Archive for March, 2011

One, I gotta say, since I shut down the old joint I have really noted who has kinda stayed around because well, holy crap, I am more than the sum of my former bloggy goodness…and its kinda cool because who reads here is kind of a diverse bunch, I like that.  And yeah, I was happy to see AntiPrincess pop up and comment (heya AP, how you been?)  Need more Kim thou…never enough Kim in blogland.  But yah, digging the diversity of folk around this blog these days.

Other things of note worthy diggness:  Have y’all seen the movie “Winter’s Bone”?  If not, I cannot recommend it enough.  I really, really liked it, in so much that I plan to own it, and probably read the book it was adapted from.  There were a million different things that I liked about this film, from the music to the style of film to the characters, but something I was very impressed with was…aside from the lead character being a pretty tough cookie, and a young woman…the whole cast?  Real Looking People.  None of this glammed up Hollywood BS where the actress playing our decidedly NOT glamorous lead had to be hawt and made up and perfect, all of the actors in this flick, every single one of them…looked like a real person.  They fit the story.  This thrilled me beyond words.  So yeah, see this movie, the God Emperor of Rome Commands It! 

And speaking of the non-glam Win of “Winter’s Bone”, Joan Kelly has a post up that I love more than…well, okay, no…there are very few things on this earth I love more than biscuits and gravy…but well, I like it a whole lot.    One, anyone who actually manages to quit smoking has tons more willpower than I, and two…its a good post.  I really, truly, honestly myself do not care if, how, or when various women do or do not engage in femininity in all its various forms.  I honestly think there are women who absolutely enjoy it, and those who absolutely hate it and do it only because they have too, and some who sometimes feel both those ways about it depending on time or reasons…but sure enough, I do not think for a second that it something that women are not encouraged, pushed, guided, heck, even forced into, and I sure as heck do think there are consequences for non-compliance…from outright aggression and ridicule to, well, being rendered invisible to…well…everyone.

It’s also a subject I personally have very mixed feelings on.  I think it is stupid that it is forced on women and they are so harshly judged due to compliance or non compliance.  I think it is flat out disgusting that things like “sexy clothes” and make up and diets and nail/hair salons and stuff are pushed onto girl children at a mind-blowingly young age.  IMHO, there is NO dang reason that young girls need micro mini skirts and super low rise skinny jeans, or sparkly glitter lipstick, or appointments to get their hair highlighted, or any of that shit…and it is all out there and happening  (I mean, heaven for fend girl kids just get to be kids for awhile before they have to worry about being pretty and hot and skinny and perfect and having a boyfriend and shit like that…grumble).  I know how absolutely horrible teenage girls can be to each other over everything…and at that age, so many girls end up with so many issues because they are being picked on for being too heavy, or not pretty enough, or having boobs that are too small or too big , or not having the latest trendy clothes, make up and hair styles, and well, just about every other dang thing you can imagine. …

Yet, I also know how much easier a great many things can be for you if you are considered conventionally attractive or pretty or hawt or whatever.  I know because I have, and always have had, thin privilege that my life is easier for it…and totally true and honest?  You know what…I’ve not much ever feared getting grey hair, or some wrinkles, or having scars (good thing, eh?), or a bunch of other things…but I have- since I was aware enough to notice- feared ever being overweight.  Why?  Because I have seen how heavy people, esp, women, are treated and talked about.  And it sucks.  I also dang well know that…aw screw all the long explanations and stuff:  consider my job.  It pays to be seen as attractive.  literally.  Conforming to the heels, thin, make up and long hair and femmey femme fem stuff makes life a shit ton easier a whole heck of a lot of time.

And growing up I missed the worst of it I think because one: thin, two: tom boy, three: couldn’t afford any of the trendy fashiony popular pretty girl shit anyway, so I never even had the chance to get caught up in that rat race bs teenager shit.  Thank God, I think.  But be that as it may…

No one gets outta the forced femmy machine unscathed.  I may ignore a lot of it these days;  I rarely wear make up (but you know, I do think I look better when I do), my hair..well, shit, its lucky if it gets washed once a week, let alone preened over very often, I generally dress like one of those spooky backwoods militia people (but I do dress up sometimes, and have several pairs of heels, and a ton of sexxxxay stuff), and you know what?  While I might scare people in my general civilian wardrobe…I absolutely and without a doubt get treated better when I am Girled-Up…by both men and women alike  (unless of course, I look er, slutty, then the guys might be nice and chatty, but the gals can get mean and catty).  And I admit without shame but with absolute knowledge that it wasn’t my original idea that I shave/wax.  Obsessively.  Now, since I have been doing it for so long I actually feel uncomfortable if I do not, and have developed such an aversion to body hair that I don’t just do the normal woman deal (legs, pits, womanly bits, eyebrows, whatever), hell, I wax my dang forearms and shit…but I wonder if I never had, or if it was not what women did, if I would be bothered by body hair at all?  And see, that right there, that’s the killer of it all right there:  Women have hair.  On places other than their heads.  It is natural.  It is the way they are made.  Body hair is about as real, full on womanly woman as you get.  Just like sweat, periods,wrinkles that come with nature, gravity having its way with breasts, grey hair, morning breath, acne or dry skin, scars, stretch marks, and everything else that goes on with women…a lot of which goes on with men too….but Being Feminine?  Hell, that means lying about being a woman and what goes on with us naturally and hiding all that natural shit under make up and hair dye and perfume and brazilian waxes  (which, btw, that shit hurts).

But a lot of us do it.  Sometimes. Full time.  Whatever.  Why?  Because it makes us feel better.  Why?  Because then we get noticed, or fit in…or at least are not as often singled out for ridicule…and I cannot nor will not ever blame someone for wanting to avoid that shit.  But is sure as shit ain’t fair.  Might not even be sane.  I sure as shit bet most dudes wouldn’t do it.  The one great truth however is that being feminine has shit all to do with being a woman.

Wow, that actually turned into a post…I can dig that too.

I am beginning to think…

Posted: March 22, 2011 in Assholes, Gaming

I could write a master’s thesis on sexism in gaming.  That, however, would require far more effort than I am willing to put forth at this time and juncture.  It suffices to say, intentionally or not, dudes can be total sexist douchebags in the realm of gaming.  There may be a post on this later, but who knows.

Name your Poison

Posted: March 15, 2011 in Drugs & Rock n Roll, Personal

So, I did a lot of thinking before I decided to write this post…been sorta waiting around for input from folks I’d asked opinions of and shit like that, but I ain’t heard back and am tired of waiting around for responses that may or may not ever come…which is a whole different rant in the making I suppose.  I dunno, when folk solicit my opinion or advice about something they want to write, I try to get back to them in a timely fashion…hell, I try to be timely and responsible in general…but I gotta stop holding other folk to the standards I try to keep up myself, ’cause that shit just lends itself to being disappointed…and shit, currently due to my dang back, I can’t be as active or timely or whatever as I’d like to be…so I suppose the same shit happens to other people too.

Anyway, moving on, let’s talk some more about drugs, shall we?  The reason I agonized and thought long and hard about making this post at all is because hey, I’m gonna discuss my own shit here, which may explain to some degree my opinions on my other drug posts!  Imagine that?  In any event, here we go, drugs and such, through the personal lense and all that.

In my day, I have done my fair share of them.  It’s kinda funny because I did not do anything, including drinking and smoking cigarettes and whatnot, until I was in college.  That’s right, no booze, no weed, none of that craziness until I was pretty dang close to legal.  Heck, one of my grin and say it sayings has been “there is a time and a place for everything, and it is called college” for a long time.  Once in college, and for a few years after that, I tried and did a lot of shit…the kind of experimentation I think a lot of late teen to mid-twenties types do.  I smoked weed, tried things like acid, ecstasy and mushrooms, I drank, tried coke, did speed, smoked opium once, and even one and one time only, tried heroin.  And I can tell ya, I had no desire to ever try that shit again.  As I got older my curiosity about anything and everything faded, I’d tried a lot of shit and figured out what I liked, and I learned that the stuff I liked?  Well, best to be careful with it, because I liked it…and liking any drug too much is just asking for trouble.  I’ve known, I know, I’ve seen, and I see enough folk who were addicts, or addicts, or struggle endlessly with addiction to know that it’s not a place I ever want to find myself.  That doesn’t mean however that I did not occasionally use drugs casually, and sure enough, I still do from time to time.  Heck, I’m on prescribed pain killers currently (which can be fun, but you know, I have those for a reason-that reason being pain) but sometimes, life calls for a little something extra or different…and sure enough, I will occasionally allow myself that.

So yeah, what is that extra I sometimes allow myself anyway?  I’m sure friends and foes alike are dying to know and shit (heh).  Once in a long, long while I will smoke weed, but it’s not now nor has it ever been my thing.  I think I last took acid about 12 years ago…been longer since I had ecstasy or almost everything else really.  But when I do indulge, well, like all folk who use-occasionally or more than occasionally-  I have my favorite.  And you can cringe or whatever if you want, but yep, sure enough, I like speed, and my favorite form there of, well, yeah, its meth.  I like it.   I rarely do it because I like it, but if I’m going to use something…that will be it.  Heck, there is a reason I can write convincing fiction about people who use it…because I know how it is when you do…from the sweating to the teeth grinding to everything else.

And yes, I do realize the oddity of it all;  I’m by nature a tightly wound, insomnia having, teeth grinding, overly wired wee ball of C4 in a skinsuit…in short the last person on earth who should like or want to do any kind of speed, much less that kind…but well, I do.

And before anyone says shit, no, I never used it when working, actually.  Being a sweaty teeth grinding jittery ball of tweeker joy is NOT good for business in my business…if I’m gonna do it, I prefer to be in my basement with my television and power tools and computer and lots of soda and cigarettes, thanks!

So why did I decide to Name My Poison anyway?  I guess cause I feel like if I am gonna talk about drugs, I might as well talk about them. As for people who are gonna lie and talk shit?  Well, can’t stop them from doing it anyway, so who really gives a fuck, right?

And nah, I don’t mean of whiskey!

So, odd question here for the folks playing along at home, and going on back to the drug topic now….when folk you know, or heck, strangers, ask you if you use drugs or what kinds of drugs you use, do you fess up, lie, or uphold your right to not self-incriminate?  Does it depend on the person or setting?  Does it depend on the drug – as in, you will admit to smoking weed but not admit that hey, when the weekend rolls around and the mood hits ya, you might not be adverse to a bit of blow or some special mushrooms?  How do y’all handle questions and discussions about your own personal useage…if you use at all?

Also, how do you apply the concept of strata to drugs, drug use, and drug users?  Do you have a ranking system as for what is acceptable, what is tolerated, and what is outta the dang question?  Do you view people differently because of the drugs they do- for instance, does a person who smokes weed a couple times every day stack up differently in your head to a person who parties up with coke, X (E), or Special K on the weekends?  Do certain sorts of drugs or drug users scare, shock, offend you more than others?  Talk to me here people, I get curious about this kinda shit.

With me, it is a very “depends on” kinda situation.   Mostly cause people can be assholes.  Previous bloggy experience has proven to me that folk will assume (correctly or incorrectly) any gal who is now or has ever been a stripper or whatever has GOT to be a drug addict, and with those folk, a gal in that business who says “yeah, I’ve been known to smoke some weed with my friends now and then” suddenly equals a poor desperate soul in the business to pay for her crushing heroin addiction (rolls eyes).   This always sorta amused me because I am pretty certain a lot of the folk who are so quick to accuse gals in the sex biz of being addicts have prolly smoked more pot or consumed more booze or done more kinds of whatever than I have, let alone other women in the business of bein’ naked….but they, of course, do not have “drug problems”….

I also, personally, find the caste system of users interesting: In my head, an addict is an addict.  Doesn’t much matter what the drug is, if it is legal or not, so on, so forth…if one is an addict, one is an addict.  And yes, depending on the person and their addiction, well, some can be a shit ton more unpleasant to deal with than others for certain (heh, you put a pot head with no weed in the same room with a cigarette smoker with no smokes and I can pretty much promise the person jonesing for the legal drug is gonna be far more hostile and scary than the person lacking the illegal one…).  But I have found this sorta stratification happens to people who are not addicts too.  I mean, it seems to me that folk who are even just casual, even very casual, users of various drugs get classified and looked at very differently by a lot of people.  To me it’s never made much of a difference or rated a different reaction out of me.  I mean, if I know two people are casual users of whatever, and one says they occasionally smoke weed and one says they occasionally smoke crack…I pretty much consider them to be the same thing:  casual drug users.  With other folk, this is not so.  If you are one of the Not So folk and you don’t mind explaining why, I’d love to hear it…

And on that note, I will myself to ingest no caffeine at this hour ’cause I do wanna sleep eventually!

…but first, a few random thoughts and things that go through my head at 4:26 am when, well, its me, I don’t sleep.

And I preface this with I am anti-social and everything.  But you know, being anti-social, I’ve never figured that was something I can whip out as an excuse when I am an asshole.  And trust me, I am an asshole a lot…but when I am an asshole, you know, I sorta expect people to be like “”Jesus Fuck, Ren, you are bein’ an asshole!”, to wit, I would say “Well, yeah, I am an asshole, why does this shock you?”  I mean, I’d own up to being an asshole and say yep, I reckon you pegged me right there…and not make excuses for it or figure any sorta oddness with my wiring was a reason for folk not to just say “You are an ASSHOLE!”  So…after I have been out and about reading in bloganistan, which I really should not do, I have begun to wonder:  Are there legit reasons that some people get to act like freakin’ assholes and other people seem so hesitant to call them on it?  I mean, if you can put a check in a certain column, does that mean ya get a get outta assholery jail free card?  How does that work?  Is there some privilege or lack of privilege that makes assholery more acceptable for some than others?  Is it a guilt thing?  So and so faces strife X for condition Y so, well, we feel bad about X and Y so, well, they get to be assholes and go unchecked on that?  Is that how that shit works?  If so, butter my ass and call me a biscuit, cause I got a whole shit ton of X’s and Y’s that should gimme an Assholery with Impunity Card!


And another thing, as y’all know from a few entries down, I object to outting and threats because that shit is wrong no matter who it happens to, but ya know, this recent bout regarding outting and threats kinda makes me all grimly amused ala my buddy The Comedian, cause you know, when that shit happened to me there were only a hand full of people who had my back or even said one freakin’ word about it or publically “broke ranks” to call out one of their own’s assholery or any of that shit…and some of the folk who did it?  I always suspected and now kinda know that the only reason they said shit all about it was because it served their own agenda.  True enough for all things in life:  some people are solid, and most people just ain’t.

Hell, I remember even in more recent history when I was asked to “prove it”, and I did, and then the entire entry with every linked bit of actual proof was DELETED by the person who asked because the fuckin’ proof was just too upsetting to the delecate fee-fees of the fuckin’ hyenas who cheered on my own personal wolf-packing. 

Smirk, and people wonder why I like guns?

Anyway, we’ll spark up the drug talk soon enough again anyway, I’m just wonderin’ how much I wanna give the hyneas to chew on.

Another Hit…

Posted: March 7, 2011 in Drugs & Rock n Roll

So I suppose as I sit here typing away on the beginning of my second post about drugs its kinda ironic that I’m watching “Intervention”, but well, yeah, I am…I admit it, Iwatch the show.  Look at me funny all ya want, I do.  Anyway, as “Intervention” goes on in the background I am gonna share my answer to what to do about all the legal issues and what not surrounding drugs.  My solution?  Get ready for it:  Decriminalize all that shit.  Yep, you heard me right…not just weed, but ALL of it.  Too much money is spent on the stupid can’t ever be won “war on drugs” and too many pretty harmless people who oh, do drugs, are sitting in prison when we got rapists and murders doing less time.  And yeah I hear you now…but Ren…but before you but Ren me, hear me out…the dope fiend that steals your car stereo for drug money?  Um, theft is still theft.  DUI is still DUI.  All those crimes that folk on drugs may commit to get those drugs…still crimes…but hell, locking people up for doing drugs?  Pfft.  Freakin’ stupid.  And locking people up for selling drugs?  Yeah, we’ve done a great job on that one too..and keeping all that drug shit illegal?  Hummm, hasn’t stopped people from doing drugs either now, has it?  So yeah…IMHO, drugs should be a legal non-issue.  I’m not saying legalize drugs, but yeah…you get the idea.

The simple thruth is, after all, people who want or need to use drugs are gonna do so, legal or not.  And a whole lotta money is spent to…not keep people from buying, selling, or doing drugs.  A whole lotta time and money is spent locking up people who are, well, rather harmless drug users.  Do some users lie, cheat, steal, do violent things?  Yeah, they do.  Do bad things sometimes happen to people who use drugs?  Yeah, they do.  Do bad things happen to a lot of folk who are around people who do drugs?  Yeah, that too.  But see, harsh laws on the using of drugs themselves doesn’t do much to change that now, does it?

Heck, my feelings on drug use are a lot like they are on a great many other fronts:  what adult people do in their own houses so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else is their own dang business…and not anyone elses.  Non-Adult people doing drugs, or adult people doing them in a way that screws with other people…eh, my feelings are different there.  But that my friends may be another post…


Posted: March 6, 2011 in The Funny

Okay, this one goes out to my Canadian readers, namely Xena, who cracked my shit up by compairing the relationship between Canada and the US to one between a quiet, nerdy little sister (canada) and her older, moonshine swilling, loudmouth asshole brother (USA) who is constantly out picking fights and being a dick and leaving her with all the messes to clean up and explaining to do.   I guess Canada is the Lisa Simpson of the world.  SO, anyway, in honor of Canadians, I share the following tale.

Myself and Mr. E have a very good friend who, well, since we have known him, have refered to offhandedly as The Toronto Kid  (its like his Super Hero Name  lol).  TTK has been a friend of ours for years- good guy, funny, smart, knows everything one could ever possibly know about music, so on so forth, we like the TTK.  Well, at one point and time TTK and his girlfriend came down from Toronto to visit us here in…Virginia.  TTK has lived in the states before, but far prefers Canada.  His lady had maybe been to the US once before (School trip when she was a tweener, I think) and did not, in any way, have a high opinion of the US or Americans.  Anyway, they wanted to go to this big ass industrial music club in DC, so we made arrangements to go, and I was like “We are leaving at 8:30, I want to BE THERE by 9 so we can get decent parking.” 

And she looked at me like I was nuts.  “Why so early?” she asks, “nothing gets started in Torono ’til at least 10.”

So I explain to her that this place is in a part of DC where you do NOT want to leave your car just out on the street and well, I want to be there for open bar, which ends at 10.

She gives me a perplexed look and asks what open bar is, so I explain that open bar means until 10pm, drinks are free, just tip the bartender.  She is stunned.  SO we leave at 8:30, get good parking, are in the door when it opens at nine, and are headed directly to the bar.  I light up a smoke and she looks at me, once again, stunned.  “You can smoke in here?”

I nod.  Yep, you can. She lights up and follows me to the mythical Open Bar.

So, about an hour later I see her, third very strong screwdriver and cigarette in hand, and she grins at me and loudly proclaims “I LOVE AMERICA!”

I turned to Mr. E with a sage nod and said “See, building World Peace through Open Bar.”

So see, sometimes even the asshole loudmouth older bro can show his little sis a good time, even though it did involve swilling moonshine   🙂

Because people who don’t often bother to read fuck all I say are around and hey, maybe since there is drama here they might, and well, because I am sick o’ drama and have a twisted sense of humor, I now totally change the subject and proudly present:

The Difference Between a Pot Head & A Drug User
Ren & Friends, Circa 1995 or so…and ammended over time…

Pot Heads, well, a lot of them ONLY smoke pot.  Drug Users, while all have their preferences, use drugs, plural.
Pot Heads tend to be mellow, they like to chill.  Drug Users tend to be a bit more intense, active, and tightly wound.
Pot Heads often think they are better than drug users…they are (or at least think they are, esp when stoned) more intelligent, of higher class and status, than Drug Users.
Pot Heads often veiw their smoking as a social activity (even if they are hardcore smokers who are, gee, addicted), and tend to be very good about sharing what they have with others, or everyone putting shit from their stash into the community bowl.  Drug Users often do not like to share, do not play well with others, and know EXACTLY how much of  whatever they have put in, and exactly how much others are contributing…and they take that shit seriously and make very detailed notes about who is greedy, who mooches, and who is asking for a handout… Pot Heads share their shit, Drug Users?  It’s THEIR shit, and woebetied the fucker who gets up in and over indulges in THEIR shit!
Pot Heads dislike conflict and are rarely wired up or violent.  Drug Users will throw down faster than a Pot Head can spark up, tend to always be wired up, and can be very violent.
If one Pot Head is holding another Pot Head’s stash, it is considered standard for the holder to take a holding fee, right outta the stash.  If a Drug User is even not paranoid to let another Drug User hold their shit, they give up the holding fee up front and will damn well know if any of their shit is missing!
Pot Heads often do not like being around Drug Users, Drug Users get annoyed around pot heads.
Pot Heads are munchy and dont mind a bit of a mess about the house.  Drug users rarely eat and may even clean compulsively.
Pot Heads Wake and Bake, Drug Users Crash and Burn.
Pot Decorum dictates that one, after purchasing their ganja, smokes up with their dealer.  Drug Users take their shit and GO!
Its okay to make sudden moves around and approach Pot Heads, doing so with Drug Users may be dangerous.
Pot Heads get pudgy, Drug Users get lean.
Pot Heads tend to be Liberals, Drug Users fall all over the spectrum.
Both can be paranoid as fuck.
Pot Heads are snobs, Drug Users know Pot Heads are just drug users too!

I’ve also noticed the class race and gender type stereotypes that lurk around those who do drugs and are part of that culture, some are amusing even, but most of em…eh…about as useful as stereotypes tend to be…so here we go…

Rich people do coke.
Rich White Ladies do valium and booze.
Poor White Folk do Meth.
Poor Black Folk do Crack.
(Apparently, Asian people do not do drugs at all!)
Tortured Artists do Heroin.
Only women get addicted to pain killers.  (snerk, hello Rush, this one came from you, didn’t it?)
Everyone smokes pot, or has at least tried it, and inhaled.
Only in big cities with hardcore party people do you find true speedballs.
The mating cry in rural communities across the US is to shake a Xanax bottle and say “Come and get it!”
Dudes who do drugs are addicts, users, junkies or -insert name of drug here- heads…gals always get the lovely honor of being called “-insert name of drug here-whores”  (Pfft, like DUDES never oh, suck dick for money to buy drugs?  WTF?!?!?!?)
ALL people who do drugs will end up addicts.

This will prolly at some point lead on to another drug post, but for now….well, the first one’s free  😉


So yeah, recent shit in Netganistan is causing my overworked and highly underpaid grey matter to spin out like a fuel injected dervish all over the place.  And in theory I get intersectionality (is that even really a word?) and all that stuff….but you know what?

I think people write and analyze best what they know, and that there are certain experiences in life that one can hear about, or empathize with, or understand on various levels, but if they have not, oh, lived them personally, well, they aren’t ever truly going to grok how it is for people who have nor how that dovetails with numerous other facets of life, society and culture.  It just ain’t happenin’.   Present stuff sorta in mind and all…guess what?  I have zero idea what it is like to be a trans person.  I have zero idea what it is like to be a lesbian.  I have zero idea what it is like to be a man.  I have zero idea what it is like to be Non-US American. I have zero idea of what it is like to be black.  I have zero idea what it is like to be over weight.  I have zero idea what it is like to be wealthy.  I have zero idea about what it is like to be a lot of things, and no personal experience to call upon when pondering those things.  Can I imagine what it would be like,  or what issues I might face were shoes traded and all that ?  Sure I can.   Can I educate myself on the matter, ask and learn things?  Sure I can.  But will I ever fully get how it is and how it goes with the rest of life and the world or how it affects things in various ways?  Nope.  I won’t.   That’s why some stuff, well, amuses me in that snarky cynical way of mine.  There truly is just shit out there that makes me roll my eyes and smirk…I do when MRA’s, or hell, Some Male Feminists, talk about women….what they are like, what they are after, what they want, what they need, what they need done to or for them, what is good/bad for them, so on, so forth, as if…you know..maybe us girls couldn’t speak up better on our own behalfs on that shit. Flip that back on over for women who do the “all men are” shit too.  Discussions on class often cause me to blow a damn gasket, cause often they end up with a bunch of holier-than-thou people ‘of class’ telling other people of lower class to check their privilege or mocking their lack of advanced education or getting all preachy on the lower class persons “ignorance’ blah blah fuckity blah….they end up reminding me of a person from my youth, Mrs. Dolan….

sidebar story : Growing up well, as I did there was this woman named Mrs. Dolan who in some way or manner knew my parents.  Mrs. Dolan and her family were, simply put, freakin’ rich.  Huge house, nice cars, kids always dressed in the preppy trendy expensive clothes, the ski trips in Europe, all that shit.  My family?  Yeah, totally none of that.  Now, Mrs.Dolan made a point to look upon us charity cases with “empathy and understanding” and all that shit; she gave us her kids clothes that they had grown out of, would loan us a car when ours wasn’t working, have us over for dinner when, well, no food at our house, so on, so forth…bascially get her good deeds in on us, blah blah blah, but there was always this very there and very evident edge of disdain with her, it wasn’t right there on the surface, but it was there…like even as a kid I knew she thought of us as white trash and all that, figured nothing good would ever come of us or any of that shit…..well yeah, that’s what sooooo many of these people in discussions on class remind me of.  And I will say with evil delight that I laughed my fucking ass off when I found out that while I was working hard to put myself through college and doing well there, her precious princess of a daughter who had treated me the same way, but in that special vicious laced way teenage-ish aged girls are capable of, had barely gotten into college, flunked out when she did, and got freakin’ arrested for shoplifting and writing bad checks.  The little Princess never needed to work, let alone steal because she had too, she did it for the thrill, and fucked it up even!  And oh my, wasn’t this wrong turn in her life scandalous?  Didn’t it reflect poorly on her well-healed family?  Hell yes it did, and I fuckin’ laughed.  So yeah, Mrs. Dolan and her Princess….?  Remind me a fuckton of people out here in the Peoples Republic of Netlandia who talk about class and how it affects….

Cause I suspect a lot of them don’t know what it’s like to be poor.  And I’ve seen a lot of supposedly very open minded and liberal and politically correct folk become classist and bigotted asshats when it comes to, oh, say Southern Folk for instance?  Or Straight, Married Women with Children?  Hell, I could and have ranted about that shit all day…

But yeah, there are a lot of things I can’t, having not lived them, know how they really feel, or how it would impact a person, or how it places them in the world and all that.  I can ask, guess, imagine, learn, empathize, all that….but I cannot KNOW.

I know about being low class, I know about being a sex worker, I know about being -ahem- outspoken, I know about various shit I am, or have been, or lived, or seen or done…that I know.  And I can see how that meshes with the world and other people in it…. but that’s me, in my car, at the intersection….I got no real idea what it’s like for the other drivers….and I am not sure I ever can.

And that right there?  That, I think, often makes understanding itself a very difficult thing.

Does it ever fucking stop?

Posted: March 3, 2011 in WTF???

So, I was over looking and Joan’s blog and it seems some person, a person I do not even know, is being lied about, threatened, outed, and otherwise wolf-packed by other people on line because, well, she has opinions different from those people.  Yes, I realize wars are still being fought today over that kind of thing, but as a person who has, oh, been lied about, threatened with outing and had shit dug up on them by a wolf-packing group of mother fucking assholes (why yes, you idiots, I am WBW and shit!) I gotta say WHEN DOES IT FUCKING STOP AND WHEN DO PEOPLE GROW THE FUCK UP AND REALIZE OTHER PEOPLE ARE GONNA DISAGREE WITH THEM, SAY SHIT THEY DON’T LIKE, BE HARSH OR CAUSTIC and that does not give you the fucking right to endanger them?  HOW FUCKING BASIC IS THAT?

And you know what?  That sorta shit inspires reactionary violence and vitrol.  What do people do when they are threatened or harmed?  Well, a lot of them fight the fuck back in some shape or manner…and will use excessive force to see that it doesn’t happen again.  I mean really, what do you do to someone who keeps stabbing at you?  You put them the fuck down so they STOP.  Phsycially, verbally, legally, illegally, whatever, you END that shit.

So yeah, I really think some people out there need to realize if theydo not ever want to be in a position where THEY are paranoid and worried and not sleeping and in fear and distress…they shouldn’t put OTHER people there.

Idiots.  I swear to god, the word is full of fucking morons.