Archive for the ‘Blogging’ Category

My strange journey….

Posted: October 18, 2012 in Blogging, Personal

So I am back now I guess, yeah?

I have learned some things about life, and myself, and people.  Some good, some bad, some in between.

Life?  Its never what you expect….its not a game, or a journey, or anything but  a mission.  We all have a mission.  Its great if we can figure it out before we die.

Me?  I am one angry woman.   Scary full of fury.  But as much as I am a a furious bitch with a hellfire temper, well, hate…not the impersonal kind, but the personal kind, which used to be so easy for me, is getting harder.  I made a hobby out of driving, burning, murderous hate, heck, it kept me alive.  I will say honestly, I thought of myself for a long time as a monster, I would be the everything horrible everyone thought me to be, and I did prove myself to be very adept at that, I was GOOD at it, and I will even admit, I liked it…but I am not sure I am really That Thing Anymore.  I still have a Bite and Smirk, but….that’s is all a part of me for sure, but it is not ALL of me.

People and I…that is the hard one.  My brain works a bit different, and I am always fascinated, not always nicely so, about how others work.  I have done very very nasty things not only trying to see how they work, but trying to see how I am different or could make me be the same….there IS a reason I like Sylar so much.  But I am finally starting to realize….okay, so I am off, its not anyone’s fault, persay, I just am.  I may never get it, ever.   But I don’t need to get others, and really, others don’t need to get me…we’re all still here , right?  I WANT to know, but it doesn’t matter if I ever really do, right?

I reckon that is a start.

Welcome to my latest evolution.

I am No Longer a Sex Worker, and have no desire to ever go back to it, but believe it is a far more complex issue than anyone will ever know unless they’ve done it.

Still a gamer, though they are killing City Of

Still like my guns.

Still love gumbo, and Sylar, and the Comedian, and Dean Winchester, and Tucker & Dale….

and I leave you with this….


i so did always love this song, imagine that?

Um, yep

Posted: June 28, 2012 in Blogging


Sharon, my cat, says it best.  Am I done? Dunno yet.  I am I not done?  Dunno yet

Oh man, cannot stop laughing.  Not sure if that was the response she intended to inact but hey, I just admitted in the last post my head is a bit oddly wired and well, for real, some shit that prolly shouldn’t just makes me laugh my goddamn ass off, and really, I needed a good laugh…

so now go to Joans and Read Her Posts about the 50 Shades of “Phenomena”

You done?  You read it?

Did someone other than me laugh?

See, the deadly combo of Joans Sarcastic Yet Justified Rage and the fact that she’s…right…and the fact that as a Het Chick I fuckin’ hate Twilight and all stories of it’s Ilk and actually wish a great many dudes of the world would just leave me the hell alone….oh see, funny shit right there….and any crap schlock novel that follows the pattern she’s talkin’ about?  There are droves of women who will read it…Romance Novels of any sort -from ones with Vampires to ones with BDSM- are usually pretty crappy and are fittingly called Housewife Porn or Bodice Rippers for a reason….and have been for years, so the formula and the tales are nothing new…so yeah, it both amuses me and baffles me when suddenly these sorts of things are almost mythical and mystical in their popularity.  Snerk,  Last book I read- actually re-read, was “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman and it was good.  Last movie I saw was “the Hunger Games”- never read the books, and frankly, I loved it, ‘cept for the stupid romance plot line…

It’s funny to me because I guess as a person who likes to write, and has been told I don’t actually suck at it…I don’t much go for romance in anything I write, or the tried and true formula (maybe that’s why I am not rich and famous?)  Sex?  Sure, I’ll write stuff with sex in it, and complex relationships, and rivalries, and dynamics that are fucked up…sure.  But Romance or the typical Man Sweeps Woman off her Feet and Makes her Feel Special?  In that Special Way Joan is talking about?

Ughhhh.  What amazes me is folk actually like reading that shit!


I liked this post.

Posted: April 10, 2012 in Blogging, Humans

Hugo has a post up about how he has dealt with if not his full out personality disorder, personality flaw.  I found it interesting cause well, a lot of folk I know, myself included, deal with similar things on a daily basis and while all of us might have different “quirks” going on and different ways of dealing with them (some good ways, some not so good), it is something we deal with pretty much daily in order to function, and heck, better than function-be a part of- like for real- the rest of the world around us.  Which can honestly be on some days a full time job.  Now, I say this as an antisocial type.  That was my big ping on that cluster Hugo was talkin’ about over there, the antisocial one.  And yep, if ya go and look that one up to see what it is, aside from the oh, hurting animals thing I do run the checklist there-or have at some point in my life, often.  I have mellowed some with age-as can happen with Antisocial types (less hormones, less angst, less…energy) there is the simple fact that kinda like Hugo talks about there…I have a different kind of thought process and have to do things differently than most folk in order to even interact reasonably normally with most folk.  Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I sorta succeed, sometimes I fail miserably, but yeah, there is process that invovles the rearranging how one would “naturally” go about doing things, and there is also a line you gotta keep so you don’t beat yerself up endlessly (or beat up other people endlessly) and realize that even if you aren’t “normal”, well, you are a person who deserves some good and happy and whatnot just like other people- and wanting that isn’t bad.

What I tend to struggle the most with is assuming that folk who seem like me or whatnot are actually like me.  It’s odd, when I meet folk who seem or present very similar to me, I have a habit of thinking hey, they get it, they are like me, so, yeah, we’re on the same page and get shit the same and at first that seems…freakin’ awesome.  That someone has the same shit goin’ on and has to do the same things wrt to other people and sorta has the same view of the world as me and look, with this person I don’t have to do all the stuff I gotta do with other people….and then I find out I am wrong.  Totally.  Which is always a huge, huge mess.  It’s happened with me a few times, and thusly, I now have to add to my to do list “never assume regardless and always do all that shit in your head you need to do”…which is like a big check list really and a forced rewiring of how your process shit…but hey, it’s what I gotta do in order to be a part of the world rather than want to burn it to the ground.

Damn, am I cheerful or what?

In any event, I liked Hugo’s post and think it took balls to write it as there are a lot of folk out there who look for reasons to go after him and shit to go after him with.

Shocking, I know.

I’ve just not had much to say.  Life has been interesting and strange and, eh, inevitable and life-ish as it were.  Been pondering continuing on with my sexism in gaming series, just gotta set fingers to keyboard and all that- and yep, I plan to actually pick on the girl gamerz too at this point, cause often, they don’t help the dang situation.  In fact, that post will prolly happen real soon.

In the mean time…loving this song.  Thank you, Walking Dead…




Posted: January 9, 2012 in Blogging, Humans

So, I’ve been neglecting blog world here lately, due to everything from illness to meh, other shit to do, NFL, guns, blah blah blah….and cause it is Netganistan, you KNOW as soon as you leave shit will blow right the fuck up…

and so it has again, and so I been catching up, and it’s interesting because three people I got right here on my own blog roll are well, from engraged at/to less than thrilled/ to WTF with eachother.  Gin, Hugo, and Joan.  And I feel like I should say some shit, just cause…

I got all three of em on my blog roll for a reason.  I never agree with any one of em 100%, and never disagree with any one of em 100%.  Gin is the only one I know in RL, but I have talked to both Joan and Hugo, and promised Joan I would drag my gun nut self out to CA to scare her family for her one day…(long story).  But this recent blow up has me thinking about a lot of shit….

Wierd shit.  Very, very wierd shit.  And things like “privilege” and violence and crap o’ that nature.  Now, see, Joan here just knocked my dang boots off with being, IMHO, very brave…and saying some real truth.  I sort of feel like, as a person who has oh, had violence and hurt done to me, but also handed out my own fair share of that shit, it is never on the person who dished it out to say when things might be Okay or Forgiven.  One can come to  terms with themself and the wrongs they have done….but anything else?  That has to be given.  That is not something an aggressor can just give to themself and say “its okay, I changed, it’s all better now.”  Because nothing is EVER ALL BETTER, and only the wronged party can decide when its “okay” and things are…well, good enough.   And therein lies the difference between folk like me, I guess, and say, Hugo.  I don’t hate Hugo, not at all.  Not in the least.  But…well, as a person who has done some shady shit myself, sober and not, emotional harm and physical violence and all that crap…well, I can and have come to terms with my own shit, and I can live with who and what I am and what I have done…but it ain’t all good, and no one has to forgive me for it, and I sure as shit am in no position to ask them too, nor act like things are all okay and dandy because you know what?  Straight up, I fucked wth some other folk and sure enough, they are human and it hurts and affects them and that is not just…okay..or excusable…even with excuses (I was drunk, tweaking, sleep deprived, I’m an anti-social, blah blah blah blah…SO WHAT?) Can I live with the fact that I can be a real piece of work and have certainly done others wrong-without sugar coating it?  Yep.  Do I think that’s okay or that those folk I have wronged should forgive me because well, I’ve evolvoed or changed or would prolly not do the same shit unto them again?  Fuck No.  And that’s not now nor will it ever be my call to make.

And I also gotta say, when I feel I have been wronged, or treated unfairly… hell, Gin and Joan could attest to this…I tend to, oh snap back.  And go for the kidney shot.  I am, by nature, when I feel hurt or wronged, mean.  But…I am quick to forgive.  Forget?  Never, hell, I am a Scorpio- we never forget, but forgive, yeah…which is good, or chances are…well, I wouldnt KNOW people like Gin and Joan- but you know what?  Only Gin and I could agree to bury our hatchet and love on the Zombies, and only Joan and I could agree to let shit slide and be friends….No one else, not anyone from “my side” who may have hurt them, or “their side” who may have hurt me could make those decisions for us.  And hell, we all took some shit for doing so…and apparently we call all live with that- but it was our decision, as mutally aggressive folk and mutally hurt folk…to make.

No one else could do that- just us.

One can learn to live with bad shit they’ve done….but no one can do the forgiving except the wronged party.  And to me, that just seems like common basic knowledge.

*as for the privilege thing…I can tell ya, I have pulled some shit that well, if I wasn’t a short white gal?  It sure as shit woulda landed my ass in a jail cell!  And yep, I absolutely recognize that!


**and Gin, I forgive you for not liking Tebow, but I am still gonna wear my Tebow Jersey!

nah, it ain’t another dog poo post….

Okay, so Hugo writes something over at Good Man Project.  Ren reads  (I can read you know! I can also annoyingly refer to myself in the third person!)  I think he kinda over does it, cause frankly, I’ve never found someone saying “hey” to me on the street- even if they are male- akin to a rape threat or harassment, but I’ve never been raped.  Some fella following me for a block being creepy?  Totally different…but you know, that’s not a daily occurrence, saying “hello” is.  Anyway, discussion ensues, some of it laughable, and since I went to bed early then woke up like two hours later and wasn’t able to fall back asleep, I laughed…

But yeah, I then prolly stepped in it in the comments too because I apparently failed PC101.  I just can’t help myself sometimes, it happens.  But see, I am sorta of the mind that if someone has been harmed in some way by a person who is in some way other, be it a woman who was raped by a man or a person who was mugged or otherwise harmed by a person of another race….its natural to assume for awhile, they just might be paranoid/afraid of/ made nervous by…well, folk similar to the person who harmed them, even if those similar folk had nothing to do with it.  I think that is something that logic and rationale aside happens.  Fear is a powerful and fucked up thing…and assuming it only applies in some cases, like a woman being afraid, ect., around or of men, plural, after being assaulted by one of them is just…asinine.

For instance, and I will admit it outright, once upon a time I was physically assaulted by a male person who was a different race than me.  Not sexually, not even very successfully, but yeah, assaulted.  And there for awhile afterwards, because the incident was scary for me, well, folk who looked like/reminded me of this guy made me nervous and I was afraid of/cautious around them.  Was that their fault?  Hell no, they weren’t the guy!  But still…its how it was for me for a while after the incident.  That knee jerk fear of folk who reminded me of that guy went away, but gee, you know, I did have it there for a bit.

Was it wrong of me to feel like that? Well, logically and rationally, it prolly was…after all, I was reacting oddly/paranoid of folk who had done nothing to me for reasons as simple and beyond their control as a resemblance to someone who had wronged me.  But fear and such are not logical, rational things….and saying in some cases (woman who was raped by man) its okay and justified and in other cases (person mugged/harmed by person of another race) it isn’t…

Well, I call bullshit…PC or not.

Guess I need to go clean my boots.


Posted: October 7, 2011 in Blogging, Humans, Personal, Pornography, Sexism

So, I was cruisin’ around blog world the other day, checkin’ out a lot of sites I’ve not looked at in months- some cases years- and I got to thinkin’.  I’ve been doing this blog thing, here, at the old place, whatever, for awhile now, and it is interesting to see how much some things have not changed.  I am not sure I count as all as one of those things which has not changed.  I made a concious effort when I nuked the old joint to move- somewhere- forward, to the side, up, down, dunno, anywhere but there because there was a place that was makin’ me far meaner and nastier and crazier than I am by nature because the whole deal, arguing the same shit all day every day to people who are so set in their rightouesness is ultra frustrating.  And it’s funny cause as I was looking around I saw a shit ton of folk saying the same thing:  “everything is exactly the same”…and most of ’em are people who are the ones actually stuck in the same old rut, unwilling to change or diversify or consider shit in a slightly different light- which is kinda funny.  Its kinda like “no wonder everything seems exactly the same to y’all, yer makin’ NO effort to be any different.”  Which makes me rather glad I did decide to, well, do something different.

Now sure, there are always gonna be things that piss me off, topics and views about certain things (like, oh, porn) that are gonna light a fire under my ass.  That gal over at Hugo’s proves that.  Sure enough, that kinda thing makes me mad.  So yeah, been avoiding it- almost completely, because sure enough, nothing new is ever said- same old shit, different day, over and over, and no one ever fucking listens if what is said doesn’t fit how they want it too.  I spent years dealing with that crap- and it ain’t worth it.  People can rattle sabres and cages as much as they want- it doesn’t change fact or truth or proof now, does it?  Nah, it don’t.  People need shit- things to believe in, causes, a sense of rightness, whatever, something to do and something to look forward to and something to occupy ’em to make life worth getting outta bed in the morning.  So be it.  Even if I think those things are crap and full of bullshit- hell, not my place to shine a flashlight, and frankly, not my fuckin’ concern.

Cause I figured out a long time ago, the type of shit I think of as feminism and the type of shit a lot of people I argued with endlessly think of as feminism?  Two entirely different beasts.  I am sorta of the mind that feminism, their brand, is a fuckin’ crock, and what I was for all along was equality- for everyone.  You know, that whole “equal” regardless of color, nationality, gender, so on- equal for everyone, people judged on their merits and character and deeds and shit rather than…crap like sex, skin tone, and other things they got NO control over?  I also think people- all of ’em- have brains, and choices, needs and desires, wants and dreams- and overall tend  to be pretty capable of knowing why they do what they do and don’t endlessly have to ‘examine’ shit.    I can also say, for me. personally?  The whole tribe women we should be united as a class and love eachother/have one anothers backs because well, we are women thing?  Fuck that.  Like anyone else I got people I care about, worry about, try and look out for. There is some kinda bond, friendship or affection there, and sure as shit they aren’t all women.  From Rootie to Ernest, from Aspasia to Vlad, these are folk, both net wise and meat space wise, I actually have a kind outlook on and wonder about and all that stuff….and I am never gonna say some woman, or women, and their wants and needs so on are more important to me than the males in that group-or in general.  Sorry, ain’t happenin’.   I think the whole lot of ’em, male or female, so on, should be treated equally and that means I ain’t gonna favor the gals just because they are gals.  I also ain’t gonna say the gals are weaker, or more emotionally in touch, or less capable of making clear choices and decisions, or are more duped by the world, than the guys are.  Imagine that?  So maybe that is why-me and the Radical Feminist set never saw eye to eye.

Now granted, since I moved here and started writing about other shit than the porn wars and crap and it’s sorta been made evident I am not Lily Liberal and what not, I am sure there are folk who are going “ohhh, i get it now…she’s a libertarian redneck gun nut, it all makes sense”, heck, I’ve even had former allies turn tail and run.  But sometimes ya can’t change peoples opinions if they are set on having them, and its not always worth trying.  That I have most certainly learned.

Point is I guess, I have changed.  Years have passed since I started back at the old joint, hell, I turn 40 come November, have retired from a certain industry save the occasional porn and art things, got tired of being the piss her off, point and shoot advocate, am more worried about the economy than if internet porn is making some women have body image issues, worry more about what the US is gonna be like in 10 years than if BDSM is erotically sanctioned violence against women, and have gone through a ton of medical shit that has truly made me appreciate the little things.

I’ve changed, so I kinda wanna say to all the people who are complaining about how everything is exactly the same?  Well hell, if you do nothing to change that or change yourself…what the hell do you expect?   Shit don’t change unless people change.

And just for the hell of it…bucket of guns!  (not mine, but, I love the picture! It amuses me!)

(One Crackers Humble Opinion)

Okay, I am sure this seems all ironic and hypocritical and all those good things since I am ranting endlessly about how one should not rag mercilessly upon Hillbillies, Hicks, Rednecks and White Trash (henceforth HHRWT), but face it, to some degree ragging on those different from one’s self is natural, and besides, hipsters are sooo coool they wouldn’t even care if some beneath them HHRWT was ragging on ’em anyway, right?  And I won’t be completely merciless…or maybe I will, not sure yet.  I do also realize that there are plenty of folk who already rag on hipsters.  Why yes, they do take their fair share of picking on, but often times, unlike HHRWT, the reasons they get picked on are largely within their control.  And believe it or not, Hipsters and HHRWT do occasionally have a few things in common: namely tattoos, cheap beer, and looking like they just rolled out of bed regardless of the hour.  Now, tattoos are a universal right for all humans in my opinion.  However, HHRWT drink cheap beer because it is cheap.  Hipsters do it because it’s cool, and even pay premium beer prices for it!  Also, you will generally find that HHRWT-when they look like they just rolled out of bed in the morning- rumpled clothes, messy hair, scruff on the men and screwed up make up on the women, its because they have just in fact rolled out of bed, regardless of the hour of the day.  Hipsters, males and females alike, will actually spend hours and exert amazing attention to detail to get that “I spent no time and put no effort into ‘This Look’  look”.  It’s amazing really.  I can look hungover and dishevelled real easy, so it stuns me when people put a whole lotta time and effort into it, and hipsters sure do!

Now, aside from the effort put into the no effort look, there are several other things I have found to be distinctive traits amid the Hipsters of the World.  They like bags.  Often ugly yet expensive bags, and carry them around almost constantly.  The men and the women.  Now, I know non-hipsters who do this too, but usually the bags are smaller and much cheaper, or not bags at all, but rather tool kits or tackle boxes.  Oh, and the occasional gun case.  Often in the bags, one finds an odd assortment of stuff, from cell phones to some off beat book of poetry to string to art supplies.  But yeah, sure enough, Hipsters love their bags.  They also dig skinny jeans, once again, men and women alike.  Those tight little things with low waists and narrow legs and shit that makes me wonder what the heck they would do if they got into a fight or had to run away from one.  Hipsters also tend to be big into music, but it often doesn’t matter if it is good music or not, so long as no one else has heard of it, and the second other people start to like it, its not cool anymore, or well, the hipster is cooler because they heard it first.  That attitude also applies to film.  They like floppy hair, like hair in the eyes at all times looks like it would drive me utterly crazy cause It’s Touching My EYES kinda hang in the face.  And mustaches, little  thin ones, a lot of hispter dudes have and like those…oh, and tend to blame HHRWT for making goatees uncool.  I  find it ironic that they tend to think they are ironic and pretend/put on this whole jaded or bitter  facade thingy because its cool, when in truth, a whole lot of ’em have never seen any sorta shit that should ever lead them to that sorta jaded/bitterness.  Then they bluster in that cool hip way about how a lot of folk who do actually have reasons to be jaded or bitter yet take it stoic or put a humor spin on it are “the real”  poseurs.   (Real poseurs, hahaahah). I have run across a few who find art made from human waste or bodily fluids-no matter how bad the art is- good, and think anyone who photographs a fucked up human body is edgy…yet none who have ever actually worked in the fields of medical examination, funeral homes, or crime scene clean up.   They are all about the liberal arts, tend to be iconoclastic towards anything that isn’t theirs- but tearing shit down takes sooo much effort- and are often very concerned with social issues…but I have yet to see one at any volunteer gig I’ve ever done.    They will rag on people who shop at Walmart, yet I wonder how many of ’em are wandering around in “cool shit” they found in a thrift store that has been donated by some HHRWT- who bought it at Walmart.  They are enviro-friendly and many are vegan-non-gluten-skinny folk, who like…PBR.   Some assume basic manners, like saying excuse me after burping or farting, are social constructs for other humans and they need not engage in such oppressive behaviors.    Oh, and I know for a fact that some of them like the idea of slumming in dive bars, so long as it is a “nice” dive bar in a not really dive-y area, because I made the mistake of taking a crew of people that included a few hipster girls who said they wanted to go to a dive bar to a REAL dive bar in a not fake dive neighborhood and they were NOT happy with me.   I guess the actual sawdust on the floor was more than they were expecting….we ain’t been drinkin’ together since…

…So yes, as  you can  see, there are plenty of reasons I can find to rag on hipsters, but, let’s get down to it:  The One Thing any HHRWT is going to take in consideration when it comes to choosing company to keep…who do you want on your side in a fight?  Or more specifically, if one is choosing between HHRWT or a Hipster, who do you want on your side in a fight?  Well…lets ponder that.  I want you to close your eyes and imagine, perhaps after drinking too much cheap beer with either sort, trouble happens.  Its not your fault, or maybe it is, but yep, for some reason, from Bad Moon to Bad Mood, there is gonna be a rumble.  You look around, and you have a few choices in who you can grab to have your back, or better yet, step in front of you, so who do you pick?

To your left, you have this guy.  To your right, this other guy.  See, first thing I note is actual muscle tone, which hey, muscles are handy in a fight.  Second thing?  Foot wear.  Boots are always good in a fight.  Also, you know, with the redneck guy there?  No one is gonna be able to choke him to death with his own bag strap, he obviously doesn’t mind getting dirty, and well, prolly a little crazy, just judging from his recreational activity there.   Which one do you choose?  Hell, I know who I’d be pickin’, and I sure as heck know who I’d be more likely to wanna share a victory beer with, but that’s just me.  Which guy do you want helping you escape an ass-kicking?

But lets say that there are no dudes even to help you out here, hey, gender inclusiveness for the win here at my house, so yeah, no dudes around to help you out in this fight you’ve suddenly found yourself in the middle of, so you have to go with a female as your tag-team partner.  So, realizing there are no dudes and you have to go with a gal in this horrible affair, you once again look around and your choices are once again on the left and right.  Pick quick, cause you know, getting punched in the kidney hurts a lot.  Now see, there is a level once again of practical attire I seek when attempting to avoid an ass stomping.  Now sure enough, both these gals are in flats, but for some reason, I know, no question, who I am gonna grab in case of an emergency in a rumble if these are my choices.   I mean, the one gal, she’s not gonna wanna ruin, bleed on, or get that dress torn off, it prolly cost more than I make in a month after all, and well, glasses.  Always sucks to have those broken in a fight, and once again, the fear of bag strap strangulation.  That other woman there?  Far more practical clothing and obviously, she’s not afraid to kill shit.  So yep, I’d be takin’ my camo-wearing sister there, how about y’all?  Shoot, in fact, I pick her over the dude with the bag, frankly.  How about you?

Now, this is the point where my previous possible promise of mercy may fall short.  As you have perhaps guessed from this post and others around here, I am not over all a huge fan of hipsters, especially those who make fun of HHRWT.  And I am really, really not a fan of hipster feminist bloggers who act like class does not exist unless it suits them at the moment, and even amid those hipster feminist bloggers -there is one I dislike above all others I am familiar with, one who really can dish it out but not take it, ignores class when it suits them to do so, and endlessly pick on HHRWT because, well, its okay to do that.  A gal who has ragged, as a hipster feminist big time blogger and all, on everything to gals with fake tits to those who pose in playboy to those who are not young and cute and perky and such, and then has the nerve to get upset and huffy when people of the sort whom she rags on get pissed about it, and that gal?  Well, she might be named Amanda….so I ask you people, when in a mythical bar fight and all, and you got two choices, one a Hipster Big Time Feminist Bloggy Blogger with awesome creds who is just sooo smart and funny…and the other a mean little asshole of the HHRWT vareity.  Remember, a theoretical asskicking is on the line here….

Eh, I go with the cracker in the black cowboy hat and camo pants personally, cause well, I go with her every day and all, and well, she wears boots instead of sandals…and plus, cool shirt.  But yeah, I know who I pick for that sorta thing, you know, the sorta deal where you gotta know who has your back and will keep an eye out and stand up for you and defend ya and such- things that are far more important than lookin’ like you spent no effort and music and what’s art and what ain’t?   Sure as shit, I go with HHRWT, ’cause even if you do pick on them or mock them, they just might lend you a hand because you needed it or asked.  Hell, it’s in their nature.  It kinda has to be.

A Hipster?  Hell, not sure I would ever trust one to do that, have my back or care more about someone getting their ass stomped than their cool creds or clothes. I’m not sure its in their nature at all.  And that reason above all is why Hipsters should be targets for disdain before HHRWT.  We care about who and what we care about, even if it ain’t cool.

So, I was loungin’ in my modern den of inequity (firearms & liquor welcome!) furrowing my crooked eyebrows and cursin’ the government for makin’ cold meds that contain pseudoephedrine behind the counter, one box per customer and requiring of ID and leaving of address…because I actually have a goddamn cold, people…so being me I made someone else buy ‘em for me.  After all, with my burn scar, sketchy tattoos and such I don’t wanna be seen, let alone documented, buying shit that oh, one might use for the production of crank, and I came to a wildly profound realization:

Y’all are gonna be in for a real shocker here:

I am one pissed off, burned out, angry, disappointed and bitter gal-which you all knew already I reckon, but then I got to thinking about the why for of that- aside from just being wired that way and predisposed to it- and truth is, much of my…ahem…loathing of my fellow human, regardless of race, nationality, gender, sexuality, or religion…comes about from what many people would consider little nit picks but they really aren’t, and in my most recent and amazingly laughable and frustrating trip around blogland, I have come to the conclusion that there is shit that I figure needs discussing and no one else out there, not the big shiny blogs, not the hipster feminist blogs, not the cool kids smarter, better, richer and worldlier than you blogs, not the males dealing with gender stereotype blogs, are gonna do it.  So I guess I  have to.

And I can almost promise a lot of the shit I’m gonna say?  Well a lot of those who read here aren’t gonna like it.  But, interestingly enough, I got an email today from a fellow blogger who said she and another blogger familiar with me were discussing me and my blogging, and what kept them coming back was that even if they did not agree with me, or if I pissed ‘em off, or I was caustic and hostile or whatever the fuck other charming thing I might be… I was honest, called it like I saw it, remained consistent, and did not alter or change my views like some wishy-washy dish rag lookin’ to win a popularity contest.  And you know what?  They’re right.  Besides, I ain’t never won a popularity contest in my life and I reckon I am not about to start now. The simple fact is, I don’t much give a fuck if people agree with me or not, because you know-sometimes I am just right and like it or not, folk are gonna have to suck that up and deal with it. Like it or not.  I am not afraid to call it like I see it, so I will.  And I am not afraid to say shit other people won’t and in truth, I am sick to death of pansy ass whiners who dodge any topic or issue that is hard to deal with or unpopular and won’t take a fuckin’ stand because it might tarnish their gold plated liberal creds.  I am even sicker of folk statin’ shit like it is word one handed down from some omnipotent being and utter fact then refusing to be challenged on it.   I see so much holier than thou gender is bunk feministy uber academia liberalese wanna be genius bullshit out there that is missing so many basics it just makes me wanna puke…so fuck it.  I am done.  Done bein’ nice and civil and sugar coating shit.  Done with not challenging the way people think and see shit.  Hell, apparently I had a knack for that back at the old joint, so let’s see if I can kick folk in the grey matter with a verbal steel toed boot here.  I am done with makin’ shit easy and  the rest of that crap.  If people don’t want to think, they can go elsewhere, it’s that simple.  So, let’s get to it people.  Let’s get to the dirty business  that ain’t easy and popular, and lets start with the biggest Elephant in The Room: Class.

I hear you now, “here she goes again” but guess what?  Class is the one thing missing from just about every fucking discussion on every goddamn thing out there. People love to discuss and debate race and gender and sexuality and all those things but class?  Oh no, we can’t touch that one with a ten foot fuckin’ pole, at least not with any seriousness, and you wanna know why?  Because classism is a dirty, dirty topic for dirty, dirty people and holy shit, it just don’t affect women, or people of color, it can affect….anyone, and everyone, including…white folk, and…yep, white dudes!  And they are eeeevil, so everyone just brushes class and classism under the rug and leaves it pretty much out of any discussion about anything and by doing so manage to make themselves look like self righteous fools who believe in fairies. unicorns and that everyone out there has dreams of sugar plumbs and PhD’s and can afford one or both of them. 

Well, here is a little reality and hardline for ya, folks.  Class can and does affect people just as much as race, or gender, or sexuality or any one of those other things people love to discuss.  Just like other so called advantages in life, being of, from, or in a higher class strata makes life easier for you, and just like other disadvantages in life, being of, from, or in a lower class strata can make life harder for you, and all the shit that goes with it- all of it- can and often does erase other advantages lower class people have in life.  Point blank, right there, between the eyes.  If people think you’re trash, they don’t much care what color you are, what god you worship, what’s between your legs or who you prefer fucking.  They simply disdain you, regardless of any other adjective that falls before the word trash.

And how do I know this?  Well, I know it, just like I know the sun rises in the morning and oceans have tides and the V8, enviro-friendly or not, kicks ass, because I have seen it with my own eyes.  I know from that great bastard of a teacher: experience.  The truth of that has been shown to me, again and again and again, and like anyone, I find proof in repeated case studies and experiments and via facts in evidence.  And even amid the low class, there is one group, a sordid, unsavory subset worthy of nothing but contempt, mocking and disdain, and that group is low class white folk.  White trash.  The lowest of the low.  The last bastion of acceptable hatred, the remaining dregs of human scum it is sporting to make fun of, the one group of subhuman filth the New, Modern, PC World reckons it is okay to rag on; without shame, guilt, or repercussion.  Hell, its funny to pick on those sorts, all in good fun and edgy and shit.  Hillbillies, Hicks, Rednecks, Trailer Park Trash, White Folk of a low socio-economic stations, they are fair game, the men and the women alike, and you can see these pariahs lambasted in everything from high brow indy theater to kids cartoons, and its all A-Okay.  Some of the old Looney Toon’s episodes have been locked away forever because of their insulting racial connotations, but flip on Nickelodeon and sure enough, you will see parodies of poor white folk everywhere.  It’s okay to pick on them-even in front of children, some of whom may be “those people”.  Why?

Well, they are…gasp…white folk.  And white folk, well, you know, they are supposed to have it all: all that privilege and power and money, nice things and good educations and the best things in life because well, they are white folk.  If they are white and blue collar or even worse-poor, well shit, they must have…done something wrong.  Be off somehow.  Fucked up.  They must be…well, inbred or dumb or lazy.  They must be drunks or junkies or the products of poor breeding.  Or Irish.  They, those super privileged above all white people-especially the male ones- they are supposed to, by legend and the annals of the Oppression Olympics and by sheer force and determination, have it all.  The White Collar I Won the Game American Dream on a Silver Platter: a quiche (fixed by a domestic) in every oven, a BMW in every garage, a double mochachino in every hand, perfect partners and 2.2 children, headed for Harvard!  White people are…special and lucky and rule the world right?  So if they don’t manage to oh, have the right house in the right neighborhood with the right look and all that right stuff white people are fabled to have…well, then there must be something wrong with those under-achieving loathsome scum.  They must be deeply flawed.  If they live in crap neighborhoods in crap houses (or trailers) with crap jobs and crap lives and problems, well, they obviously failed at winning the white privilege game and thus they are: trash.  Go ahead and rag on them, because even with all that white advantage (especially the dudes) they still managed to turn their lives into a giant shit sandwich and they deserve it.  They have weird ways and don’t fit in with the little white li(f)e and aren’t special.  They, more than any other remaining group of people, are fair game for anyone and anything and no hit is below the belt.  Hillbillies and Hicks and Rednecks and White Trash are the perpetrators of hate speech and hate crimes, right?  They are never on the receiving end, right?

Bullshit.  Turn on your television, or radio, or go to a movie, or read a book, or look at a newspaper, or hell, think of every joke about West Virginia, Alabama, Ohio, Georgia, Nebraska, Wyoming or Montana you have ever heard.  If you actually want me to cite specific examples, I can and will do so…I am a bit of a stickler for that.  And as the New American Nightmare, a Hick who not only likes guns, but has college degrees, I will say this: Everywhere I look -when people are writing about power, or politics, or gender, or feminism, or the sex industry, or just about any other fucking subject on the face of the earth they almost always leave class out of it, and they avoid talking about classism and its affects on white people like a rat with a broken leg would avoid a starving rattlesnake.  No one discusses this shit in depth. No one wants to be “that guy”.  It is the great white elephant in the room. 

That fuckin’ elephant is lookin’ at me.  I guess I am “that guy”. It’s part of the reason I am in fact one pissed off, burned out, angry, disappointed and bitter gal.  And sure as shit, I am just getting started…

Coming Soon: “We as a Society Seek to Help our Most Disadvantaged Citizens – If they Look The Part”, “Modern Feminism is for Women who don’t Really Have to Work for a Living: A Personal Tale”,  “Why Hipsters Should Replace Hillbillies, Rednecks and White Trash as Acceptable Humans for Mocking” and “Poor White Kids & Bored American Nobility- They all Just Wanna Die a Little Bit”  (not necessarily in that order)

*and yeah, totally love my 2 am with a cold self portrait!