, actually keep shit running are getting sent home and not paid…or still working and not getting paid.   Such a load of horsehit really, complete with flies.

Ah yes, needles in the neck day.  Twelve was the grand  total this time.  And sure enough, what with the scars having scars and all, it does not hurt- not even a little.  I feel pressure, kind of a pinch like feeling, but no pain…I could actually probably sleep through it  (in fact, almost dozed off today, really).

But damn if those fuckers don’t bleed like crazy.  I am glad I wore a dark shirt, and glad the doc is fast with the thick gauze y’all. 

That said, blood loss totally beats pain any day of the week IMHO.

So, went to my doc on  Friday…



This is the part where, internally, I plead…oh ffs, just fucking cut me open again!  KNIVES before NEEDLES, PLEASE…

but no…seems, no surgery to make things as right as they are ever gonna get without needles first…gotta soften up all that fucking tissue before slicing into it again…

Okay, I get it, I  know I am a hard person….but shit, couldn’t my neck buck the damn system???

Good thing I am used to the magic stabby game…and guess what?  This time?  NO pain killers!!!!

Greetings from FL

Posted: March 31, 2010 in In The Neck, Personal

  So yeah, I am the proud owner of, IMHO, the coolest scar EVER.  And it is promised it will probably actually get even COOLER.  I don’t mind scars, which is probably a really good thing…heck, I kinda like them.  Road map of the life and all…

Florida (aka, a Sunny Place for Shady People, aka, “America’s Wang”) is the same as it ever was.  The winter kill freezes have taken a bit of a toll and it is colder here than it usually is this time of year, but still the same old strange, weird, awesome, mellow and crazy state it has always been.  I never really learned to appreciate the place until I moved away.    I think the plan is to hit Sea World (again) tomorrow.  I generally shy away from the tourist stuff, but so long as it isn’t Disney, I can choke it down I guess.

Right now,  I think I am gonna have myself some Jack and watch Smokin’ Aces II: Assassins Ball-  it’s that kind of night  🙂

Quite a Character…

Posted: March 20, 2010 in Humans, In The Neck, Personal

 So, yeah, here I am, a week + a little since my surgery.  What, with the goggles (thanks Vlad!), hair that hasn’t been washed since…er…the surgery (stitches gotta stay dry and all), smirk, and scars that literally now have…er…scars, I figure I gotta be a real eye sore unless you’re, ahem, into that whole Tremor Brother thing…hell, I feel a bit like I escaped from one of my own stories, actually….though I might require more ink to pull that shit off…heh.

But you know, for a gal with disturbingly greasy hair and a seven inch gash in her neck, I feel pretty good.  Shit, I’ve been attempting to be civil and make reasonable with some folk I would generally just go ballistic on.  Despite the fact that I am itchy as hell, glaring down the Moon Hut of the She-Wolf sister, and dealing with other various pressure causing crap, I am, in general, in a pretty decent mood.  Normally I would say it’s the pain killers, but I really have not been taking a ton of those- certainly not enough to make me I drank the kool-aid happy anyway. 

So I am kind of wondering what it is.  I mean, not that I’m complaining, but its… weird.  It’s a very different state from normal for me.  I mean yeah, sure, I still get angry and ranty and snide and ponder doing horrible things to people with automatic weapons…but it’s not been my default setting here lately.   I’ve been surprisingly…serene.  Yeah, that’s a good word: serene.   Hell, I don’t expect it to last, I rarely expect anything good to, but yeah, I’m kinda enjoying it.

And of course, with the mellow comes the pondering and all…

Blog title post…how many of you have heard that expression?  “S/He’s quite a character?”  You ever note that it’s usually not a compliment?  I mean, there can be a good spin to it; that person is funny, or entertaining, or what have ya, but usually there is also the implication that said person is also an asshole, or not real in some way, or is, well, off?    Heh, well, I’ve heard that expression a lot in my day.  It was one of those things teachers would write in my year books and shit…usually number two right behind what “an interesting” person I was.   And well, I am an asshole, but still…  you know, I actually spent parts of my life trying to tone shit down and be like other people-  talk about a depressing and soul killing experience.  It honestly irks me that we as a society encourage that shit.   I mean, at least when I go out with my gross hair and goggles and scars upon scars and shit, I know who the fuck I am.   I can look in a mirror at all that shit and grin.  I can not care that I don’t have the perfect this season hair cut or perfect skirt and sweater combination and the perfect make up and nice skin and straight teeth and all that shit.  I mean, in a world of that?  Hell yes, fuck it is better to be a character…and I look way cooler with a chainsaw! 

And sure, people look at me funny…but you know, I could be dressed in LL Bean and as soon as I opened my mouth people would look at me funny anyway.  I look around at people I know- people my age- and part of me thinks “When did you all die?  When did you become every single thing you hated?  When did you give up each and every one of your dreams just to fit in and be normal and accepted…when did the fucking Body Snatchers come for you?”   If that shit makes me a character, then damn, I’ll see you in cartoons, you know?

I realize as one gets older, life changes, people change, things have to be done differently.  It happens to all of us in one way or another- what I do not get is trashing everything to be…just like everyone else.

That scares the hell out of me.    I’ll take the greasy hair, goggles and scars, please…even if it does keep me out of all the nice parties.

A Time for Great Celebration!

Posted: March 15, 2010 in In The Neck

The Shunt is Gone!!!!

Life without an annoying tube in one’s neck is so much nicer!


Stitches and such will remain until next monday or so, but who cares? The shunt is gone!

Phreak is contemplative for me, since, well, I cannot move my head and stuff.

So the random Monday Mornin’ bits…

In the Typical File:  Radical Feminists get pissy and hostile when those lousy fuckin’ sex workers dare to speak for themselves and have opinions of their own and get testy with erronous universals.  How the fuck dare they expect to be seen as human beings worthy of the same basic respect and consideration as other people?  Stupid whores.  I find it fuckin’ funny when this squid mentions dignity considering her own apparent sadism and arrogance.  Then again, I gotta a grim sense of humor.  So yeah, Other Sex Worker types who read here? -Jill, Aspasia, Hexy, so on- just remember- you do not exist and your own take on your own life and what not mean jack and shit, because the Rad Fems say so, and they are just sooo smart and all!

In the Life as it is File:  Had fun Saturday evening hanging out with some friends, eating, drinking, listening to music and otherwise being mellow and merry.  It was pretty keen.  Sorta an all gals and one guy hang out night in my basement- where fruity adult beverages were consumed by everyone but me (I avoided pain killers and drank beer instead) and snacks were had.  Not a bad way to spend an evening in that mellow kinda way.

In the Neck:  Should all go according to plan, this infernal shunt will be removed tomorrow and there will be much rejoycing throughout the land.  I am pretty much done with having this thing hangin’ out of my neck.   Oh, and the whole deal?  Still not all that painful, but still itchy as hell. 

In Gamer Geek Wonderfulness:  Levelled Rictor this eve, he is gettin’ closer and closer to 50.  Woot.  I really do like playing him- prolly one of my favorite characters, and certainly in my top three favorite villains.

Other bits: I have done a ton of laundry in the last few days…amazing how much laundry humans rack up I swear.   Some interesting thoughts about skater Johnny Weir.

I have watched a whole lotta southpark in the last few days…being from CO adds a whole level of funny to that show.
time to do some fiction writing.

* EDIT  :  It would seem the person I got all pissy with about sex work is a former sex worker herself…which is to say this is me saying wow I fucked that shit up and she is owed an appology for my assumption she had never done the job.  I was wrong, she has, and thus, well yeah, I was wrong.  I still do not like universal terms, but I never will.

Neck Update

Posted: March 12, 2010 in In The Neck

Okay, aside from this whole damn thing being itchy as hell-  the collar is itchy, the shunt is itchy, the bandages are itchy, the medical tape is itchy, the sutures are itchy-  I am, sans painkillers even…in surprisingly little pain…

Except for where this fucking shunt tube is SEWN into my goddamn neck.  Which is no longer draining.  There is apparently nothing left in there to drain out…yet the tube will still be in til monday.