yeah…

Posted: November 19, 2010 in Uncategorized

Today, or yesterday, depending on your time zone…fuck it, Nov 18th, was my 39th birthday….’

Does that suprise you, what with all my angst and vinegar?

And you know, its funny, i do not mind getting older, I mind getting,,,,deader.  Oh yeah, did I forget to mention I am, as the shrinks say, an anti-social?

Hummm, on the eve o my b-day….I feel dead.  Hows that for a joke?  I think its fucking grimly amusing.

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Comments
  1. hexy says:

    Happy Birthday, awesome one!

  2. rootietoot says:

    Life begins at 40. Take it from someone who knows these things.

  3. Sheniver says:

    But it was a good day, evening, and night. Have music & JD ready for a good evening tonight as well!

  4. Xena says:

    Oops. I think I’m late. Happy birthday Ren.

  5. DebSens says:

    Happy birthday Ren!

  6. Happy Birthday! As rootietoote correctly pointed out, life really begins at 40. Because at that point, you finally realize that nothing really fucken matters. That frees you to focus your efforts on making yourself happy and doing what you can to improve the happiness of other people.

  7. Susan says:

    Happy Birthday, Ren. BTW, did you ever do that Kink.com stint that you applied for? ‘Cuz I’ve never seen you in action B4.

  8. Roy Kay says:

    Didn’t know how to respond to this, really; but finally decided just to wish you a happy birthday AND a happy rest of your life. Alas, no magic wand to conjure it up here. Kind of hoping that those who know you well and love and respect you (and these should be one and the same), can penetrate your armor enough that you can feel it and enjoy it.

  9. Joan Kelly says:

    crap that I am late saying this – I thought I had emailed you on your actual birthday, but checked my sent box and nothing’s there. Sorry that cold medicine and me-me-me-centeredness got in the way of me telling you happy fucking birthday!

    I had a bit of a mid-life crisis when I turned 40, but the choices I made as a result of that feeling of “holy fuck I’m almost dead!” (I know that’s histrionic, I just like to plan ahead) caused me to adopt my twin sister’s new motto for life on our 40th. Which was, FUCK IT, I’M FORTY!

    Of course I would love to be the self that I am now, in a much younger body, to see if that might have been more fun than the self I used to have in it. Since that’s off the table, I must say I do get a helluva kick out of not giving a shit anymore. It hasn’t made me feel free(er) to be an asshole (it’s possible I possess an abundance of such freedom already), it’s that it’s made me feel freer to shrug at any/all demands of my time, energy, etc. Not to be confused with requests or invitations (though I feel free to reject those too if they don’t feel right for me).

    Anyway, I’m guessing you likely never had in the first place, the same issues I used to have, with what gets called in psycho-babble, “people pleasing.” But of the women I know over forty, fifty, etc., even if/when the specifics are different between us, the relief and excitement of feeling total self-ownership seems pretty widespread.

    That’s what makes me feel delighted about getting older/old. I don’t personally subscribe to the “forty is the new thirty” propaganda. But that may well be because I never knew what my 30’s were supposed to be like/feel like anyway? I probably needed to have had a definitive OLD 30’s in order to have a NEW 30’s in my 40’s, ha.

    Hope you had a good birthday, Ren. xoxo

    • Ren says:

      eyeballs icon, I am Rosie, with scars, and if one walks thou the valley, I am the most post apocalytice bitch there, fuck age. Hell, I got set on fire, I snark at death and love life everyday…but I honestly cannot help being antisocial, hell, wish I could…..

      bummer of my life, scoing 7 out of 8 on the sociopath scale, and the 8 was the big one!

      Smirk

  10. rachel cervantes says:

    All the BEST people are born in November!

  11. Happy belated birthday, my love.

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