Archive for the ‘Humans’ Category

It works in reverse too…

Posted: December 5, 2012 in Art, Assholes, Humans, Television

So, yes then…

I watch a great deal of tv, even Spike.  A show I watch on Spike is “Ink Master”, for while I dislike Dave Navaro as a person, I like the art, I like tattoos, so on.  Well, tonite, they sent home one of the most solid, consistent, and IMHO, top contender artists, Jamie D.  Why, in part, do I think they sent Jamie D home?

Well, while he has been tattooing for 17 years….he has no tattoos.  And dresses really straight.



That there is Jamie D.  He looks more like a lawyer, yeah?  Maybe an accountant?  This eve, before sending him packing, the judges ripped on him for NOT having ink.  I even get the “never trust a skinny chef” har har thing, but…

Really?  People who have ink get judged all the time, and there they are judging him for NOT having any, despite him being a very, very talented dude.  He even stated yes, he wants tattoos, but is very picky and is waiting for the RIGHT design and the right ARTIST, and faulting him for that?  REALLY?  The man can do some killer tattoos.  Sending him home?  Yeah, I think part of the reason was?

His inkless skin.  And that ain’t right.  So yeah, that shit, it works in reverse.


T-DAY Apocalypse!

Posted: November 22, 2012 in Humans, Personal, Uncategorized

I do it every year, even if I think its a stupid holiday.  I do it because regardless, I get my friends and fam over here, we eat, drink, are merry….last year I had lost a bet and was supposed to wear a skirt, so being me, I cooked and served in combat boots, an army spec. ops sweater, and…a kilt.  My hair looked amazing thou, very Law and Order.    For me, it is about good friends, family, food, football, and well, enjoyment.  All other shit aside.  I cook, the men clean  :).

But I DO like to think about what I am thankful for, and ya know, I have some things.  Infernal Spine aside, I am healthy.  For the most part, more than many.  I HAVE good friends, and an AMAZING family.  I am thankful for my artistic abilities, and the roof over my head, and my mean streak.  I am thankful I love music and love to be thankful that my parents introduced me to everything from MoTown to Country Western.  I am thankful Chicago Exists, same goes for West VA.

I EVEN took the chainsaw outta my kitchen this year….

I liked this post.

Posted: April 10, 2012 in Blogging, Humans

Hugo has a post up about how he has dealt with if not his full out personality disorder, personality flaw.  I found it interesting cause well, a lot of folk I know, myself included, deal with similar things on a daily basis and while all of us might have different “quirks” going on and different ways of dealing with them (some good ways, some not so good), it is something we deal with pretty much daily in order to function, and heck, better than function-be a part of- like for real- the rest of the world around us.  Which can honestly be on some days a full time job.  Now, I say this as an antisocial type.  That was my big ping on that cluster Hugo was talkin’ about over there, the antisocial one.  And yep, if ya go and look that one up to see what it is, aside from the oh, hurting animals thing I do run the checklist there-or have at some point in my life, often.  I have mellowed some with age-as can happen with Antisocial types (less hormones, less angst, less…energy) there is the simple fact that kinda like Hugo talks about there…I have a different kind of thought process and have to do things differently than most folk in order to even interact reasonably normally with most folk.  Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I sorta succeed, sometimes I fail miserably, but yeah, there is process that invovles the rearranging how one would “naturally” go about doing things, and there is also a line you gotta keep so you don’t beat yerself up endlessly (or beat up other people endlessly) and realize that even if you aren’t “normal”, well, you are a person who deserves some good and happy and whatnot just like other people- and wanting that isn’t bad.

What I tend to struggle the most with is assuming that folk who seem like me or whatnot are actually like me.  It’s odd, when I meet folk who seem or present very similar to me, I have a habit of thinking hey, they get it, they are like me, so, yeah, we’re on the same page and get shit the same and at first that seems…freakin’ awesome.  That someone has the same shit goin’ on and has to do the same things wrt to other people and sorta has the same view of the world as me and look, with this person I don’t have to do all the stuff I gotta do with other people….and then I find out I am wrong.  Totally.  Which is always a huge, huge mess.  It’s happened with me a few times, and thusly, I now have to add to my to do list “never assume regardless and always do all that shit in your head you need to do”…which is like a big check list really and a forced rewiring of how your process shit…but hey, it’s what I gotta do in order to be a part of the world rather than want to burn it to the ground.

Damn, am I cheerful or what?

In any event, I liked Hugo’s post and think it took balls to write it as there are a lot of folk out there who look for reasons to go after him and shit to go after him with.

i post a lot with music…but here is a band I admit to liking, so sue me…had some life shit as of this week that made me realize TODAY, is the FIRST DAY, of the rest of my life, and I kinda like the weather….

Enjoy, even if you don’t really like the band/music, grok the message! (yes I know there is a 1985 version by sly fox, which I also like, but…this one is..angrier)

Posted: February 14, 2012 in Humans, Personal

And if the fires burn out there’s only fire to blame!




Posted: January 9, 2012 in Blogging, Humans

So, I’ve been neglecting blog world here lately, due to everything from illness to meh, other shit to do, NFL, guns, blah blah blah….and cause it is Netganistan, you KNOW as soon as you leave shit will blow right the fuck up…

and so it has again, and so I been catching up, and it’s interesting because three people I got right here on my own blog roll are well, from engraged at/to less than thrilled/ to WTF with eachother.  Gin, Hugo, and Joan.  And I feel like I should say some shit, just cause…

I got all three of em on my blog roll for a reason.  I never agree with any one of em 100%, and never disagree with any one of em 100%.  Gin is the only one I know in RL, but I have talked to both Joan and Hugo, and promised Joan I would drag my gun nut self out to CA to scare her family for her one day…(long story).  But this recent blow up has me thinking about a lot of shit….

Wierd shit.  Very, very wierd shit.  And things like “privilege” and violence and crap o’ that nature.  Now, see, Joan here just knocked my dang boots off with being, IMHO, very brave…and saying some real truth.  I sort of feel like, as a person who has oh, had violence and hurt done to me, but also handed out my own fair share of that shit, it is never on the person who dished it out to say when things might be Okay or Forgiven.  One can come to  terms with themself and the wrongs they have done….but anything else?  That has to be given.  That is not something an aggressor can just give to themself and say “its okay, I changed, it’s all better now.”  Because nothing is EVER ALL BETTER, and only the wronged party can decide when its “okay” and things are…well, good enough.   And therein lies the difference between folk like me, I guess, and say, Hugo.  I don’t hate Hugo, not at all.  Not in the least.  But…well, as a person who has done some shady shit myself, sober and not, emotional harm and physical violence and all that crap…well, I can and have come to terms with my own shit, and I can live with who and what I am and what I have done…but it ain’t all good, and no one has to forgive me for it, and I sure as shit am in no position to ask them too, nor act like things are all okay and dandy because you know what?  Straight up, I fucked wth some other folk and sure enough, they are human and it hurts and affects them and that is not just…okay..or excusable…even with excuses (I was drunk, tweaking, sleep deprived, I’m an anti-social, blah blah blah blah…SO WHAT?) Can I live with the fact that I can be a real piece of work and have certainly done others wrong-without sugar coating it?  Yep.  Do I think that’s okay or that those folk I have wronged should forgive me because well, I’ve evolvoed or changed or would prolly not do the same shit unto them again?  Fuck No.  And that’s not now nor will it ever be my call to make.

And I also gotta say, when I feel I have been wronged, or treated unfairly… hell, Gin and Joan could attest to this…I tend to, oh snap back.  And go for the kidney shot.  I am, by nature, when I feel hurt or wronged, mean.  But…I am quick to forgive.  Forget?  Never, hell, I am a Scorpio- we never forget, but forgive, yeah…which is good, or chances are…well, I wouldnt KNOW people like Gin and Joan- but you know what?  Only Gin and I could agree to bury our hatchet and love on the Zombies, and only Joan and I could agree to let shit slide and be friends….No one else, not anyone from “my side” who may have hurt them, or “their side” who may have hurt me could make those decisions for us.  And hell, we all took some shit for doing so…and apparently we call all live with that- but it was our decision, as mutally aggressive folk and mutally hurt folk…to make.

No one else could do that- just us.

One can learn to live with bad shit they’ve done….but no one can do the forgiving except the wronged party.  And to me, that just seems like common basic knowledge.

*as for the privilege thing…I can tell ya, I have pulled some shit that well, if I wasn’t a short white gal?  It sure as shit woulda landed my ass in a jail cell!  And yep, I absolutely recognize that!


**and Gin, I forgive you for not liking Tebow, but I am still gonna wear my Tebow Jersey!

Why don’t you ever dress up?

Posted: December 16, 2011 in Humans, Personal

Or, more specifically, why doncha ever dress…girlie?

Okay, sure enough, I don’t as a general rule.  I don’t were skirts often, dresses hardly ever, make up too much, so on, so forth.  I like being comfortable; and IMHO comfortable generally means cargo pants/bdu’s, tank tops, sweat shirt over said tank top in winter, boots, comfortable thick socks, and the kinda underwear you find in sporting goods.  That’s comfortable.  Girlie stuff?  Not so much.  And I do get razzed about it…from people actually making my end of a loosing bet to dressing “like a girl” to folk saying on special occassions it would mean a lot to them if I busted out with the girl-ness to even actually daring me to do it…

…and this is not even to say I do not have some nice- yet not overtly girlie clothes, because I do.  I have what one might call ‘business casual’ attire- slacks, button down shirts, flat shoes- and I have been known, when it is necessary, to wear them.  But still, I get the girlie requests.  Well see, last eve, I had reason to dress nice, and girlie even.  I got a last minute free ticket to go see a concert at the Kennedy Center…which to me screams “dress up, it’s the freakin’ Kennedy Center!”  So I did.  I put on the one winter sorta dress I have, hose, heels, did my hair, put on makeup, girlie underwear, the whole deal…and I prolly even looked nice.

And I was as uncomfortable as hell the whole time.  Clue here:  Pantyhose are NOT comfortable.  To me, full make up is NOT comfortable- it feels itchy and heavy on my face- and I even use pretty expensive makeup.  Mascara flips my shit out, as does lipstick (I feel like I have jelly on my lips).  My hair is LONG, for me to do anything  with it?  It takes an hour.  Heels hurt my feet and at this point, not so good for my back.  Underwire bra’s suck.  Lacey other underthings itch.  Dresses?  Even winter ones?  A little drafty in winter.  AND I was way more dressed up than anyone else there, cept maybe the musicians…

And I was uncomfortable, so much so, it kinda detracted from enjoying the concert…and when I got home, I flew into the house, scrubbed my face…twice…brushed out my hair and pulled it up, peeled off all that girlie wow why dont you ever wear shit faster than light and immediately jumped into my usual comfortable clothes and was…happy.

That’s why I don’t dress up or get girlie.  It SUCKS.  Its uncomfortable, and its Not Me.  It may look nice, but it feels bad….and also, you know, as an ex-stripper, I have HAD my fill of HAVING to wear make up, high heels, and sexy underwear in my life, thanks.  It was manditory working attire for me for long enough, and I am offically Off Duty.

Are there gonna be times when I HAVE to do it? Probably.  Other than those?  I am not of the mind to ever do it again…so people need to stop askin’!

nah, it ain’t another dog poo post….

Okay, so Hugo writes something over at Good Man Project.  Ren reads  (I can read you know! I can also annoyingly refer to myself in the third person!)  I think he kinda over does it, cause frankly, I’ve never found someone saying “hey” to me on the street- even if they are male- akin to a rape threat or harassment, but I’ve never been raped.  Some fella following me for a block being creepy?  Totally different…but you know, that’s not a daily occurrence, saying “hello” is.  Anyway, discussion ensues, some of it laughable, and since I went to bed early then woke up like two hours later and wasn’t able to fall back asleep, I laughed…

But yeah, I then prolly stepped in it in the comments too because I apparently failed PC101.  I just can’t help myself sometimes, it happens.  But see, I am sorta of the mind that if someone has been harmed in some way by a person who is in some way other, be it a woman who was raped by a man or a person who was mugged or otherwise harmed by a person of another race….its natural to assume for awhile, they just might be paranoid/afraid of/ made nervous by…well, folk similar to the person who harmed them, even if those similar folk had nothing to do with it.  I think that is something that logic and rationale aside happens.  Fear is a powerful and fucked up thing…and assuming it only applies in some cases, like a woman being afraid, ect., around or of men, plural, after being assaulted by one of them is just…asinine.

For instance, and I will admit it outright, once upon a time I was physically assaulted by a male person who was a different race than me.  Not sexually, not even very successfully, but yeah, assaulted.  And there for awhile afterwards, because the incident was scary for me, well, folk who looked like/reminded me of this guy made me nervous and I was afraid of/cautious around them.  Was that their fault?  Hell no, they weren’t the guy!  But still…its how it was for me for a while after the incident.  That knee jerk fear of folk who reminded me of that guy went away, but gee, you know, I did have it there for a bit.

Was it wrong of me to feel like that? Well, logically and rationally, it prolly was…after all, I was reacting oddly/paranoid of folk who had done nothing to me for reasons as simple and beyond their control as a resemblance to someone who had wronged me.  But fear and such are not logical, rational things….and saying in some cases (woman who was raped by man) its okay and justified and in other cases (person mugged/harmed by person of another race) it isn’t…

Well, I call bullshit…PC or not.

Guess I need to go clean my boots.


Posted: November 23, 2011 in Humans

What, fuck it, I am on a tear here, don’t like it, ya can go away….

So, I was thinking, which is both good and bad for me and all, and after my last angry white girl post, I was pondering something….

What if all the folk who are pissed off and mad about it- who have been shit on, devalued, disinfrancised, fucked over, so on, put aside all their considerable differences (and there are a lot of them) and were like “Hey, douchebags, you fucked ALL of us, and we’re done…” and I don’t mean like settin’ up shop in some OWS tent city protestor kinda way, but in a “fuck you, I ain’t payin’ taxes I ain’t haulin’ yer garbage I ain’t doin’ shit all for YOU until you do for US for a change.  You wanna throw my ass in jail for not paying outlandish debt forced on me, fine.   You wanna take/outsource/pay me shit for my job, fine.  You wanna fuck with me, fine….I’ll fuck ya right back…” 

I had like this amazing vision of all the people who have been fucked; all colors, all genders, all kinds of people who’ve been screwed by rich folk saying “ive had it” , and well, it was kinda cool.  Very cool really.  I mean think on it…all those pissed off Americans of All Kinds who have been fucked saying “We’re done laying down” and actually standing up.  Hell, imagine what would happen if every person on the lower end of the class scale, all colors and such, oh, didn’t show up to work for a few days….WE’RE not grad students….we’re factory people, and in food service, we haul garbage and fix cars and work in stores and warehouses and oh, shit like that.  We’re secretaries and janitors and people NO ONE fucking notices until we’re not there.  The rich have the money here, its the lower classes who actually do ALL the hard work.  Heh, imagine executives with no coffee from their local shop, no clean floors and no one to take their damn calls…or haul their garbage, cart their kids to school, or do their dry cleaning.  Or, what if we all showed up in front of the White House some weekend.  Or decided hey, if you are gonna fuck us when we work legit jobs, we go not legit…hell, I bet I could rig up a still real easy.  Imagine if the whole lot of us said “nah, none of the political candidates you are offering us are gonna work- after all, they are all rich people who are bought and paid for, we want something NEW”.  What if we all decided to NOT pay taxes?  What if we said, sorry, we won’t buy your movies, your phones, your software, your games, your books, anything YOU make other than the food and clothes we NEED.  What if….

What if we were all pissed off enough to actually stand together- in the NUMBERS we WOULD have- to make the Money Listen.  Not by beating drums and screaming slogans, but by…dare I say…force.  Force of needed labor. Force of lost monies, force of political distrust and disinterest. Force of…numbers.

Damn.  Could be a helluva thing.  Imagine every pissed off and pissed on Black Person, White Person,  Native American Person, Hispanic Person, Asian Person, Male and Female Persons….hell ALL people who have been screwed, pullin THAT kinda shit, in NUMBERS…

Damn.  OWS would have NOTHING on that shit.

Hey, a hick can dream….

First off, I survived my 40th birthday insanity and came out the other side with only a few bruises and minor flesh wounds…and a hangover.  It was one heck of a time and a whole lotta fun, and well, I looked upon it and found it good, except the hangover.  Those are never good.  But celebration time is now over and once again, I shall now press my crooked nose to the grindstone and make good on my promise to say shit some people are thinking and don’t wanna say and others sure as shit don’t wanna hear….so let’s get back to that elephant, I reckon its about time…

I’ve discussed the Elephant in the Room before, overview and prologue style.  But hey, I like to dig, I’m a digger.  I gnaw on things, digest, consider, and dig some more.  And as I have been doing that, mentally feasting and such, I reckon it is now time; time to do the unthinkable, something real unpopular, but something that needs doing.  It’s a double fuck for certain, but I’m gonna do it anyway.  It’s time for not only a history lesson, but some defense of white folk…especially and including…white dudes.

Oh shit, now I’ve gone and done it, yeah?   Oh well, what else is new?

Now, I have talked before about how there is still one group of people it is socially acceptable to make fun of, a group that is mocked and belittled in a way that well, if one were to mock or belittle other groups of people in such a fashion it would kill their careers and they’d be persona non-gratis pretty much anywhere for a long time.  I mean, if Gene Weingarten had said something similar about Hispanic, black, Chinese, Iranian or any other sort of folk…what do you honestly think the reaction would be?  If he’d made it a “humorous jibe” about someone defending their opium den and Cantonese fried cat or low riders and burritos or crack house and chicken or gold coins and matzoh balls or any other countless insulting cultural stereotypes…do you think he’d still be a popular unsanctioned writer and humorist for the Washington Post?  Really?  Seriously? For some reason I suspect otherwise.  I really do.  Folk who have done such have paid for the crime, because its not okay to do that…unless you do it to certain kinds of white folk…and Weingarten proves just how okay it is.  Which burns my biscuits, actually.  Why, you might ask?  Well…

Let’s talk some history first, shall we?  I am a fan after all.  History can be very informative, interesting, scary, and well, it is the story of humans.  However, it is the story of humans as written by the winners and in truth, for the most part…rich white dudes.   Not all white dudes…rich white dudes.  And being mad at rich white dudes?  I’m okay with that.  They have- historically and all- proven themselves to be greedy douchebags who will use, abuse, and sell out folk- of all races, colors, and genders- if it will earn ’em a buck.   This has been historically proven even!  And while rich white dudes do have a tendancy to try to control and regulate everything, from cash flow to the info that makes it down to us plebians, they don’t always succeed.  So yeah, lets get on with that, shall we?

As everyone here knows I should hope, the US engaged in slavery.  We all know that.  We also know that colonists did absolutely horrible things to the Native Americans/First People of North America; everything from land theft to mass murder.   But, as I sit here, in history mode and all, I want y’all to consider your own roots.  Are ya Irish?  Or Scottish? Or English? Or German?  Or Slavic of any sort?  Then chances are, when your people arrived here on a boat, if they did so before oh, 1865 or so, chances are they did not necessarily do so by choice.  They were probably coerced to come here, or did so as indentured servants, or to work other (rich, white) peoples land, or fight in wars, or as convicts (oddly enough, England sent convicts here prior to the Revolutionary War, then they turned to Australia) or in countless other ways that hardly count as bold and noble endeavors.   Much like a great many of the non-white folk who got screwed by rich white folk, tons of white folk were also screwed: lied to, abducted, abused, tortured, killed, owned, and otherwise fucked over…and they may very well be your ancestors.  If you read up on the ships who brought non-rich white folk over here, or the lives they lived, or how they were treated, worked, abused and screwed, you might see some similarities- many, many, many similarities- to how the non-white folk were treated.  Terminology was sometimes different, sometimes the same…but to me, an Irish indentured servant shipped over to the new world by Cromwell who ended up being sold and worked to death in a field is really not so different from anyone else who ended up in a similar situation.

Fascinated by this notion,  I myself did some digging into my own family tree, and while my direct people only got here recently- pre WWII/post WWII and all- I did find some interesting shit…it seems a whole bunch of my dad’s side of the family (the Russian side) were hung for stealing horses, and those who weren’t were tossed outta Russia…they eventually made it to America…where a bunch of ’em were hung in Colorado/ Wyoming/ Utah…for stealing horses (apparently my people had a one track minds and never learned nothing at the end of a rope!).  Many of my Mom’s side of the family left economic destitution in North England and ended up in Louisiana and Georgia… during the Civil War.  They did not travel for free.  I found all this very interesting, and wondered just how many other white folk like me…well, how did their families get here?  Surely they were not all rich land owners, blue-bloods, people who owned other people…and sure enough, I bet you a pair of snake skin boots that a great many of us?  Well, your ancestors or family relations made it here to the New World just like some of my people did; as convicts or labor or kicked out of their own countries- kidnapped or lied to or led on- bought, sold, owned, worked hard and treated poorly.   And you know what?  None of us got acres or mules either.  In fact?  Those folk sorta got fucked.  After all, rich folk have been fucking not rich folk- of all colors- since feudal times…and they still are.

History lesson done.  But History lesson in mind…how the hell is it okay to think that every white person in the US is the same, starting from the same place, and with all the same privileges?  Even the white dudes?   For years now, rich white dudes have been running the show and shitting on everyone.  Poor white dudes- like poor folk of other colors and genders-they’ve been taking it up the ass, no kiss, no lube, no reach around, for eons.  Just like everyone else.  They don’t start wars, they just fight in them.  They don’t own factories, they work in them.  They don’t drive BMW’s, they repair them.  They work in coal mines and on oil rigs and in processing plants- doing often dangerous jobs for often decreasing wages and being thankful that they work at all- just like everyone else.  They worry about their futures and families, just like everyone else.  And even those who bought into the White Collar American dream?  The tech guys and business guys and such?  They are finding their jobs outsourced and their positions downsized and their hours increasing while their paychecks grow smaller- just like everyone else.  Why?  Because if history teaches one anything, its that money is and has always been the bottom line, profit is king, people are cogs, and those few with the power and the money will do anything and everything to keep it, screw everyone; regardless of color, race, nationality, religion, gender, sexual preference or any other difference.  Other people, even poor white dudes, are nothing more to them than a bottom line of productivity.  That has not changed.  From the feudal holds of Europe to the plantations of the South to the Factories of the North to the Railroads of the West to the Mines of…well, any goddamn mine, from West Virginia to Colorado…men, women, children worked and died and made very little headway in doing so, but they did make a very select few rich…and it did not matter if they were white, black, yellow or brown, Chinese, Irish, Former Slaves or Free Men.  Profit is color blind.  And it still is.  To this day.

Yet, that truth, that very real and historical fact, does not change the fact that not rich white folk, including and maybe even especially the dudes, get to eat shit and take blame for rich white folk even though they got screwed too, and are still being screwed too.  They get blamed for shit they never did, accused of holding attitudes and power they do not have- and likely never had or will ever have- they because they are white, and some of ’em are male, get to take all the hate and blame for shit they not only had no hand in, but were victims of too…and they don’t even have the modern politically correct mode of thinking that makes racism or sexism or religious intolerance against other folk unsavory and seriously life impacting on their side at all.  It’s STILL okay and funny to make fun of “those people”, the men and the women.  Why?  Cause well, “those people” are white…and all white people are the same, and started off with all the good shit, and historically have always had the good shit, and all that other crap too, right?

Say it to me with a straight face, I dare you.  Especially to my face.  Tell me how the majority of white people are Rockefeller’s or Vanderbilt’s.  Tell me how the majority, historically and culturally, have really always had it so good and had a head start over everyone else in life…especially the dudes.  Tell me we all look alike and are just the same.  Tell me it’s okay to trash those people because they are trash and are just lazy and failed to excel because they started off so ahead in life just because they are…white.  Tell me that, and I’ll call ya a liar.

Clue here, nobody, regardless of color or gender or any other thing, has an easy time pullin’ themselves up by their bootstraps if they have no boots, and rich white dudes have done a good job of keeping boots off a whole lotta feet- because passing out boots to everyone, even other white folk, would not be profitable!

But who want to talk about class and how its not okay to make fun of white people who aren’t rich and aren’t the people who fucked everyone (and are still fucking everyone) over and how  we got no reason to be angry or feel slighted?  After all, it ain’t popular…

Elephants in the room never are…