In Remeberance…

Posted: February 28, 2010 in Personal

Last week, a friend of mine died.  He was 35,and dropped of  a massive coronary.

Even for a nihilist, that is too young. 

He helped me (as a jew) coin the phrase “jews invented guilt, catholics perfected it”

Tonight was our send off to him.

It was emotional, but fun, which is what I think he would have wanted.  He would have LAUGHED at watching a dude we both know stuck between two ex- GF’s.  He would have LAUGHED at me being the only girl on and knocking a 6’3 inch goth over on the dance floor to “so what”.  He would have loved the toasts, the tears, the grins, the people who have not seen each other in years coming out and talking.   I do not believe in an after life…but if he were there, I think he would have grinned.

These things?  They count.

  1. Rorshack says:

    I wish I could have made it…
    Distance and health did not permit travel but I raised a glass for him…

  2. Fuck, that *is* too young. Sorry about your friend, Ren.

  3. Roy Kay says:

    A man after my own heart, from your description of him and his ways. Some fraction of 35 years is too little to share your lives with each other, but you can only really decide when to begin far more than when to end. I am glad you began and wish that this might have continued forever. In memory and spirit, at least, he will remain with you.

    And one more thing. Though I don’t know him, I thank you for being his friend and making his days on this world a more joyous and friendly place.

  4. Gaina says:

    My condolences, that is extremely young.

    I like the fact you gave him a fun send-off that reflected his personality. I like this trend in England for having a minute’s applause instead of silence as IMHO we should celebrate a person’s life instead or mourning their passing.

    A friend of mine went to a party last week hosted by a friend of hers who is terminally ill and he wanted to have a ‘farewell party’ while he was around to enjoy it! 🙂 She was nervous about going but ended up having a really good time and making some new friends :).

  5. Aspasia says:

    I’m sorry to hear about that! **huggies** Far too young.

    I went to a similarly joyous funeral last summer. It was truly a “Homegoing” celebration that matched the personality of the man who had passed away. We laughed, we cried, we were relieved that his 2-year long struggle with stomach cancer was over. Considering it was damn near like a Summer of Death for family friends, it was a welcome break.

  6. Ernest Greene says:

    My condolences. Many fall by the wayside, starting far too soon. Why others live on so long is one of life’s frustrating mysteries.

    But all lives are short. It’s about quality not quantity.

    I’m sure you’ll miss him forever at the strangest moments when something reminds you. I don’t thinik that’s a bad thing. It’s part of what we leave behind.

    Sad, Sad story. I’m truly sorry.

  7. TrinityVA says:

    My condolences, Ren. If he is out there somewhere I’m sure he loved the sendoff.

  8. rootietoot says:

    I’m sorry-it makes you think, doesn’t it.
    The sendoff sounds amazing. He had some good friends, to do this for him.

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