Archive for April, 2010

Today is…

Posted: April 30, 2010 in Uncategorized

not only Brother Evolution’s b-day (the big 42!~  He and his lady are goin’ to a concert, and the card I sent him was freakin’ hysterical), but ah yes, it was also…

Drumroll please-

First Post Surgery Needles in the Neck Day!  Do I know how to celebrate or what?!  No Painkiller style!

Guess what…it did not hurt.  At all really.  Mayhaps be that having scars which now have scars means there is really not much feeling left there at all, or I am one of the toughest chicks on the planet.  Prolly number one.  I did bleed pretty good thou…and let me tell you- tis too damn hot to be wearing bandages.

And fortunately, this whole thing is requiring less needles than last time.  Nine shots, as opposed to, oh, the double digit amount this shit was requiring before.  I go back next month for round too…

At this rate, I figure the whole ordeal might be over by the time I am celebrating my 42nd birthday…

Apparently, I am funny.  Now granted, you have to have…ahem…a certain type of sense of humor to find me so, but if you do…yeah…funny.

Today whilst stuck in NVA/DC/SMD traffic for 3 and a half FUCKING HOURS I was apparently, both to those in the car and those, er, on the phone, a virtual font of funny.  Now, to me, flashing  fire arm to people who consistantly and without warning, wave, or ANY sense of decorum attempt to merge into your lane- at the last minute, your car be damned- is not funny….it is merely a warning of consquences to come should they continue on with their rude behavior.  I wasn’t even actually DOING this, just saying how it might detract from road rage and send a clear message that, no, you do NOT get to be the FOURTH fucking car to cut in front of me in traffic.

Just a nod, flash the gun, let them know their…er…lack of comportment…has been noted and actions have consequences.

Apparently this was, to those of us who live here and heard about my theory…fuckin’ hysterical.


So I think mayhaps before I die, I should try one of those open mic comedy night things….



Right then, lets roll with some more about the topic at hand…video style.  First, play spot the stereotypes that are applied to all Southerners.  Then play apply the stereotypes that are applied to the people who actually resemble the people in the photos.  Having been on the receiving end of a more than a few myself… I can tell you- stereotypes are often dead fuckin’ wrong.

(Part One)

Right.  So, there was some huff ups and drama and things of that nature in blog world here lately- mostly regarding racism, classism, all kinds of other ism’s and well, shit, if you’re here you probably know exactly what I’m talking about and don’t need a damn highlight reel.

And true enough, I am not ever going to get how a person hates another person because of what color they are- because sure enough, people have zero control over that- one cannot choose what color they are born or countless other things- like being male, or female, tall or short, what state, country or region said birth happens in, so on.  I don’t get hating people for things that are merely subject to the crap shoot of birth.  End of story.  However, I get hating people…hell, I hate people.  Regardless of the crap shoot…I just don’t like ’em…so you know what?  I get hate, and I get people who want to be away from people they do not like, and I get people who want  to do shit different and with those who are more like them.  I posted about women who wanted to be separatists, and guess what…my feelings hold for all people who are of that mind set- be they radical feminists, gay people, people of color, and why yes- even white people.  So long as those folk aren’t hurting other people?  I do not give a shit.  I seriously do not care. 

However, I do find it ironic how people tip-toe around the whole damn subject: separatism and extremists and hate movements and isms and ists of all kinds.  People get all PC and understanding about some shit- all the while ignoring elephant in the room and all that shit.  Face it- a lot of women who want to be women sepratists?  They are of that mind because yep, you guessed it: They Hate Men.  There are People of Color who do not want to be around white people because…yes, they hate white people.  But if white people hate someone???  Holy fuck its an atrocity.  I find that…odd.

There, I fucking said it.    Like I said, I think it is stupid for anyone to hate someone due to the cards they are dealt at birth- but guess what, I think it’s freakin’ stupid ALL around.  And I hate people of all sexes, sexual orientations, colors, religions and regions all the same…because people often act like idiots regardless of those things.  And why yes, I do realize in the wider face of White Male Dominance..blah blah blah blah.  Sigh.  Guess what?  True enough- white men are in fact in charge via politics, business, media, money, and military.  But in a real world kind of way- you think when that shit all rolls down to us plebs who are barely making it in the modern world market it matters so much?  As I was saying to someone the other day- I would like to take a nice, diverse  lot of people on a tour ’round my neck of the woods.  We could go to South East DC and see people of color who are economically disadvantaged, living in poverty, putting up with rampant crime…and fuck yes we would fly through there real quick with our doors locked.  Then I could take the same group of folk right on over to West Virginia and see white people who are economically disadvantaged, living in poverty, putting up with rampant crime…and fuck yes we would fly through there with our doors locked.    Because while in a large global sense of thinking, why yes- white men are in charge.  In real world daily living for the majority of humans- white male or not- shit sucks.  All around.

Which is why I can understand why people-of all kinds and colors- get involved with extremist or hate movements.  Face it, most of these people have shitty lives to start with, feel as if they are going no where, have no where to go, are disenfranchised, and they are angry as fuck…and well, for them it feels good to blame it on someone.  Someone different from them.  Men? Women?  White People?  People of Color? Democrats? Republicans? Christians? Jews? Muslims?  Hell, anyone will do.   Anyone will do as a target for that rage and pain and angst.  And in finding targets, a place to put all that rage, folk in these kinds of organizations find tribe, family, community- things they were lacking before.  Is it right?  No.  Can I understand it?  You bet your sweet ass and a pair of snakeskin boots I can.  It is pretty much human nature, when shit sucks, to take it out on other people.  Some people do that by gossiping about the neighbors and acting like assholes- some do it by joining extremist organizations. 

And sure enough- I think ALL of these people are entitled to their beliefs, agree with them or not.   And they are entitled to say whatever the hell they want-  I can assure you, hate these fuckers or not, had I been there, I sure as shit would have said they should get to have their march.  I am pretty upfront about being hardcore on that whole 1st amendment thing…

Be that as it may…this last go ’round almost had me laughing, not necessarily in a good way, but laughing none the less…

I’m from Colorado…you want to know how I was first ever exposed to a Confederate Flag???

That’s right!  The Duke boys!  At the tender age of 8, every Friday Night, I was glued to my tv (back when they only had 3 channels and all) watching The Dukes of Hazzard.  The first model ever purchased for me was…that’s right, The General Lee!  (and what a sweet, sweet 1969 Charger it was!)  My bro had a poster of Daisy, in her trademark shorts, on his wall.  Uncle Jesse was totally my favorite, and I always thought Luke was cuter than Bo.  And boy, did I love that bright orange Dodge with the racing number and stock car welded doors and yep, even that flag that I had no idea what it meant on the roof.  It wasn’t until I was older that I realized the full connotations of the Confederate Flag…but you know, I kept the model car anyway.  And oddly enough, as I’ve lived around the South…I have to say, I have met a lot of people with that flag; on a belt buckle, on a shirt, on a Zippo or flask, on a beer holder, on a baseball hat, on a car sticker, and a great many of them?  As tolerant every day working people as anyone else- hell not all of them are even white.  I don’t think a whole lot of people “get their rebel on” to truly be offensive, or racist, or anything other than…Proud Southerners.   I’ve never heard a single one of them ever say “The South Will Rise Again” as anything other than a joke.  You know, these people I am talking about?  Remind me far more of the Duke Boys than Klansmen.  They are hard working, willing to help a friend or neighbor out, and well, often like driving fast…and they don’t much care what color or religion or gender the people around them are.   And kinda like I am never going to be able to hate the Dukes of  Hazzard…flag on their fine ride or not…well, you get the idea. 

And I will sure as shit tell you this, I think Southerners themselves take a seriously bad rap, but that my friends, is a post for another day…

(looks into netflixing the Dukes of Hazzard…)

A needed dose of geekery

Posted: April 21, 2010 in Gaming

Rictor, Gibson and the crew take on A Whole lot of Heroes on the Lord Recluse Strike Force  (music is loud, contains swearing)

Case In Point…

Posted: April 19, 2010 in "Those People"

so, I am up looking at blogs this morning and I see this over at Ginmar’s… do look at the linked picture.

Okay, not at all a fan of truck art.  I never would have figured out that the plate stands for anything, and I do in fact bet the owner of said truck  (assumed to be male- as a person who lives in VA, it is ENTIRELY possible that truck, art and all, belongs to a woman…trust me on this one…Large Ford Motor Vehicles are popular with Both Men and Women here in Va, as is the NRA, Nationalism, and all things Red State…) is prolly a world class douche bag.

And I like Gin, but yeah….having a “those people” moment again.  The comments on the original post with the photo irked me something fierce.  True enough, crackers like the truck owning cracker make all crackers look bad.  But FFS, is it all that, ahem, classy and er, NON-CLASSIST for anyone to make assumptions about other peoples (yes, even that cracker’s) education level, beverage preferences, prison record, status of his love life, economic situation, disability or lack there of, gun ownership….so on, so forth, ad infinitum, amen?  Oh, and the FUCKER FROM NY on that comment thread who went OFF on how anyone in VA can’t possibly know anyone who died on 9-11 is FORMALLY INVITED to SUCK MY STRAP ON IN HELL!  One, there are people in the state of VA who lost people in the twin towers.  TWO, where the FUCK do these ASSHATS think the PENTAGON is???  Clue here…ARLINGTON VA.  Oh yeah, the Pentagon…remember???  Jesus F’ing Christ!

Calm down  Ren, deep breath…

Ahem.  In any event, I find the owner of said trucks wholesale condemnation of Islam, and assumed by extension, his hatred of all people who follow Islam…irrational.  Unsavory.  It bothers me.  I ALSO find the reactions to and assumptions about, oh, People Who Live in Va, or the South In General, or who might be rather cracker-esque themselves EQUALLY irrational and unsavory. 

People who bitch and fucking moan about other people’s intolerance should not be such fucking bigots themselves, thanks.  Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go drink beer and polish guns, maybe watch some NASCAR or something….


So, went to my doc on  Friday…



This is the part where, internally, I plead…oh ffs, just fucking cut me open again!  KNIVES before NEEDLES, PLEASE…

but no…seems, no surgery to make things as right as they are ever gonna get without needles first…gotta soften up all that fucking tissue before slicing into it again…

Okay, I get it, I  know I am a hard person….but shit, couldn’t my neck buck the damn system???

Good thing I am used to the magic stabby game…and guess what?  This time?  NO pain killers!!!!

On Separatists

Posted: April 15, 2010 in Humans

Over at ND’s, conversation has turned a bit to Separatism.  I asked a question of women who engage- in so much as possible- in Separatism and was politely answered by both Joy and Polly (thus far).    I’ve been doing a bit of thinking on the subject myself…and you know, I have no problem what so ever with women who want to, for what ever reasons, live their lives in a separatist fashion.  Hell, I can see why some women would want to, for various reasons.  If a woman has consistently been treated like shit by men, or has no interest or use for them in any way, or is merely sick of the way things are currently….well, she might and probably does have reason to not want to be around men.  Hell, I think it would be extremely interesting to see a place/state/country/town whatever that was merely a place for separatist women.  I pondered that idea once a while back.

I also surely do not get the hatred thrown at women who wish to be separatists…and they do get hate thrown at them big time.  I am sure in some ways it is that natural human hate humans seem to throw at anyone who deviates from the herd, but in many ways it is far more insidious and scary.  Throwing death threats at women who have simply found the current way of life lacking and want to try something different on their own?  Makes no sense to me.  Same way that sort of hate is thrown at other groups of people who wish to live in their own communities with people like them makes no sense to me…I am sort of in the mindset that if people, of any type: women, men, gay, straight, whatever nationality, even color, wish to have a community unto their own- so long as they obey laws and don’t start shit with other folk…let them have at it and let them be.  People might say this attitude is a slap in the face to fostering diversity- but you know, I am sure there are a lot of folk out there who have tried diversity and found it lacking and just want to be amid people who are more like themselves- and while that might not be for everyone- if these folk just want to go live peacefully on their own and do their own thing?  No reason to hate them for it. 

I also think the word separatist scares people…because most folk, when they hear it, well, they might think of it not in a women separatist or lesbian separatist way, but rather another way.  Images that might spring to mind are, er, perhaps a heavily armed skin head white separatist.  They might think that anyone wishing to “separate” has violent intentions towards those who do not.  With some separatists, of any sort, this might be true, but I think the majority of folk with this attitude really just want to be left the hell alone. 

Considering that- I have no problem with women who want to be separatists, in fact, I support them.

Be that as it may…I sure as hell know I would suck at it and have no desire whatsoever to be a woman separatist.  Are there things wrong with society and how it deals with women?  HELL YES.  However, I do not think I would do so well in an all women/women only community.  I mean, most of my good friends are men.  I generally do not fit in to well with groups of women.  This is not because they are horrible, its just that we’re often very different- in out look, in prefered hobbies-in mentality, in all kinds of things.  Women separatism is not for me.  I do not think I, or other women out there, would be happier or better off or more “free” in such a setting- all things which have been suggested in the conversation at ND’s.  Nah, the current world ain’t perfect- but I think I am far happier and better off “as is” than I would be living in a Women’s Separatist Community.

I don’t think that makes anyone better or worse, it just makes us different….I am just not so sure why people cannot see that and accept it, as is.

A while back (ok, not too far back, but a bit back) ND put up a post about an annoying Facebook dude who caused her to hate Nietzsche even more…

Heheh, the name Nietzsche in a title, hell, I will read it no matter what it is.  It’s like a Pavlovian response and all…

Anyway, in the comment section, various discussions ensued, one of them- which suggested men are just hardwired to hate women blah blah blah was eye roll and sneer worthy, but there were others that were more interesting, like about men who like/prefer younger women (generally far younger than themselves) and Creepy Dudes in Various Scenes.  I read all that shit with serious interest and all…

Because I too have noticed this phenomena.  Once, back at the old place, I posted about a Creepy Older Goth Dude who was trying to Impress the Goth Chick who was, oh, like 20 years his Junior by being Gother Than Thou and ended up getting laid out on his ass by me for the effort.  But as an avid dweller of dark and creepy places where Goths and their much disdained low brow bastard cousins- The Industrial/Cyber Goths- tend to congregate….as well as a Gamer Girl….I can tell you…the phenomena of the Older Dude who is All About the Younger Women is a very real thing.

And sometimes, I think people have part of it wrong…The part they have wrong is that ALL (or most men) have deemed any woman over the age of 25 unfuckable and thus have no interest in these women because they are unfuckable.  I disagree with this because well…in both my club dwelling and gamer crews, there is not a woman who is, oh, under the age of 30…35-42 seems to be the more accurate age spread- and oddly enough, none of us relics seems to want for male attention- even when we don’t necessarily want it.  And half the time, the dudes showing the attention are…well…younger dudes.  It has, in fact, been my experience that women over 30…hell, 40 even…are not considered dead and unfuckable (or whatever else) by a great many men in the universe.  If that were true, well then, I, at the ripe old age of 38, would never have sex…right?  If that were the case, no female celebrity over the age of 30 would be considered “hot”.  Ahem: Angelina Jolie-34, Kate Beckinsale-36, Angie Harmon- 37, Pauley Perrette- 41, Halle Berry- 43  – all women often considered by the male of the species to be…hot.    Life is not “Logan’s Run” people, folk, even female ones, are not considered dead and useless once they are 30.

Nevertheless, there are those types of dudes out there, all over, in every scene, in every sub-culture, in every walk of life…the Older Dude who Only Wants the Younger Woman.  I have seen dudes get very defensive over this, calling on everything from Evo-Psych to the Young women are just more Hip excuse.  And sure enough, I have seen couples where there is a significant age difference that work…sometimes where the woman is 10 or so years older, but most often in the reverse…and I don’t knock these people for a second because you know- their relationships do seem to be happy and based on mutual respect and affection and all that other crap.

However…heh…I have also seen situations where none of those things are what it is about, and generally, these are cases where the man is the significantly older one.  And he is into younger women for some very specific reasons.   Often times these dudes have a wanna-be Svengali thing going on.  They want women who they can mold, shape, create, into what they want those women to be.  They like having the young, hot, fawning thing around to impress the other dudes with.  The like having these women around because well, they like fucking them and showing them off, but also because often, it bolsters their own position in whatever circle they run in, and often, these sweet young molded things won’t challenge them in any way because they are…simply put…naive.

For instance, I know a dude in the Goth Scene…and he is a Goth.  He is one of a few of the 40+ Goth Dudes that are out every night, making the rounds at every club, busy being Lord of the Dance or what the fuck ever after the business day is done.  He has a horribly annoying habit of flipping his hair…and most women over 30 know he is, often, an insufferable arrogant often drunk off his ass asshat.   He also goes through under 25 year old girl friends like most people change socks…has even been caught in drama where he has been, ahem, busted, dating (and by dating, I mean fucking) more than one at a time where the women thought it was an exclusive thing.  Aside from being Gother than Hell- this dude does not have many redeeming qualities at all.  None really.  And why is HE into younger women????

Ahem.  One- They put up with his shit.  Two- Banging the hottest young goth chick around- who all sorts of guys- from his elder Goth Round Table Crew to the Younger Goth dudes, to well, Dudes in general- find attractive makes him feel special and important and envied!  Three- a younger girl is more likely to be impressed by his utterly worthless in the real world club scene creds than an older woman-who oh, has lived a little- which also makes him feel good.  Four- He can control them.   Hell, a great many dudes like this are not even dating women who would be considered “hot” by the whole Goth Scene Standard…but they are young….and that, the being young and easily influenced part, seems to be more important than brains, humor, money, or even looks, to some of these dudes.  

That pretty much sums it up…and he seems to be pretty indicative of a great many of his ilk.   I myself often wonder what the hell a 40+ dude has to talk about with a 20 year old woman…hell, dude was outta highschool and out in the world  before she was even born…but I guess if you can just dictate and screw and be worshipped by the fawning young thing… conversation and common interests do not matter.  Especially if yer boys are jealous of you for it…

And I will even go out on a limb here:  I think this shit is really rather creepy.  Hell, I say that as one of the creepiest freaks on the planet.  Dating a chick who could be (or is, in some cases) the same age as children you may (or do) have is just…oogy.    There are exceptions, of course….but sometimes, the rules fucking fit for a reason.

Well, I guess the first thing to say would be that guy?  He isn’t real.  I made him up.  He’s a character I play in City of Villains  (which normally I would be preparing to play CoV here shortly, but I feel bleh and actually plan to be sleeping in about a half an hour or so), and after playing him in CoV, he became also one of several characters in a long, ongoing series of stories I am writing. 

His name is Rictor.   He’s one of my most favorite characters to play, prolly my favorite villain.  I have (utter geek out moment) dumped over 400 million infamy (game money) on him, macking him out, will probably dump at least that once again over on him continuing to do so, when we are running high level villains and something else is not needed, I play him.    And I like writing about him and his lunatic dysfunctional family as much as I like playing him…

And make no mistake, he is a bad, bad man.  Most horrible things a person can do- he’s been there, done that.  Most bad qualities you can think about a person- specifically a man person having- he has ’em.  Dude is a hard-drinking, drug abusing, violence loving, hateful,  mean, mean, mean junk yard dog of a person.   And when I play him, nah, it is not all about watching an animated ass I prefer over others.

For me, playing and writing about a dude like Rictor is…cathartic.  It is a massive much-needed release for angst and anger and hatred and just seriously sinister and sadistic shit that lurks around builds up in my head.  It’s a much-needed outlet.  ‘Liking’ a character like Rictor is out of the question, but I love the hell out of that dude…prolly wouldn’t want to date him, but yeah.  And sure enough, sometimes I get and understand him a whole lot more than…well…would make people comfortable.

People need outlets, I am a big believer in that…and mine currently is a 6’2″ speed freak asshole from Arkansas, and thus far, the rotten S.O.B.  has never done me wrong.