Archive for November, 2009

The GER has..

Posted: November 30, 2009 in Uncategorized

Returned from A Sunny Place for Shady people…

A photo from the road and totally common site as one sails up 1-95 from South to North…

A yep.  Pecans, fruit, boiled peanuts, topless cafes, and firework stands- things one is bound to see whilst traversing from North Va, through NC, SC, and GA on the way to FL and back again.

And no offense to the fine citizens of SC, but you know, I have been doing this trek a few times a year for almost 20 years and the stretch of 95 which runs through your state (and goes on forever and ever)…well…it sucks.  And is under construction.  Always.  For the last 20 years it seems.

You do have a cool state flag though!

Real posts to come soon.

The GER is

Posted: November 23, 2009 in Uncategorized

in the Sunshine State  (aka “A sunny place for shady people”, “America’s Wang”) for Thanksgiving Holiday.

My presence might be fleeting.

Why when you say it do I think of…

Posted: November 20, 2009 in Rants

Gerard Butler?

Heh, oh, he of whom I speak knows of what I speak…

But for the rest of you- it has to do with the word “civilized” and the thought that comes to mind when I say that word.

Especially if I happen to be eating an apple whilst my comrades build a wall out of the slain bodies of our enemies, but that hasn’t happened since May or so…

oh, wait…

Anyway, apparently I have a way of saying “civilized” in a manner which suggests anything but.  Perhaps it is a gift, but I don’t know.  I *personally* tend to think  “civilized” is one of the most over rated and over used words in the English language.  “Civilized” is often a cheap coat of gloss thrown over monstrosity, the smile aimed at your face while a knife heads for your back.

I am no so sure I believe in civilized.  I mean, the word- with a definition, exists and all, but I think often it is a cop-out.  Honest is better.  To the point is better.  Even amicably disagreeable is a step up.

Civilized is stage dressing…and as you all know- dressing is for salad.

One of life’s small pleasures…

Posted: November 20, 2009 in The Gym

The Gym.

Now I realize that for some people, the idea of “the gym” is akin to a nightmare, and come to think of it, some of the equipment does look a bit like a medieval torture device, but I have got to say, I am a fan.  I will admit I am not the fan of cardio that I am of doing weights or the machines, but I do enjoy the overall experience of working out.  And I do have to say that doing so regularly has had one amazing side effect:  I am hungry often.  I have not forgotten to eat here lately. 

It is also interesting to me to see what parts of my body are surprisingly strong and which ones really do need some work.  My back and calves?  Scary.  My quads?  Not so much at all.  The leg press is not something I kick ass on…in fact, sort of the other way around, however for a female, my upper body is fairly…er…buff?

The gym is also a fun place to people watch.  I am an avid people watcher.  I get a kick out of watching folk at the gym….from the huge buff dude in the free-weight section who is fairly certain he is no doubt the cock of the walk to the unassuming grandma who gets on the tread mill and suddenly turns into Paula Jane Radcliffe.  I get a kick out of seeing the grins on the faces of people who have just finished a cardio kickboxing class- those tired, drained but “wow, that was awesome” grins. 

It is also one of those places I never fail to and never feel silly about laughing at myself…like when I am so short I have to stand on my tip toes to reach half the hand grips on the equipment or move the seats on everything almost all the way up. 

Going to the gym is one of those things I truly do take pleasure in.  I like the way it makes me feel, during and after.  Even if I am a little sore, or tired (or freakin’ starving!) it is a good feeling.

“Where I come from, everything that gives pleasure is good”- The Electric Hellfire Club: Where Violence is Golden

Now, now, now, calm down, I would not actually take that concept to heart, but I do like the phrase!  For instance I do not think killing/actually torturing people-even if one gets pleasure from it- is good.  Same goes for doing anything with people/things that have not or cannot consent, so on, so forth.  I still rather dig the quote though…

Be That As It May- let us move on from Nihilism and discuss pleasure! 

I am sure this shocks no one:  I am a big fan.  I like pleasure, I think pleasure is good.  It is one of those things worth living for, and it comes in many, many forms.  Some people take pleasure in creating something- a work of art, a piece of writing, building a chair, making a good meal, knitting a nice sweater.  Some people take pleasure in the company of and interaction with good friends.  Some like lively debate.  There are countless things that can bring one pleasure:  Good movies, a long relaxing bath, a delicious desert, a view of a nice sunset, a rousing hymn, a good stand up comedian…all kinds of things.

And I am of the mind that people deserve pleasure in their lives.  A lot of it.  It sort of goes with my whole enjoy the now and make the small things count vibe.  It may not matter in however long that I went nuts and felt like I was on cloud nine the first time the Broncos won a Superbowl…but damn, did it not put a smile on my face in the moment and for months to come.    So Feeling As I Do…I am not so sure I understand schools of thought or people who deride pleasure.  For instance, it is one thing to be rude and gloat when one wins at something, but why is it bad to take pride in that victory and enjoy it?  I don’t think it is.  Winning is pleasurable and should be enjoyed.  Why should one feel guilty for having a second slice of pie if they find pleasure in eating it?  And of course…ahem…why should people feel bad or whatever for fucking if it brings them pleasure?  I don’t get it.  Pleasure is one of those things that makes life worth living.  Pleasure, I think, makes life better.

I do or try to take pleasure in a whole lot of things:  writing, art, dancing, hanging out with friends, playing pool, sex, working out, watching football…hell…sleeping.  And I have found, the more I take pleasure in things and do things that give me pleasure…well…I am generally a much happier camper.  I’m in a better mood, nicer to and more tolerant of others, more productive and generally more pleasant.  I would tend to think this is good thing, no?  And sure, there are things that I take pleasure in that are not necessarily so good for me…I mean, I do like percoset, and when I was on it for my neck I really enjoyed it….but I know that while it felt good, not so good for me, and lessened other pleasures….so not so hard to forsake it in the name of other things I really enjoy. 

I absolutely think pleasure is a good thing for the human animal and so long as it is not something that violates or directly harms another person (non consenting one anyway) that there is no reason not to engage in it.  Thusly, I have never understood schools of  thought that prohibit or frown upon pleasure.

You take away pleasure, and life really does get a lot more grim.

Nihilism, part II

Posted: November 19, 2009 in The Hardline According to Ren

Wow, some of y’all got a little freaky on that last one….so I feel I should clarify some things.

And remember all, I am merely speaking for me here.

I don’t, nor have I ever, really believed in an afterlife.  No Heaven, no Hell, no reincarnation, no perfect asecension…none of that.  When you are dead, you are dead.  Nothing.  Oblivion.  Which may sound as depressing as hell if you have not always believed that.  I have. Big difference.  Which lends well to “meaningless”.  I mean shit, this really should be obvious….I am enamoured with the physical because in the here and now that is good, fun, pleasureable….I enjoy it…and time being what it is, no idea how much ANY of us have left of that now, do we?  What I say, do, so on, in the end, it means nothing.  What matters-if anything does- is the NOW.  Enjoy, help, do, whatever, as you will because you should or can.  But for real?  Meaning?  Come on…

You do charity works- it matters to you and the person/people you are helping in that moment.  In the end…you think it really does? 

When it all comes down to it, if I am right, and there is nothing, will the number of good or bad things you have done really matter?

 

YOU do things because you WANT to, good or bad, regardless of meaning.  You do them because YOU want to. 

Hardline According to Ren.

 

Here it is, the nihilism post.  It’s timely even, as in a short few hours the totally meaningless celebration of my 38th year of life on this planet will commence.  That’s right..at roughly 5 am on one dark and snowy November 18th in the year 1971, I arrived.

Still here, oddly enough.    So let us begin:  Nihilism, the belief that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated, that life is meaningless, that there are no moral or ethical absolutes, there is no truth and even if there were, we could never know it,  a state of thinking in which many assume amorality is the flavor of the day and absolute destruction- of the self and the world- is what is on the table for dinner.

I am 95 % a nihilist.  The 5% of me that isn’t is holding down the fort and madly clinging to some sort of hope, but hey, water is rising and all.  Heh, even I have my weak points.  We’ll get to them and the 5% in a minute.

I have before in my blogging career mentioned how even though most people dream of one day being exceptional, most of them will never make it and will, in the course of two to three generations even be nothing perhaps more than names and faces on a photograph to even their own families.  We will ant farm our way through existence; produce, consume, and die and in the end it will mean nothing…we are little more than a tiny line with a tiny number, lost amid countless other tiny lines and tiny numbers on a great big huge bar code.  Who we are, what we have done?  That, for almost all of humanity, will be dust faster than our bones.  There is no ‘real’ reason to get out of bed in the morning.  There is no ‘real” reason to do anything really, except that we think we should do, we are told we should do it, we are used to doing it.  What we actually do or don’t do?  At the end of the day in the big picture way, it means jack shit. 

And actually, no, I am not an atheist or an anarchist or any other such thing.  I think there is a god, but he either long stopped giving a shit or left the building, and why yes, we do need laws, but shit, things like the OJ Simpson trial should be enough to let you know they mean nothing.  There is no real fair or unfair, no great and shining hope for humanity.  We eat, sleep, fuck, kill -produce, consume- and that’s just the way of it.  No reason to do it, no meaning in it.  We just do.  Often because we think we are supposed to, or often because we feel we have to, or hey, even often we do things because they give us pleasure… and in my book any of those reasons are okay for doing things…but its doesn’t grant meaning to anything on any great scale.  It might hold meaning for the individuals involved, but in the grand scheme?  Jack and his cousin shit.  One day we’ll be dust, the world will be dust, and nothing any of us ever did will matter, thus it matters not now, and there is no meaning to any of it.   Hell, humans, life? We don’t get each other, we don’t really communicate with each other, we like to think we have some great things going with our little laws and little politics and little displays of awesomeness- but what are we actually really good at?  Eat, Fuck, Kill, Produce, Consume…die, leaving nothing behind aside from that which will be erased, and there is no great meaning-if any at all, behind it.  We can add that on a personal level I suppose…but that still doesn’t mean anything.

Oddly enough, I can live with that.  Doesn’t even depress me really.  It is, best as I can tell, the way of the world.  I’ve been creepin’ around on the planet for 38 years now, and really, I think this is just how it is.  I can roll with that.  I can even have fun, enjoy the roll as it were…in fact, I can have one hell of a time…but aside from what pleasure or satisfaction or fun I take out of that- what pleasure or satisfaction I might give others in doing that…when the whistle blows and the clock stops…it doesn’t matter.  None of it does, did, or will.  Because nothing about life does.  We’re ants, in an ant farm.  We build our tunnels and do our jobs and eat/fuck/kill….but we’re still pretty much little creatures in the sand behind glass and sure enough, we will get shaken up, watch our tunnels collapse, die, and it won’t have mattered- nothing we have done, good or bad, will have mattered.  So, you might as well enjoy the ride, eh, since you are going to be forgotten bone dust in a matter of years anyway and  thats pretty much all there is to it. 

That’s how I look at it, except for that five percent.  Because there really is that five percent that does not want what the other 95 percent of me believes to be true…cause I have a weakness.  Kids.  I don’t want kids to get thrown into the meat grinder of life thinking that there is nothing, that there is no meaning.  I mean, they will get their on there own I suspect, but when they are children?  Hell, children are supposed to believe in fairies and unicorns and that they can grow up to be superheroes.  They are supposed to believe that they can change the world and make some sort of lasting difference (that hope usually gets crushed out of them pretty soon anyway).   They aren’t supposed to know the one thing we are best at is obliterating ourselves and each other and anything else that happens to be in the way.  They are supposed to have hope, they want to believe in something rather than nothing…    And if they can, well, sometimes, that 5% of me does too.  A little bit.  On occasion.  Until the other 95% tells it to shut the fuck up and sit down so it can point out how right it is. 

And yeah, this belief does play into a lot of what is going on with me in a lot of ways, from my grimness to my – ahem – hedonism,  the kinds of music and movies I like, the characters I write, my focus on the more physical things in life, the fact that I do not get shocked over much of anything anymore.  Absolutely.  The 5% lurks around though, but is more focused on little tiny things:  good friends, good relationships, things that can be meaningful in a small little way to the people who are involved, that can let me look at the rest of the utter meaningless with a wise ass grin.  In the end it may mean nothing and there may be nothing, but at least there can be the occasional port in the storm and all. 

And that, true believers, is the good part in a world full of nothing…those occasional ports.  The rest is shit and nothing with no meaning and in time, no consquence…so enjoy the hurricane days with those you can while you still got ’em, cause in the end, you won’t even have those, and it won’t have mattered.

Birthday advice from the God Emperor of Rome…

Enjoy life as much as you can, because when nothing else matters, that shit does.  When everything really is nothing, the little things can mean a lot.

The Magic Stabby Game…

Posted: November 17, 2009 in Uncategorized

Was played on my neck today- then two hours worth of traffic to get home from the docs.  So, no nihilism post today.  Tomorrow, yes, today, no.

Advice to the masses- never get set on fire.

Coming Soon

Posted: November 16, 2009 in The Hardline According to Ren

watchmen-comedian1T.H.A.T.R:  Nihilism.

You know it is the one you’ve been waiting for…

Popular Opinion is…

Posted: November 15, 2009 in Assholes

That the fearless crusader responsible for the Funny Blogs is none other than the ultra charming Mary Sunshine.  This cannot be proven, and while I really like proof, I figure at this point if Other Special People do not need proof, I am not going to bother (plus there were a few rather stupid moves on her part re: logins that make her look pretty suspect).

Now, I am still very amused (except for the use of certain cartoon on the blog for me- one, racist, two, I am so not a sacrifblonde), but be that as it may, and seeing as I am a horrible psycho who does things like eat babies, skin small live animals, sacrifice righteous feminist women to my penis bearing horned god, hedonistically, aggressively and willingly engage in sexual congress with men and occasionally vote libertarian, I feel it is time to make a few points and observations about the Radical Feminists of the Internet.  Having been a favorite of theirs for over three years, I have had plenty of time to see how this works after all.  And why yes, to some this might merely be a waste of proverbial ink, I consider it my patriotic and civil duty.

However, of all my observations, only one really matters:  Radical Feminism, as it is represented by RFI’s, is a hate movement.

There.  I said it.  Other people have said it before and I actually, to an extent, took exception to this characterization.  I am generally very leery of anyone calling various movements which are not obviously and overtly so hate movements.  However, I have changed my mind.  These women advocate the end of hatred of women by men, yet all they do is throw hate out into the world themselves.  Hatred of men, of transwomen, of non-right singing tune sex workers, of liberal feminists, of kinky women, of pretty much anyone and everyone who does not believe as they do.  They employ racists, classist, ableist, ageist, and why yes, even sometimes sexist language and attitudes fairly often.  But the hate, it’s still pretty evident. Sometimes they mask this with concern- some do not even bother (which I actually have more respect for), but at the end of the day- if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck-  good bet its a damn duck.   These things, they are not the tenants of a “womens movement”. They cannibalize their own for disloyalty, whine about being silenced and picked on when their hands are just as bloody, utterly fail to take responsibility for their own words and actions, lie, and behave often so cowardly it is truly pathetic.  Hate movement, pure and simple. 

And for all those who are going to say “but I’m not like that!” All I have is this:

If you harbor it, condone it, allow it to slide, do not call it out, do not refute it, or do not say things are wrong when you know they are:  You are no better. 

At least I am fuckin’ honest about my rage and hate of various things.