Archive for October, 2012

Yes, but can she still rage?

Posted: October 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

The answer is yes.

I can.

Truth be told, I am in anger management classes now, which is NOT all bad.  I mean, I have temper and explosive rage monements that never end well, so yeah.

First thing they wanted to know…what Am I Angry At?  The answer is easy:  Everything.  Its not so off for me to say I hate everyone and everything, except the Comedian, cause HE got it… but they wanted know…so wanna know what I hate?

I hate that the American Dream is a lie.
I hate I was told with two degrees I could make it.
I hate I was told that society values women for more than how they look, how they breed, and how well they stay lesser than men
I hate boredom
I hate people who do not take me seriously
I hate people not me getting them and them not getting me
I hate when I say leave me alone people don’t
I hate my weaknesses
I hate being “type cast”
I hate my spine
I hate people falling in love with me
I hate that some folk do not get that hate, humor, and rage is all I have, and all I have ever had.  ANYTHING amazing I have ever done has not been because I WANTED TO do it, it has been because “I WILL SHOW THEM”

and I HATE people calling or thinking me stupid.  Point flat out is you do NOT get to be as fucked up as me without having some brains.  Take it.

Oh, and I HATE HATE HATE, they are KILLING city of, so….

My strange journey….

Posted: October 18, 2012 in Blogging, Personal

So I am back now I guess, yeah?

I have learned some things about life, and myself, and people.  Some good, some bad, some in between.

Life?  Its never what you expect….its not a game, or a journey, or anything but  a mission.  We all have a mission.  Its great if we can figure it out before we die.

Me?  I am one angry woman.   Scary full of fury.  But as much as I am a a furious bitch with a hellfire temper, well, hate…not the impersonal kind, but the personal kind, which used to be so easy for me, is getting harder.  I made a hobby out of driving, burning, murderous hate, heck, it kept me alive.  I will say honestly, I thought of myself for a long time as a monster, I would be the everything horrible everyone thought me to be, and I did prove myself to be very adept at that, I was GOOD at it, and I will even admit, I liked it…but I am not sure I am really That Thing Anymore.  I still have a Bite and Smirk, but….that’s is all a part of me for sure, but it is not ALL of me.

People and I…that is the hard one.  My brain works a bit different, and I am always fascinated, not always nicely so, about how others work.  I have done very very nasty things not only trying to see how they work, but trying to see how I am different or could make me be the same….there IS a reason I like Sylar so much.  But I am finally starting to realize….okay, so I am off, its not anyone’s fault, persay, I just am.  I may never get it, ever.   But I don’t need to get others, and really, others don’t need to get me…we’re all still here , right?  I WANT to know, but it doesn’t matter if I ever really do, right?

I reckon that is a start.

Welcome to my latest evolution.

I am No Longer a Sex Worker, and have no desire to ever go back to it, but believe it is a far more complex issue than anyone will ever know unless they’ve done it.

Still a gamer, though they are killing City Of

Still like my guns.

Still love gumbo, and Sylar, and the Comedian, and Dean Winchester, and Tucker & Dale….

and I leave you with this….

THE ORIGINAL 80’s VERSION!

i so did always love this song, imagine that?

back from life

Posted: October 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

Back from the dead….

 

I guess maybe I should explain my absence, but really, what is there to explain?  I don’t sleep like a normal person, I don’t relate to people like a normal person.  When most  folk die, they are going to heaven or hell, I’d really prefer Chicago….and flat out….

I don’t blend with my fellow human too well.  I get that now.  Sure, I can be funny, charismatic, backs against the wall kinda gal…ultra loyal and caring about my family and friends…

 

But that does not mean I GET a lot of it.  I really WANT to, but….

 

Heh, Rootie, the Sylar you made me moved off the shelf and back on my desk today.  I liked him because…. I just want to know how it works, and if I know that, I can understand.

 

Oct 15  Monday….nearly a week with no sleep, and NOT by choice.

 

Heheheh, welcome to my world.  I have Sylar days, and I have Peter days…

well then….

Posted: October 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

I may be back……