Archive for April 20, 2011

Greetings from the Swamp…

Posted: April 20, 2011 in Personal, The Funny

So, well, I’m down in FL taking a vacation and staying with my parents.  My parents have lived in the same house here in FL since 1986 or so…bought it for REAL cheap (65,000) because…well…previous owners?  Murder/Suicide- amazing how that shit will drop property values!  Anyway, this house is one of those places I have a love / hate relationship with.  My folks talk endlessly about selling it and moving to something smaller  (going price these days in this part of FL would be about 120…which for 5 bedrooms, 3 full baths, a two car garage, a pool….and something very very few other houses in FL have- a basement- seems like a freakin’ steal to me, but hey, I live in North VA where shit is just too dang expenesive period.)  And Mr. E and I have also long disucssed figuring out a way to, er, take it off thier hands when they do decide to sell…because face it, having a place in FL- considering how often we come here and how often folk we know come here- could be kinda cool…but so yah, there is the love.  I like a lot about this place….its big, my folks have over the years have done a lot of work on it- new floors, new roof, new pipes– but a lot would still need to be done- the pool needs work, the deck needs to be replaced, and while I live for that shit…well…it would end up being a lot of time and money….

There is also the killer almost deal breaker for me…location.  My folks place is about 40 minutes North of Orlando…about 5 minutes into the “Snakes and Rednecks” portion of FL, but WAY TOO CLOSE to the “Tourists and Disney” section of the state for me…sure enough- great for guests, hell, yer 40 minutes from Mickey Mouse (ugh) and Sea World (not so ugh) and Universal (great rollercoasters), and about 30 minutes from Daytona (beaches and racing and motorcycles, woohoo!) …if I were ever gonna come back to this state, I’d prefer to live in the Tampa area or…further north  (more snakes and rednecks, less Disney and Tourists…and well, a much shorter drive to Rooties  hahahahaaha!)

Anyway, I have always laughed about this house….and when we first moved here, there was an instance where my father, my brother and myself had need to get up on the roof to fix something….and now I got a visual for ya….

Note edge of roof…note deep end of pool  (12 feet deep, also a rarity in FL)….well, you KNOW we had to do it…it seemed like a BRILLIANT idea at the time…and there were no injuries…until my Mom got word and nearly killed all three of us….so far as I know, no one has made that leap since for fear of a 5’3″ 120 pound woman with a killer maternal instinct….oh, and in case you EVER had any doubt that FL, even near the Disney Parts, was still just a big ass Swamp full of snakes, bugs, and gators…a photo of the Non-Concrete part of their backyard….I am convinced there may actually BE Japanese in there who do not know the war is over….