Cause you TOTALLY know the best way to track down Right Wing Extremists is to act like

Posted: September 6, 2011 in "Those People", Assholes, Morons, Personal, Rants, The Hardline According to Ren, WTF???

a buncha goddamn fascists…

So, being a fan of the ink and all, I have been pondering a lot of new ink lately.  I do still have skin after all, and you know, because it really is fitting, I was pondering oh…that there design sitting right here on the post.  And NOT even as a political statement, but because, well, yeah.  It’s very me really.  And I like it.  And it was woo, me angry with a pen and a piece of paper made.  BUT, you see, apparently, that would be a very, very bad idea.  Never mind I vote and pay taxes and while I might look like one of those spooky backwoods militia types I’m not actually, and well, hell, apparently I am already fucked.  Why, you might ask, am I possibily already fucked?  Well, apparently the FBI has been going around to various tattoo parlors askin’ questions and passing out flyers and encouraging tattoo artists to “help out” against terrorism.  In short, they are askin’ these folks to report to the FBI when folk who look odd, are maybe pissed off at the government, or are getting “questionable” ink come in to get tattooed.  Oh yeah, and if they smell kinda chemical or have burn scars and bright colored stains on their clothes…definately rat out those fuckers- cause those bastards/bitches are prolly buildin’ bombs.  Hell, read the shit for yerself!

Thusly, I repeat, I am fucked.  Not only do I dress like a scary redneck, I do often stink chemical and have One Hell of a Burn Scar.  Oh yeah, and since I paint and shit a lot, uh, stains of many colors on much of my shit.  Never mind I’ve never built a bomb in my life…I dress like a spooky militia person, burn scar, stains on my shit, sometimes stink like chemicals,  already have some fuckin’ wierd tattoos…dude, Watch List Time for Me if I get ink?

I seriously have to ask: What the Fuck? Seriously???

Last time I checked, this was the United States.  Freedom of Expression and Speech?  Freedom of Religion?  Personal Privacy a right?  It’s illegal to tap my dang phone without suspicion and a warrant, but I can be fuckin’ reported for the way I dress, what I smell like, having a scar and getting non-pretty girlie kinda angry ink?  Never mind I’ve never been in any gang in my life, never made a bomb, I do art and clean a lot so I always smell like a chem lab, happened to get burned, and like aggressive ink…this makes me and anyone like me a prospective terrorist?  Does this scream violation of personal freedoms and constitutionally insured rights to anyone else, or have I just been drinkin’ the libertarian cool-aid for too long?

Oh Fuck, I am also a Libertarian!  I am so screwed.

Now granted, pretty much any tattoo artist I know who is worth their salt would never rat out their clients, but still, this is insane.  Any dude who has ever been in prison is now a suspect.  As is anyone with a burn scar or missing limb.  Hell, how many war vets does this smack with “potential terrorist”?  How many people period does this make “sketchy” in the eyes of the almighty Fed?  And yeah its me and I am gonna say it, it kinda sounds like this move here is targeting well…white folk.  ALL gangs have tattoos they use, get together, all that, but I don’t see “be on the look out for MS-13 or Crip gang tattoos” in there anywhere, do you?  Hummm.    And hey, FBI, if you are reading this?  Most gang folk?  Of any sort?  Tend to have their ink done In House, and not at some Tattoo Parlor, and btw, a lot of tattoo parlors are-up until real recent-  Cash Only Businesses, you morons!

And the irony here is really thick to me.  I mean, this whole thing is coming about because the Fed is apparently afraid of neo-Nazi, right wing, home grown terrorism….so how do they go about “fixing it”?  By acting like right wing, home grown, somewhat Nazi-esque agents of the government?    I mean hell, back in WWII the Nazi’s made undesireables wear signs and tattoos to mark them as other and dangerous and slated for death.  Looks like we’re deciding that “by their ink you shall know them” is a good idea…wardrobe, scars, smell, attached limbs, and sense of comradery as well.

It makes me wanna puke.

I was only idly pondering getting that tattoo before.  Now its a definite.  And fuck them if they wanna call me and all the other people out there who are pretty much harmless to them terrorists for it.  This is Still the United States of America, whether they have forgotten that shit or not!



  1. Hm. They’ll be missing a lot of actual potential terrorists (but possibly making a bunch of potential terrorists) with that approach. And there they go, not getting it. Again. Treating an entire population of people as suspects simply because of physical traits does not endear police to anybody.

      • Tattoos? Like what, “Death to America!?” Because somehow I don’t think they’re capable of finding something more subtle. And even then they’re going to snork up a bunch of Ron Paul fans, or Rick Perry fans, or Sarah Palin fans, the first two of which are secessionist—itself treason—and the first guy is a Hypocratic Oath-violating racist scumbag.

  2. I agree completely, and good on you for getting the tatoo. I like the design. Btw, this article has been selected to be part of The End Times (, for tomorrow’s edition.

  3. dead_vladimir says:

    heh it’s institutionalized discrimination

  4. Gaina says:

    And they actually think that a terrorrist is gonna dress like the FBI’s idea of what a terrorist looks like!? Wankers.

    • rootietoot says:

      precisely what I was thinking. . I’d also drive an 8year old tan minivan with cheerios in the floor.

    • Hey, wankers are harmless. The FBI is not. I just read a report about those super dangerous terrorist plots they always talk about. Suffice to say, there’s this thing called ‘entrapment’ that used to be theoretically illegal.

      Not anymore.

  5. excavia says:

    Oh man! The FBI is watching this site now…
    1) I email often about my good friend Osama (a common name and not the dead one) – emails have been tagged.
    2) 1/2 my tattoos are Egyptian, so I’m obviously a terrorist.
    3) I prefer cash, which is legal US tender. I have never trusted banks – i.e. current recession. Terrorist organizations never have bank accounts.
    4) People getting the same tattoos? All of my frat buddies from college are obviously radical Islamist terrorists, and very pasty.
    5) Unusual methods? My 3rd tattoo was technically a keloid body modification – opps terrorist again.
    20 of my tattoos were done in friends/my kitchens with no FBI allowed.

  6. Preach it, preach it! I hope you are also against random drug testing as an unconstitutional INVASION OF PRIVACY… a friend of mine just got canned due to that… they of course were after him for other stuff; boss hated him, interpersonal shit. And the boss thought, hm: I know how to fix his ass, and she did it. THAT IS SO WRONG.

    But that is how it plays out in the real world, another weapon to use on people.

    BTW, check your tracking info, excavia is right. Actually Dept of Homeland Security, not FBI. They started watching my blog after I made a silly random gun joke in this post:

    …and they have been watchng/reading ever since. They particularly make sure to hit my blog whenever I run Steely Dan songs, which makes me think (oh wow, COULD IT BE?) that they are wasting govt time listening to Steely Dan. (Doncha love that we are paying people to listen to Steely Dan on my blog?)

    Glad to see you back, love.

    PS: Rootie you are always a hoot.

  7. And Ren, you might like the redneck music in that post, its hard core. 😀

  8. I’ve been trying to think of how best to reply to this one. Still not sure I’ve got anything intelligent… but honestly this sounds like the FBI trying to get lazy and not do its job to me.

    “Oh, we can’t be arsed to actually figure out who might be using what kind of tattoo as a mark of being in a violent group. So we’ll just haul ’em all in.”


  9. xena says:

    You guys are a hoot. I thought about responding with my own cute little quip, but this shit is serious. So it deserves a serious response.

    The commenters here and on the site with the original FBI checklist are right. Their checklist is FUCKED.

    1) Extremist organizations of the type who blow shit up to further their causes are comprised of an overwhelming majority of religious fanatics. Most of these zealots don’t believe in ‘defiling’ their bodies with alcohol, cigarettes OR TATTOOS!

    2) The only people I’ve heard of who *might* fall under the designation ‘terrorist’, who like ink and fit *some* of the FBI’s other criteria did all of their damage in Northern Ireland. The refugees I’ve met from that area were happy to leave their shit behind. NO WAY would they bring it over here.

    3) Coverup tats AND chemical smells? WRONG. People in gangs cover their shit up when they clean up and stop manufacturing meth. Yes meth.

    THEY’RE NOT EVEN LOOKING FOR TERRORISTS!! They’re looking for bikers who run meth labs and manufacture whatever other designer drugs! Check out Yves Lavigne’s soc study on the “biker wars” of the 1990’s if you want something to hold up the FBI’s checklist against. It matches point for point. Bikers often make racist comments, too, tho they don’t often blow stuff up to demonstrate their racism. They’re too busy making money to commit hate crimes against their competition. They don’t need to risk getting arrested for burning crosses.They lean heavy toward the “ride fast, die free” brand of libertarianism.

    But the FBI know that tatooists aren’t suicidal. No way would they rat off a biker. So working with their ‘cracker’ stereotypes, what overeducated-but-STUPID middleclass ‘intelligence’ gathering doomcriers believe are the fears of tatooed hicks, they’ve concocted this idiotic checklist to trick people into ratting.

    Man, I thought I’d seen every boneheaded cop move…

  10. No One says:

    Instead of inventing terrorists among us, why don’t they do something about the terrorists we know want to cause harm? If a guy with a scar and a tattoo is a candidate for terror, why isn’t a towel headed pig-god worshipping Mohammedan one too?

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