Ahem, some closer to home social observations…

Posted: November 30, 2011 in Assholes


Ren Declares War on Her Dog Owning Neighbors….

Dear Neighbors who own Dogs-

I watch you, you know.  When I have reason to be outside and y’all are out there walking your dogs, I watch.  Because see, I know cause we got no big yards in this area, you are out there walking them so they can do their business.  I also know in this county it is flat out illegal to not clean up after ’em when they do their business.  And see, I have no dog, so those of you who do not obey the law and allow yer dogs to just do their thing anywhere and do not clean up after ’em?  That pisses me off something fierce.  So sure enough, I keep an eye out.  I look to see if you got yer plastic baggies or pooper scoop contraptions and if you do in fact obey the law and actually take on the responsibilities of the pet you decided to get.  As of yet, I have not caught a single one of ya failing to do so…yet I know some of you are, when I am not watching.  How do I know this?  Because for someone who has no dog, I sure seem to end up with a lot of dog shit in my front yard….as do my non-dog owning neighbors- and I seem to see a lot of it in public areas…like in front of the mailboxes down the street…like the pile of some selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate jackwagons dog’s shit I stepped in yesterday while running down to get my mail in a damn downpour…which made it so I wasn’t really lookin’ like I usually do because hey, I am apparently surrounded by selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate jackwagon dog owners.  Now see, as a person who does not own a dog, or even for people who are good dog owners and obey the law, I gotta say not only am I sick of yer pets mess,  I am real fuckin’ sick of you.   None of us- yer neighbors- deserve to have to clean up after your pets, or should have to put up with both your pets shit and your shit in common areas of the neighborhood.  Kids play out there, you know.  People gotta get their mail, you know.  Folk go for walks and runs out there you know….so what makes you so fuckin’ special that you get a pass on cleaning up after an animal you took on and took responsibility for and the rest of us just get to…step in it? 

Now I have promised folk no shooting.  I will not empty an AK into your car, however, if I ever find out who you are and you happen to oh, leave your car open while YOU run to the mailbox, or have the window down on a hot, muggy, VA summer day, I just might empty my cat’s box into yer vehicle- clumping litter and all- because I think it would only be justified and karma levelling for YOU to have to sit in, smell, and clean up shit for a change… after all, apparently you really need the fuckin’ practice.

And as a side note, is it really smart to get between your seemingly stays to herself, quiet, nice but rarely leaves the house without a huge firearm case neighbor and the mailbox where her important things like bills, NFL merchandise and montly copy of  “American Rifleman” arrive?  Really? 

Heh, I will find you, and the first time you leave yer car open, its on, peckerwoods!


  1. So you have you called animal control? Or the city? Do you have a camera? These assholes need to get nailed. That is just flat out inconsiderate and rude. How hard is it? They’re your dogs, clean up after them!

  2. People do this at the dog park here too. The park even provides the damn baggies. But they’ll see their dog taking a dump and look away like they never noticed. Then MY dogs either try to eat it or step in it and get it everywhere.

  3. The dumb-ass owners who leave their dogs outside on the patio all day so they bark bark bark from boredom? I could strangle them with no problem. Those poor lonely, bored doggies. If it wasn’t illegal I would set them all free.

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