Posted: October 7, 2011 in Blogging, Humans, Personal, Pornography, Sexism

So, I was cruisin’ around blog world the other day, checkin’ out a lot of sites I’ve not looked at in months- some cases years- and I got to thinkin’.  I’ve been doing this blog thing, here, at the old place, whatever, for awhile now, and it is interesting to see how much some things have not changed.  I am not sure I count as all as one of those things which has not changed.  I made a concious effort when I nuked the old joint to move- somewhere- forward, to the side, up, down, dunno, anywhere but there because there was a place that was makin’ me far meaner and nastier and crazier than I am by nature because the whole deal, arguing the same shit all day every day to people who are so set in their rightouesness is ultra frustrating.  And it’s funny cause as I was looking around I saw a shit ton of folk saying the same thing:  “everything is exactly the same”…and most of ’em are people who are the ones actually stuck in the same old rut, unwilling to change or diversify or consider shit in a slightly different light- which is kinda funny.  Its kinda like “no wonder everything seems exactly the same to y’all, yer makin’ NO effort to be any different.”  Which makes me rather glad I did decide to, well, do something different.

Now sure, there are always gonna be things that piss me off, topics and views about certain things (like, oh, porn) that are gonna light a fire under my ass.  That gal over at Hugo’s proves that.  Sure enough, that kinda thing makes me mad.  So yeah, been avoiding it- almost completely, because sure enough, nothing new is ever said- same old shit, different day, over and over, and no one ever fucking listens if what is said doesn’t fit how they want it too.  I spent years dealing with that crap- and it ain’t worth it.  People can rattle sabres and cages as much as they want- it doesn’t change fact or truth or proof now, does it?  Nah, it don’t.  People need shit- things to believe in, causes, a sense of rightness, whatever, something to do and something to look forward to and something to occupy ’em to make life worth getting outta bed in the morning.  So be it.  Even if I think those things are crap and full of bullshit- hell, not my place to shine a flashlight, and frankly, not my fuckin’ concern.

Cause I figured out a long time ago, the type of shit I think of as feminism and the type of shit a lot of people I argued with endlessly think of as feminism?  Two entirely different beasts.  I am sorta of the mind that feminism, their brand, is a fuckin’ crock, and what I was for all along was equality- for everyone.  You know, that whole “equal” regardless of color, nationality, gender, so on- equal for everyone, people judged on their merits and character and deeds and shit rather than…crap like sex, skin tone, and other things they got NO control over?  I also think people- all of ’em- have brains, and choices, needs and desires, wants and dreams- and overall tend  to be pretty capable of knowing why they do what they do and don’t endlessly have to ‘examine’ shit.    I can also say, for me. personally?  The whole tribe women we should be united as a class and love eachother/have one anothers backs because well, we are women thing?  Fuck that.  Like anyone else I got people I care about, worry about, try and look out for. There is some kinda bond, friendship or affection there, and sure as shit they aren’t all women.  From Rootie to Ernest, from Aspasia to Vlad, these are folk, both net wise and meat space wise, I actually have a kind outlook on and wonder about and all that stuff….and I am never gonna say some woman, or women, and their wants and needs so on are more important to me than the males in that group-or in general.  Sorry, ain’t happenin’.   I think the whole lot of ’em, male or female, so on, should be treated equally and that means I ain’t gonna favor the gals just because they are gals.  I also ain’t gonna say the gals are weaker, or more emotionally in touch, or less capable of making clear choices and decisions, or are more duped by the world, than the guys are.  Imagine that?  So maybe that is why-me and the Radical Feminist set never saw eye to eye.

Now granted, since I moved here and started writing about other shit than the porn wars and crap and it’s sorta been made evident I am not Lily Liberal and what not, I am sure there are folk who are going “ohhh, i get it now…she’s a libertarian redneck gun nut, it all makes sense”, heck, I’ve even had former allies turn tail and run.  But sometimes ya can’t change peoples opinions if they are set on having them, and its not always worth trying.  That I have most certainly learned.

Point is I guess, I have changed.  Years have passed since I started back at the old joint, hell, I turn 40 come November, have retired from a certain industry save the occasional porn and art things, got tired of being the piss her off, point and shoot advocate, am more worried about the economy than if internet porn is making some women have body image issues, worry more about what the US is gonna be like in 10 years than if BDSM is erotically sanctioned violence against women, and have gone through a ton of medical shit that has truly made me appreciate the little things.

I’ve changed, so I kinda wanna say to all the people who are complaining about how everything is exactly the same?  Well hell, if you do nothing to change that or change yourself…what the hell do you expect?   Shit don’t change unless people change.

And just for the hell of it…bucket of guns!  (not mine, but, I love the picture! It amuses me!)

  1. Can I borrow one of those? I need to use them on my fuckin’ neighbors. Jesus. If it’s THAT goddamned loud, asshole, you might have had an industrial accident to your dick. Or as my first sergeant used to say, there’s a man who got shortchanged by nature.

    I remember one erstwhile ally calling me a whore for accepting your help—in the form of some money—for that friend of mine who was a struggling stripper at the time. And then there was the person who called a friend a Nazi and claimed he had a threatening icon or something. He had two icons. One of them was a sketch he drew himself, of one of the aliens in, you guessed it, “Aliens.” I kept having that happen over and over again. I once caught a bunch of very feminist feminists talking about me behind my back, and there seems to be no shortage of ’em these days who are very eager to attack other women—–then get all victimy when there’s blowback.

    Funny thing is, though, Ren, that hasn’t happened with you. We might not agree on stuff, but you’re not the stab-in-the-back kind of person. Don’t know why, don’t know how, but there it is.

    • And then there was the person who called a friend a Nazi and claimed he had a threatening icon or something. He had two icons.

      I have to say, that is NOT a word I ever think of regarding you. What prompted him to call you that besides his overwhelming urge to Godwin?

      I once caught a bunch of very feminist feminists talking about me behind my back, and there seems to be no shortage of ‘em these days who are very eager to attack other women—–then get all victimy when there’s blowback.

      Yeah. That reaction of “omg, you’re giving me back what I dished out! me no likey!” always gets me. Like I said on another thread here, I just wasn’t taught to let my mouth get ahead of my sense. I don’t assume that the other person who I’m telling off or being sarcastic ass to, isn’t going to turn around and cuss my ass out. They usually don’t have a comeback but I’m always ready for one.

  2. I think the thing is that whether someone is loyal and honorable is independent of ideology. There are honorable people who subscribe to any general belief system, and creepy scum who do. So you can find total fuckfaces who subscribe to belief systems that are the same as yours, and awesome people you’d think would be your enemies if all you knew was their ideology.

    • There are some dishonorable belief systems. Still, though….God,I remember how devastating and crushing it was to discover so many people Iooked up to—and who had convinced me for years that I was not their equal—-turned out to be people of, well, dubious standards, shall we say.

  3. Roy Kay says:

    The contention is ages old, so anything that could be agreed upon by one and all has been – which in this case is pretty much nothing. As such the issue is grabbing power and forcing change, which I hope would mean decriminalization. Alternatively gutting the state so it doesn’t have any enforcement power. Maybe the GOP tax cuts will help, but it’s not a huge probability. At the moment, the Dems can’t love cops and prison guards enough (or at least their unions) and have no inclination to be of any help.

    That’s pretty much it. After a few thousand, there isn’t going to be much new under the sun.

  4. rootietoot says:

    I rhink most people, who really think, allow their perspectives and opinions to change over time. That’s what growth looks like. It’s the ones who rattle on endlessly about the same things and refuse to consider another perspective as having any sort of validity that are shortchanging themselves out of the (whatever) that comes with growth. Even if you don’t agree with the (whatever) you’re considering, just considering it is growth. (I’m practicing to be an Obscurantist)

  5. One way to know who the real working class people are now, and not the fakers? The real ones are now talking about jobs and real shit, the fake ones are still doing theory about whether BDSM is violence against women, blah blah blah.

    Good rule of thumb, check around.

  6. The inquisition over the Fat Post is what woke me up, and I realized I didn’t care if the feminists liked me or not. If I can’t say I wanna lose weight on my own fucking blog, there is no hope for anybody.

    And next, was when all my guest posts got deleted from Feministe with no explanation… I still don’t know the official reason, if there was one. No answer to emails. No idea why I was suddenly persona non grata. But the photos on one post, about 20 of em, had been there a couple of years, and I counted on that site to host them…. now they are gone for good. (A simple warning so I could have backed them up, would have been appreciated.) that changed everything for me in Feminist Blogdonia. That, ohh, and a certain email list engaging in witch hunts.

    Woke. Me. Up.

    I now don’t believe people are real unless I see photos (plural) or Facebook profiles (with photos, plural)… I think a lot of these people are wannabes and trolls and just fakes. I hate that I let a bunch of trolls upset me, but at least it explains the abject viciousness.

    And some people are just in it for careers. I didn’t fully realize that before either.

  7. I didn’t mean to kill your thread!

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