Archive for July, 2011

Part One:  “All women are bitches, why don’t they like me?”

So, since I am doing that whole lets take my mind off shit cause I am a goddamn burn out at the moment, I went out and read some blogs this evening.  As y’all know, I read Hugo’s blog, but damn if some of the comments at his place do not crack my shit up and make me laugh at (rather than weep for) humanity.  Without fail, at least once a week, the whole PUA (pick up artist) culture will be mentioned and all that stuff- the whole Nice Guys or Lonely Guys or whatever blah kinda guys who just seem to have no luck with the ladies, and thusly, some read books or pay gurus or whatever to hopefully increase their odds with women.  Now, I have actually read the holy bible of  PUA-dome, “The Game”  and learned a fair amount about some of this shit.  And actually, some of the advice in it is not bad.  There is discussion on how a dude can improve his self-confidence, take better care of himself, so on so forth, hell, yer basic self-help shit that might actually be useful.  Then there is the other stuff.  And well, the dudes who buy into some of it.  And frankly y’all, it makes my head spin.  You read some of this stuff and its like gee, no wonder you are lonely, and ya sure as hell ain’t nice, and when ya got that attitude about women-all of ’em- its no fuckin’ wonder you’re dating yer hand.   True enough, there may be sometimes where being a nice guy isn’t gonna get ya far.  Like when yer really a bitter whining douchebag claiming to be a nice guy, or only nice to hot chicks who may in fact actually BE outta your league, or when you figure being nice is some sorta strategy game to land yourself a woman.   I mean, a pretty basic theory would stand to be- if ya fuckin’ hate women even though ya think they are good lookin’ and would like to fuck them?  Ya ain’t nice, and most people, even us evil bitches who are so mean to all those lonely nice guys, well, if its thinly veiled to fuckin’ obvious that you think we are shit?  Chances are, we’re not gonna figure you are worth a damn second glance, let alone a relationship.  Not sure how that is some great mystery to some of these fellas really.  And sure enough, I may be a far cry from the typical modern gal in the current dating scene, but Jesus H. Christ and all his associates, I don’t reckon being a whiny, needy, bitter, petulant woman-hating jackwagon is something too many gals are gonna find an attractive quality.  Hell, I may be a slightly insane burn out, but I ain’t an idiot- nor are most women really- and douchebag is not a big selling point in the pursuit of romance! 

As for all the “Well, chicks only dig the alpha bad boy blah blah blah types”  you know what?  There may actually be truth to this.  Hell, it’s a subject I have beaten worse- the whole white knight bad boy so on so forth shit- than a dead horse.  And true enough, I have seen a lot of women a lot of dudes would prolly like to date go for some dudes who are Bad News, but you know what these fellas have going for ’em that Our Poor Beset Upon Lonely “nice” Guys don’t?  They tend to be confident, and often straight-forward, and they Do Not Fucking Whine.  THERE IT IS, RIGHT THERE.  THAT is the ATTRACTION.  They are not whiners!  Not being a goddamn whiner is a stunningly, amazingly, intoxicatingly attractive quality in a man!  And it is totally NOT the exclusive domain of “bad boys” either!  Plenty of men of all kinds have women in their lives and good love lives and girl friends and wives and sex and all that stuff because they are the anthesis of these so-called Lonely Nice Guys…and NOT whiners!  There ya go, great mystery of the world solved!  *

Part Two: Are you a Preacher or an Engager?

This one also comes from being out in blogland.  It seems there are two types of bloggers out there: Preachers and Engagers.  I have sorta come to the conclusion while I might read blogs written by Preachers, I don’t like their style.  Sure, they might post good shit, but that’s kinda what they do for the most part:  Post something- like it’s proof evident from upon high, then walk away and do not engage, discuss, defend, debate, or even just joke around when discussion occurs on their blog.  It’s like they have passed down the holy word to the masses and well, time to move on, cause their shit is irrefutable solid and not up for discussion.  This tends to make Ren a Grumpy Burn Out.  The other kinda blogger is an engager; someone who will post shit, then actually engage / discuss/ debate/ talk with the folk who comment on it.  They may not change their minds, but they are open to discussion, dissent, and conversation.  This kinda blogger I far prefer, and hell, it is supposed to be a social media kinda thing, yeah?  I mean sure, one can do shit their own way and by their own rules on their own blog- but I far prefer discussions over preaching, and try to be a more engager type of blogger myself.  Preaching after all, is for church.

* The exception to this is the chicks who TOTALLY go for the whiny tortured oh the world is so cruel heroin addict goth type artsy dudes-but them boys generally ain’t considered alpha or manly or any of that other PUA shit by anyone, even the girls who go for ’em….they are like the male versions of Damsels in Distress!

Burn Out

Posted: July 28, 2011 in Drugs & Rock n Roll, Humans, Pain, Personal, Rants

Well, shit y’all, if ya can’t just let it all hang out on yer own blog, then where can ya? 

Eh, I am gettin’ real crispy these days- ala my title there- tired as hell but sometimes wired as hell too- naturally- which is also kinda gettin’ to me.  I’ve been holding off on the back meds cause they destroy my stomach, but I had the serious desire to, oh, grind up and snort like six of ’em today (I resisted and succeeded in that resistance) not because the pain was so horrible, but because I am stressed out as fuck and at the same time bored out of my dang skull and seriously have just utterly overloaded on humans in so much that I really don’t actually wanna see too many of ’em at all these days.  Despite my ability to resist the dang pain killers that oh, sit on my desk daily and I really haven’t been taking because while my back hurts, I like what they do to my stomach even less…well,  I sure as heck wouldn’t mind my favorite illicit substance right now at all, I mean hell, if I ain’t gonna sleep, am gonna be sweating like nuts and grinding my teeth like crazy I might was well have a reason, and a reason I rather like a whole lot.   But yeah, complications there too, and am fuckin’ sick to death of complications of any and all kinds in my goddamn life.  Seems like I have had nothing but fuckin’ complications for the last three dang years of my life and while yeah, I have the occasional good day or not bad day- overall, I’ve had a real shitty run here and rather than getting older and wiser, I am getting older and colder.  Just getting spun out of my damn mind holds an almost irresistible appeal these days, cause frankly?  So much else simply doesn’t. 

I’m freakin’ tired.  And not just in a physical/mental lack of sleep way-but in all ways.  I am, simply put, right now?  Quite the Burn Out.  And yeah, sure enough, I still got some of those Little Things which usually help me in makin’ due, but even with me?  Sometimes little things just ain’t enough.  Hell, overall I even had a pretty decent day today.  Mellow hang out kinda day.  Got some sun, smoked some cigarettes, had some fun, nothing I really had to do cause shit that needed doing I did the day before- the kinda lazy, chill day most folk would call fair to midland- but in the overwhelming pile of suck, wreckage and bullshit I’ve been wading through for the last three years?  Even these mellow decent sorta days don’t do much to erase that whole older and colder, leaner and meaner feeling I got taking up residence in my soul.   And aside from today?  It’s been one of them weeks where the hits just keep comin’.  Had a friend of mine say he had to kick me outta his life cause well, I ain’t a good influence and he is trying to get his shit together- which hey, I get, and sure enough, the fella does need to get his dang shit together, and I am rooting for him to do so, and if cuttin’ me out helps in that, then hell yes, he should do it.  But, at the same time, one of those things that when yer not expecting it can hit you kinda strange.  Got smacked with a dang bill I sure as shit wasn’t expecting- and yeah, it can be handled but it means leaning down the lean already even more, and prolly parting with my comic collection cause well, parting with childish things in order to handle adult business is shit that sometimes you gotta do.  I gotta a couple folk I actually do like puttin’ me in situations or places where I gotta make damn hard choices and decisions cause how shit is -as is?  Makes me feel really off and uncomfortable and angsty and wrong – like not right in my own skin kinda levels of it- but I feel like I have had to do a lot of hard shit and already make a lot of hard calls and each time I do, well, damn, there’s another one.  And there is that older colder leaner and meaner part of me that just wants to say even to folk I like “fuck it, I’m done, I am gonna go get spun, and I don’t wanna hear shit about shit from anyone- just back off and leave me the fuck alone- better for everyone, really”…and I’d prolly be justified in doing so.  But I have put my fair share of hurt on various folks and done some pretty awful and shady shit myself, so I don’t know if I will listen to that older colder meaner and leaner part or not.  I prolly should, but hey, that part is one cold-blooded customer-even if it is usually right.

What I need is a goddamn vacation. From a shit ton of stuff, stress, strife, and society.  I need an actually good day, or a couple of ’em, where I ain’t gotta worry about anyone or anything other than me, and do right be me, and indulge me a little and not feel fucking guilty about it.  I need various folk to back the fuck off and realize nah, I ain’t always a rock and ffs, three years of shit, I’ve earned and deserve a goddamn break.  I have lost a lot. A ton of shit other fuckin’ people take for granted.  Sure, other folk certainly have it worse and harder, but I have done bled, in a whole lotta ways enough in the last few years, and I deserve to be freakin’ comfortable and content for a while.  I deserve to have some actually good days where I feel like I am grinnin’ and bein’ nice cause I actually want to and honestly feel that way inside, outside, and all over for real. 

Right now, in about a billion fuckin’ ways I am a Burn Out.  I need some time to scrape off the ash, by my rules and my way, cause that full-out older and colder meaner and leaner thing?  Not real pretty, and when that is the prevailing voice in my head?  Well, shit, no good comes of that, for anyone around me.  All this shit is itchy, and I deserve to feel comfortable in my own damn skin.

and ffs, if I am gonna grind my dang teeth this much and not sleep, I should so have a better and far more fun reason for doing so.

Extremists

Posted: July 23, 2011 in Assholes, Humans

Okay, so, been poking around in blogland today- here and there as it were- and nobody has kicked my brain topic wise, but the over all feel of shit I have taken a look at today has…hence, see title of post.  Now, I will say frankly, that despite my actual dislike of them-in any flavor, color, or gender- I know a lot about various extremists.  I would even guess anyone who has lived/lives in the South who ISN’T one has looked into it a bit, cause you are gonna get accused of being one regardless.  Thusly, admittedly, what I know most about is white extremist groups.  Hell, I talked a guy outta Norse Tattoo he wanted because I was pretty dang sure this fellow did NOT want to be mistaken for “one of those guys”.  But in looking around, hell, you ain’t gotta go to extremist sites to see extremist shit, because all you need to do to find it is look at any hardcore rad fem or MRA site and BOOM, plenty of it, right there.  And sometimes the stuff both are saying makes sense (just like any extremist site).  Any extremist can and WILL find proof of shit that will back up what they say.  It’s actually NOT that hard really.  I mean a rad fem can say that women are far and away more often victims of sexually based crimes than men, and far more often those who commit such crimes are men, and they would be right.  MRA sorts can say that men are far and away more often victims of paternity laws which are skewed in womens favor, and they would be right.  And a sorta tit for tat can be engaged in endlessly….slut shaming vs trauma in wars, DV vs Police Brutality, so on, endlessly….everyone does in fact have a leg to stand on with regards to their views...just like white extremists, or black extremists or christian, jew or muslim extremists…they can, with fact, back their shit up. 

What makes them extremists, however, and what fucks their shit up, is that they tend to apply it to everybody.  All men.  All women.  All non-white folk.  All white folk.  All non (insert religion here) folk.  All of ’em.  Period.  There is no room for exceptions to THEIR RULE when, well, MOST people ARE exceptions to it.  I mean, all men are sexual predators?  Actually, the real unbiased proof suggests all men aren’t.  All women seek to control men’s sexuality?  In fact, no, most women don’t.  All white folk are racist?  Humm, considering Obama is President, I think maybe that ain’t really the case.  All black folk are violent thugs?  Uh, no, in fact, most of them are not.  All muslims want to blow stuff up?  Uh, no, most of them don’t.  All Christians want to forcibly bring everyone else into the fold?  Um, no, not really- and even amid the Christian Religions, there is a ton of variety (come on, I dare ya to tell a staunch Baptist and a staunch Catholic they are exactly the same…)  all Jews support Israel and secretly are working to bring the world under a Zionist State?  Goddamn, where is my memo! Ernest, did YOU get a memo?  Oh, wait, I’m not ALL jew, so, maybe I didn’t get one….I’ll call my dad and see if his arrived in the mail yet…I mean, he’s been lookin’ for it for the last 70 years, right?  And they all predict stuff…kinda like folk of a certain age, hell, generations from mine back through my parents, really, say anyone between late 30’s and 70’s even, depending on what side of the Iron Curtian they lived on, were kinda convinced everyone on the other side of it wanted ’em dead, in the big Cold War cap vs com drama that had many of us diving under our desks in school for air-raid and nuke drills.  Guess what?  I reckon, and fact will actually prove, that most folk on either side of that curtain, cap or com, had no desire to hurt/kill/go to war with/nuke anyone.   But every extremist NEEDS a boogy man, and unfortunately they are not too hard to find.  Every rad fem can find a violent rapist or serial killer of women, every MRA can find an abusive mother, every white hate monger can find a gang banger, every black extremist looking for a horrible racist can find a Grand Wizard, and every major religion has some less than stellar moments and figures…there are plenty of examples out there that back up an extremist view….

But they are never the majority.  They are a minority used to paint the rest of whatever group the extremist hates.  A simple fact is, by chemical make up and biology- we ARE pretty much all the same.  So hating on someone for a chromosome difference, a skin color difference, a regional difference, a religious difference- when so much else is exactly the same…it’s extreme, and actual proof?  It won’t ever be on your side.    I mean, at least here in America, you can hate whoever you want…I will admit I dislike rich classist assholes a whole lot…but I cannot actually prove they are baseline different from me or out to get me, so proof ain’t on my side either- and my dislike is prolly irrational on many levels….but at least I admit it.  And they are not a majority….

In fact, I think if hardcore haters of any type said I hate men who sexually assault women, or women who cheat men, or violent gangsters, or racist asshats, or terrorists, or aggressive religious sorts, so on…no one would think of them as hardcore haters at all, but people who dislike violent lying hate and fear mongering jerkwads….

Eh, something to ponder anyway…

“Deal Breakers”

Posted: July 22, 2011 in Humans

Y’all know the term, right?  As in how it is used in a relationship sense….as in that “I cannot be in a relationship with someone if they (insert habit or whatever here), that’s a deal breaker.”  Usually a term used for relationships of a romantic nature, but not excluded to, for instance a recovering alcoholic might really like Joe X, but Joe X likes to get his party on with the booze and thus, our theoretical recovering alcoholic cannot be around Joe that much because Joe kicks back by drinkin’….thus deal breaker on a friendship.  These things, those deal breaker things?  They exist for a reason.  Boundaries and hardlines and shit like that?  I tend to think those are good things that help in the protecting of ones self, sanity, and all that shit.   Hell, I even got some myself, and yep, sure enough, they differ if stuff is on a friend level or a romantic level….for instance, I can be friends with a dude who takes longer to get ready to go out than I do and puts a whole, whole lotta stock in bein’…pretty or handsome or what the hell ever.  Could I date a dude who spent more time gettin’ cleaned up and groomed to perfection than I do?  Fuck no. Deal Breaker.  Same goes for dudes with long nails, dudes who cannot change a tire, and dudes who figure women should be pretty nice smelling domestic goddesses and great hostesses 24/7/365.   And beleive it or not, some of the same shit other folk consider deal breakers- as in the big huge common ones?  I do too, but prolly to a lesser degree.  I can be friends with, even romantically involved with folk who drink, smoke, use drugs, watch porn, gamble (vices), and I am the same way if they are folk who are more on the virtue end of it (go to church regular, do community service, so on)- where it would become a problem with me is if any or all of that was too excess, an actual addiction, an all-consuming thing…so yeah, I figure that shit out first before gettin’ any kind of relationship- just friends or more than friends, straightened out first- and really, its not a bad thing to do….

But where I see the problems coming in with this kinda shit is when people have those deal breakers, don’t shoot straight about it, and then figure they can change the other party.  One, that shit never works, two, controlling as fuck, and three, kinda dishonest really.  I mean, lets say, theoretically of course and all, a nice sincere hard working clean as soap don’t drink don’t smoke, don’t do any of that shit fella found himself having a serious liking of oh, a somewhat foul mouthed mean tempered non-conventional gal who likes booze, speed, smokes, porn and all kinds of nefarious shit, but rather than saying flat out “Hey, I like you, but the shit you do is a deal breaker for me” and instead makes no mention of it, gets into a relationship with said gal, then starts bringin’ down the hardline?  Uh….boot!  WHY?  Because people are not “a cause” and the awesome power of anyones love ain’t gonna change folk, and well, I for one would not wanna be with someone who was a lying shit sack about it from the get go but figured once they got some hooks in me, they could then change me or the rules of engagement.  It’s underhanded, devious and even IF  (and yep, big IF), the person goes with this change of plan and agrees to the newly made deal breakers?  Pfft….95% of the time they are lyin’ through their teeth and will still do all the shame shit behind the Rule Changers Back.  If a clean-livin’ person gets into a relationship with a partier, and puts up with it until hooks are in and then changes the rules?  Well, sure, because the Partier is now invested in a relationship they might not do it around their S.O….but as soon as that S.O. is outta sight?  I bet ya fuckin’ pair of snake skin boots the Partier will get to partying.  That’s who they are, what they dig, how they roll…and the only person who can-or even has a right to change that shit up- is them.  Love don’t conquer all, and those who go in thinking it can?  Not only prolly in for a nasty shock- but basing the relationship off some lies to start with.  Folk shouldn’t say they are okay with crap they ain’t okay with in the first place, and changing up the rules?  Hell, that’s just controlling manipulative bullshit.  It can also lead folk gettin’ real angry and downright hateful towards the person who, oh, lied. 

Anyway-  been ill and got the insomnia in full effect- and that was what was on my mind this mornin’.  Fire at Will…

Liar Liar…

Posted: July 16, 2011 in Assholes, Morons, Rants, WTF???

So, the shit is still on going at Hugo’s, and while there is some deplorable shit all around, I am still just stunned that so many folk who are supporting the decision made by Jill and Hugo are plain out refusing to address/ignoring/ making no mention of the fact that, oh, look, huge fucking lie right there.  Deflect, Avoid, Ignore, Straw a flyin’, so on so forth, but humm, no real talk about the lying, except to defend it as ‘the upright thing to do’…

Uh, WTF?

See, I dunno how the rest of the world came up, but I was raised in a manner that dictated lying was wrong, and there was sure as shit the difference between a little white lie and a freakin’ whopper of a lie.  Telling yer friend nah, her ass don’t look fat in that to spare her feelings?  Okay, acceptable.  Not tellin’ some dude he might not be the father of the child he believes to be his?  Not fuckin’ okay.  BIG freakin’ difference there.  There are big important lies and little tiny lies and yep, sure enough, there is a difference. Tellin’ someone you love their new haircut when ya actually hate it is really not some huge impacting thing.  Tellin’ the same friend you got no idea what happened to her car when yer the one who actually stole it?  Uhhh…

And it is absolutely stunning me how many people are just fine and dandy a-ok with this kinda lie.  Floored and all that shit.  I’ll even admit that I kinda gotta a rep amid my friends for being brutally honest even when, er, my honesty is not actually wanted or appreciated…but I really don’t like lyin’.  (yeah, I am the one who will actually say, yes, yer ass looks fat in that- but if its the truth, its the truth- and if people actually care, well, then they deserve to know- I figure if they didn’t wanna know they wouldn’t ask!)  So yeah, this kinda huge epic lie being seen as okay- even if it may be in some manner….merciful…stuns me.  If folk will lie about shit like that, what else are they just totally comfortable lying about?  I mean folk who will lie about something that serious, well, I kinda figure they might also lie about if they have STD’s or not, drug habits, jobs, criminal records, and pretty much any and every other thing a potential Significant Other might wanna know and find relevant before agreeing to be in a relationship with ’em.

And yep, sure enough, the fact that feminists are supporting this  grimly amuses me.  If someone utterly disregarded a woman’s consent or choice like this- they’d be ready to hang some fuckers.  But hey, Ted’s a dude, right, so no harm no foul.  So much for freakin’ equality, right?  These are also the same folk who say if a man lies to a woman about anything serious that pertains to him (see the std, criminal record, so on, above) well then, heck, if he even sleeps with a woman with those lies in place, some of ’em will call it rape because she might not have consented to sex with him if she knew the truth…I guess once again, Ted, who is a dude, don’t get the same consideration.

Goddamn this shit is STILL sickening me and pissing me right the hell off.  It takes a lot to truly disgust me- but this has done it!

This shit disgusts me….

Posted: July 14, 2011 in Assholes, women

Flat out, disgusts me.

I generally cannot and do not get behind MRA whining, but for real, any woman who knowingly lies to a dude about a kid being his when she knows the kid isn’t or there is a chance the kid isn’t is a fucking selfish lying scumbag and nothing but.  If a man knowingly chooses to raise/adopt a child who is not his?  Good on him.  If he is tricked and lied to?  Well fuckin’ shame on her and yeah, heaps of contempt.  There is no reason, no excuse, nothing that justifies that shit.  A woman who pulls that crap is making the foundation for numerous relationships a big fat lie and causing all sorts of damage. 

There is no defense for this. No defense, and no exucse, and any woman who pulls this shit is sure as hell makin’ the rest of us look bad.  Period.

Things worth living for…

Posted: July 14, 2011 in Personal

Include a decent nights sleep.  Which is a rarity for me.  Yet, I managed to get one last nite.  Yesterday was a day full of stress and grrr for me, and its hot outside, and my bedroom is up in this loft thing in the highest part of the house, so even at midnight it can be 85 degrees up there, even with the AC and ceiling fan going.  Add to that the fact that I cannot sleep if I am not under the covers, period.  Makes for some ugghh….

BUT, last night, well, I stayed up watching Sons of Anarchy until one am or so, then actually hit the hot tub for about an hour- thusly, after getting out everything felt cool, then I took my huge ass industrial grade floor fan and set it up right at the foot of my bed and cranked it, got in bed around 3 am, got under the covers….and slept like the dead until 9:30 am.  That’s like a whole 6 and a half hours of sleep- with no waking up for more than a few seconds!  Which for me, after a day of ugghhh, is a TOTAL WIN.   IF  I could pull that shit off nightly, I’d be good. 

I am totally hoping the mojo flows again this evening.    I got a couple art things I NEED to do, I hope to knock ’em out tonite (while watching Sons of Anarchy) then actually sleep again.  Two in a row is asking for a lot, I know, but I so got my fingers crossed!

You see this shit? It’s mine!

Posted: July 14, 2011 in Sharon

So yeah, my cat amuses me.  I had need to wash a bathroom rug, and then I threw it over the handle bars of the exercise bike which has sat unused since I hurt my back.  My cat Sharon has decided this is the greatest fuckin’ thing since wet cat food and toys with ‘nip in ’em.  She has claimed both items, and the claws serve as a warning when one gets too close….more than the couch, or her favorite chair, or her favorite window, or her cat bed, or the back of my desk chair- THIS is the New Domain, and woe be tied the idjit that dare try and mess with the new domain!

An ugly old bathroom rug and exercise equipment makes for a happy hair ball- and frankly, I needed stupid cat amusement today….

Hey, don’t touch the rug!

(and other assorted ramblings)

So, to start- some real life shit:  That second shot that hurt like the Devil?  It also worked.  I would say after two of ’em, my back is about 60% better than it was.  It still really hurts when it really hurts- but it really hurts less and overall is not so much of a downer.  I figure one, maybe two more, and it will prolly be as good as it gets.  The real annoyance now is- when I bother to take anything when it really hurts?  Well, painkillers do their job but damn to they cause havoc on the guts.  I prolly have lost 5-10 pounds simply because I have a hard time eating and keeping things down, or if a I do, well…er…then they don’t wanna process and leave the body as they should.  And fuck it,yeah, I am one of those people who is aware of what my body looks like and what my weight is- but kinda in the opposite way a lot of folk are.  For me, ideally in both form and function, I do best when I am between 100-110 pounds.  My normal balanced weight seems to be about 103.  I think I might, with my boots on and loaded pockets, weight about 95 right now.  Not thrilled, and being somewhat wiry and bony by nature- well, it don’t look right and I can tell. 

Aside from the physical shit, got other shit going on too.  Way more drama than I like at all.  One of my best friends, who I care about a whole lot and would do pretty much anything for- right now all we seem to do is fight and upset/piss each other off and its such a fucked up situation and its gotta change- but not sure how to pull that off and not sure if it can even be fixed/salvaged/whatever.  A couple of my other really good friends are all pissed off at eachother…one is freakin’ others out because they are a stressed out ball of misery who is personally bringing everyone down feeling wise, and via interaction with others always managing to come off wrong and like a self-important micromanaging jerk-but then very upset and complainy about situations of their own doing- and the others…either hair trigger tempers and no idea how to phrase shit civilized or soo shy they ain’t ever gonna talk about shit that is bothering ’em to anyone’s face.  Drama and angst all around which I don’t want or need at all for a variety of reasons- from I hate a lot of this drama or folk I like hurting and well, truly, these days this sorta thing truly doesn’t help me health wise at all.   But my friends are my friends, and even when I wanna choke them- I have their backs.  Scorpio Loyalty can be a damn killer.

Okay, moving on….while often it is prolly evident in a lot of what I do choose to talk about- from guns to drugs to the sex biz to a lot of other shit- I don’t ever actually blog about politics, in general or my own.  I mean, I have said I am a libertarian and I am- which hey, means automatic shitting on intentional or not….I love her to death but while reading over at Daisy’s she had a comment about thinking someone must have money and privilege and be a libertarian, and how you had to have 2 degrees to even be let in….which sure enough, I do in fact have 2 degrees (but you know, never saw a requirement for that when becoming one) and well, yeah, not so much with the other privilege or money.  In real life, a lot of my friends are right leaning or full on Republicans- many are libertarians like me, and yep, some are democrats of the most liberal sort.  My family?  ALL Republicans but ONE aunt  (none are rich however!) Here in blog land?  Most of my readers (not all, but most) well, tend to be very liberal- more so than I for certain- but yeah, sure enough, here in the Wide World of Blog; libertarians- all of ’em- get shit on and are assumed to be arrogant idiot wanna be intelligent big word using cold blooded snobs who are rolling in the good things of life and selfish as hell…

Hummm.   Cold blood maybe, and arrogant sometimes, but that other stuff?  Not so much.  Hell, I am a ton more conservative than a whole lotta people who apparently read and like this blog.  I mean heck- I don’t trust the government, or the legal system, and I think a shit ton of the social programs we have now in place to help people suck eggs and are abused by those using them.  I have a very…interesting….and prolly not popular…opinion on immigration.  I am pro-death penalty and harsher consequences for violent criminals.  And I puke every time I hear the words “gun control”.  I suspect there are folk out there who assume I have read “the Turner Diaries”  (Which I will say, I have not. )  Yet I think gay folk should be able to get married like het people, I think drugs should be legal, sex work decriminalized, I do not care what two of age and consenting people do in their bedrooms, our school system sucks, and everyone should be able to get medical care…. So yeah, being a libertarian ain’t about being an over educated wealthy better than thou snot.  It just fits best with my own personal politics, which are right leaning in some ways and very lefty in others.  And just like everyone I have reasons and experiences that have formed my thoughts on this. 

But yeah, that shit in mind there- it stuns me how So Many People will judgement call ya and think you are what you aren’t when you mention your politics.  Hell, Daisy knows I’m a cracker who, well, embraces the crackerness and is not exactly swimmin’ in the privilege and shit- but I am also a libertarian- so…eh, stereotypes piss me the fuck off in general I guess, and humans vex me.  I also don’t get judging a person solely by their politics.  Hell, two of my good friends. brothers, who grew up poor and wild in Buffalo NY have grown up and become Tea Party types- I shit you not.  Do I agree with them politically?  Uh no.  Do I still like them and enjoy their company and have fun with them- even when we do argue politics?  Hell yeah.  They are good hard working fellas who are funny and always willing to lend a hand if needed and I have known them for years….so the fact that they are heavy duty church going types who think Palin is awesome is not gonna change my overall opinion of them. 

And since I am already off on politics and humans and such, I am just gonna go ahead and say it.  Politically Correct and stuff:  SNerk.  Okay, a while back I heard some celebrity (who is a giant hypocrite) say the Last Bastion of Acceptable Making Fun of was fat people.  This is bullshit.  Yes, fat people get made fun of an it is wrong, but by in large people are becoming more sensitive to overweight people and their feelings.  Just as now it is unacceptable and can have serious ramifications to be openly racist, or anti gay, or religiously intolerant, or grossly sexist, or all of those other PC things, it is also becoming unbecoming to be fat phobic.  Tolerance of all people, in all shapes and sizes and of all colors and religions is- well, hell, turn on your TV- its a hot topic and forefront social issue.  However, there is still one Group of People it is totally good, funny, fine entertainment, edgy and cool to make fun of.  And that group is “those people” -ala my tag.  Poor white folk, hillbillies, hicks, rednecks, white trash, whatever.  It is still Totally Okay and Awesome to make fun and assume about them as often as much and as loudly as You Like.  You can hit them with everything!  Accusations of racism, low intelligence, crime, drug usage, inbreeding, violence, bad fashion sense, bad accents, low morals, lack of ambition and productivity, utter lack of character, and being a few steps behind on the evolutionary ladder.  All of that is fair game, funny, and all good in whole lot of peoples books.  People who would never, for a variety of reasons – from knowing it is wrong to fearing it would get their asses beaten- never ever ever throw out a racist epitaph, make a rude gay joke, call someone an unkind religious slur, fat bash, or any of that other stuff will still, gladly and thinking it is funny, trash on “those people”.  So, the two-face hypocrite celebrity who said this, and anyone else who agrees with her are either stupid or being willfully ignorant  (and see, it would be okay for someone to call my cracker ass ignorant, cause well, I’m one of those people!) because the simple fact is- while all other isms are unsavory and not politically correct, classism and stereotypes and hate is still totally acceptable, funny and fine- so long as it is thrown at the Right People.

So yeah, seems these days my brain doesn’t work unless someone else kicks it.  Today Hugo has a post up about BDSM- and as usual- the stereotypical assumption of male as sadist female as masochist seems to be whats what.  So after reading and commenting, I got to thinking about a post I had been pondering, but is a dicey one, even discussed the pros and cons with Joan, and well, fuck it.

In my personal life, I am a switch, when I did such things professionally, I only did them on the dominant level.   Personally, in all things sex related except BDSM, I prefer men, professionally- eh, I did not much care- which is to say I am straight in all forms of anything sexual except…BDSM.  And I am only not-straight in that aspect when I am the dominant/sadistic one.    And you know what?  I ain’t alone in that. Regardless of what anyone wants to tell you, women who prefer that side of the coin are not unicorns, are not all professionals, and very much do exisit.    They also deserve to be recognized.  I mean I swear to god- all the speculation aimed at sadists is always all about the men, and wondering if they can really be good guys or are two steps from serial killers, if they really just *like* hurting women, blah blah blah blah always and forever even on feminist spaces all about the fucking men.  It amuses and annoys the fuck outta me at the same time. 

And I smirk at this shit.  Hell, privately and professionally I have done some crazy shit, from using a dudes leg as an ashtray to, well, specifically being chosen to be the overly violent aggressor in someone elses rape fantasy.  That was actually my professional speciality.  And not all those people who have asked/paid me to- well- fantasy rape them- have been women. Have many?  Yes.  Have I had dudes, some for fun and some for money, who have in essence wanted me to make them my prison bitch for a few hours?  Yep.  And I will also say flat out I enjoy that shit- and NOT just cause its what they like or want to.  Nor do I personally care for the dress up in cool outfits light spanky tie up games either…if I am gonna hit someone…I’m gonna hit ’em. 

Does that make me a horrible vile person who folk should run screaming from or at least wonder about my motives?  Nahh…cause I totally don’t exist or have violent urges and fantasies and act ’em out with consenting people cause I don’t have  a dick!  (Well, not real one anyway…I got some fake ones that have drawn blood…but not the real thing- so, no matter!)

Pfft.  Humans.