Holiday Cheer…

Posted: December 13, 2009 in Awesome

This may come as a huge shock to all of you, but holiday cheer is something I generally lack.  Since I am totally non-practicing and utterly indifferent to the whole thing, at casa del Evolution- we put up a Christmas Tree.  So the tree arrived last night, we dragged it inside because it was damn cold and gross outside, and then realized there would be serious issues fitting it into the stand.

And thus arrives holiday cheer for me, at least fleetingly, because you know, there is NOTHING in the world quite like standing in your living room, in work boots, goggles, and neon green winter pj’s, using a freakin’  chainsaw.  I suspect the idea of using a chainsaw indoors is not something most people would fathom, but I will tell you for the fans of the chainsaw, it was kinda fun.  And when it is your own living room and you know the mess that occurs will be your own to clean up, no worries about anyone telling you “no, you CANNOT use a chainsaw in the living room!” 

In fact, i recommend everyone use a chainsaw in their living room at least once in their lives.  Granted, I have been looked at oddly because the chainsaw generally lives in the kitchen, but hey…its my kitchen.

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Comments
  1. “ummm why is there a chainsaw in your kitchen?”…aaahh fond memories

  2. I am emphatically not a chainsaw type, but the logic of the situation and what I know of you is inescapable.

    I’m guessing my usual habit of putting down a lot of old newspapers to protect against mess would probably be entirely inadequate!

    The artificial performance of “Holiday spirit” is something I loathe, so I can relate to those who curmudgeonly refuse to play along. Equally, stories like yours of “unconventional” cheer really buck me up.

    I hope looking at the tree all season will involve many happy memories!

  3. Rorshack says:

    Only one question comes to mind…

    Gas or Electric?

  4. Erik says:

    I would like to encourage you to post a photo, or a drawing if you prefer, of yourself dressed in the work boots, goggles and neon green pj’s and wielding the chainsaw on a Christmas Tree. Would make a great album cover – especially for a holiday collection. Too bad the Stranglers and the Dictators are defunct.

    Keeping a chainsaw in the kitchen seems sensible, to me especially if you tend to overcook the roast. Could also come in handy if there is an outbreak of Christmas caroling or visiting relatives in your vicinity. I take a backseat to no one in my Grinchiness, and I have dire plans for Whoville this year.

  5. antiprincess says:

    whatever works to get you in that, er, holiday spirit, so to speak.

    personally, I’d like to crawl in a big hole and die for the six or eight weeks between thanksgiving and the new year. I can’t take the pressure. however, armed with a chainsaw, things might be a little different…

  6. Gaina says:

    ROFL. Well since you went to all that effort to get it in the house, I better give you some tips to keep it happy!

    http://www.pickyourownchristmastree.org/caring4atree.php

    Some people also add soda (lemonade or sprite) or an aspirin to the water to help keep it fresh for longer.

  7. Too bad the Stranglers and the Dictators are defunct.

    At least the Buzzcocks are still around!

    • Erik says:

      All right, Buzzcocks!

      “I believe in original sin
      And I believe what I believe in
      I believe in the web of fate
      And I believe in I’m going to be late
      So I’ll be leavin’
      What I believe in”

  8. CAROLINE says:

    Mmmm… chainsaws…. I’d love me one of those. You have to put a pic up!

  9. rootietoot says:

    With blast goggles! I can honestly say I’ve never had a chainsaw in the kitchen. A sawzall, all the time. Next time I have a big hambone to cut, a chain saw it is. There was a chopsaw in the living room once…Oh, last time a friend gifted us with a whole deer carcass…Terry used the chainsaw to dismember it…so I guess we did have one in the kitchen once! I remember opining that it would be best if the Sheriff didn’t happen by, because it was kind of sketchy looking…all Sweeny Todd and stuff.

  10. carbonpaper says:

    Chainsaw for cutting frozen meat .. Good idea, though the chain oil leaves an aftertaste.

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