So, we shall begin with a bit of background. I, er, had some work to do on Saturday. The film kind. As I am about to have surgery, I am trying to get shit done before that happens, and that includes work related shit. So myself and my Partner in WebSite crime (henceforth referred to as PWSC) did some work on Saturday and were attempting to squeeze in as much other work as possible before surgery time.
Now, as it happens, when doing this sort of thing, one often has to Hire Other Performers. Such is the nature of the business. So on Tuesday PWSC gives me a ring in the mornin’ and says he has some people he would like to book, but since I am his partner and all as well as main performer, well, he wants me to okay them first and would I mind being in on a conference call. I hate phones. Hate them. However, this is bid’ness so, okay. So he sets it all up and the call is in progress and me, him, and this gal who he was thinking of booking are on the phone. I have done all of say hello at this point, but I am listening whilst the two of them are discussing. Now, he is talking about the scene he wants to hire her for. I do not do much in the way of girl on girl (as in, no thanks bellow the waist unless-devices are used- by me), but I will do scenes where there is another girl IN them. At this point, I have already determined Other Porn Girl on the Phone is a snot ass thinks she is better than everyone Diva who is all of, oh, 25 or so. And why yes, I have seen her photos, and while cute and decidedly girl next store All-American looking, she is not the hottest thing on the planet but damn if she isn’t talking like she is. Now, half of me wants to get really hostile at this point…it’s like “come on, kid, if you suck and fuck on film Just Like The Rest of us Gals in this business, you have to realize that trying to act like you deserve an Academy Award and your own private make up crew and cases of special bottled water and all you are so damn special is stretching it a bit, esp. if you are pondering booking with Outlaws like us and are not out workin’ for Vivid in Cali or something”…. I resist this urge. But it is like Come on You Pretentious Bitch, You are In Porn, Just like US, the only ass-kissin’ around here gets done on film!
Anyway…. I already don’t like her.
But have said nothing. Aside from “Hello”.
So, as she is annoying the fuck outta me with her arrogance, PWSC is trying to be very polite (if he has a fatal flaw it is that he is toooo fuckin’ nice), and explaining the basic idea for the scene, and suddenly she cuts him off and says “Well, who is the other girl?”
He says, “Well, it will probably be Ren.”
At which point (either not caring or apparently forgetting that I am also on the phone), Diva goes off with the following rant:
“God I hope she is not local! All the local girls here are like these horrible, tattooed, chain smoking stupid red-neck sluts with fake boobs, ugly trucks and guns!”
I crack the fuck up. Literally, like start laughing on the phone. At which point PWSC is like “oh hell…”
I actually speak at this point, long enough to say I have no truck and ask her where her degrees are from…and point out that she is actually a bleached blonde, whereas I am not. She gets all huffy. I press her about the degree thing- not because I actually care, but because she has done pissed me the fuck off. I also then remind her when one makes money fucking on film it is not real slick or even remotely intelligent to call other women who do the same thing sluts. And, I add, I am really more of a hick.
PWSC actually laughs at this point. She calls me a choice name or two…ones that mostly have to do with being white, less than wealthy, and, well…figure it out.
PWSC finally gets shit under control and says “Well, do you want to shoot a scene or not”..
And Diva says “Well, I could use the money…”
I laugh again. At which point I notice that in this whole conversation…. what with her hate on for tattooed chain smoking fake boob having gun owning redneck sluts…I am the only one on the phone without a notable Southern Accent????
I ask her where she is from. She answers Philly…I say NO, where are you FROM…
(Answer…West Va. Do I sense some self-loathing here maybe??)
Anyway, I then inform everyone involved as co-fiend on this here venture, the only scene I would pay her to do with us is one that involves me, her, my strap on, and Hell. Then I hung up.
Diva won’t be working with us.