Oh STFU stupid man…

Posted: October 17, 2009 in Sex Work


As I said over there-

“Thanks for the stereotype.  Strippers just love that shit.  So do the men who date/marry them.”

I mean, is there some magical evidence that says women who are victims of CSA who do become strippers are more likely to end up with asshats than women who a victims of CSA who do not become strippers?  I mean, I can look around at strippers I know and work with, some of whom are victims of CSA and some who are not, and oddly enough, the men they are with (if they have boyfriends or husbands) are not all that different or worse off than woman I know who are not strippers.  In fact, of the four dancers I know who are married, myself included….hummm.

One is married to an IT director whose greatest fault is that he is somewhat passive aggressive.  One is married to a guy who made a killing in the internet markets, has more money than god, and his cheif fault seems to be he spends the weekend taking golf trips and a lot of time watching the stock market.  Another is married to a mellow hippy type who works in computers and seems content to let her run his life in all ways, but is a little lazy.  The last is married to a Marine, who, aside from having to go to Iraq and all, is the kindest, most thoughtful fellow on the face of the earth quite possibly.  I know one dancer who was dating a total asshat in that he ran around on her, but she dumped him. 

On the other hand, I know some non-stripper women too.  I know a gal who had her live in empty her bank account and run.  I know one who put up with getting tossed around, accused of everything under the sun, and dudes coke habit.  I know one who is still waiting for the dude she has been with for years to put a ring on her finger, even though dude has no intention of doing so and will nail anything in a skirt.  I know one who has a man who works and all, but then when he gets home everything else in the world, from cooking to cleaning to taking care of the kids is always all on her, even though she has a day job too.  I also know plenty who are with good men. 

Some people make bad choices in partners.  Being a stripper or not being a stripper often has very little to do with it.  There are plenty of women out there, strippers and not strippers, who have decent to awesome men in their lives.  There are plenty of women out there, strippers and not strippers, who have asshole men in their lives.  Same goes for women who are victims of CSA. 

Enough with this shit already.  It’s just insulting to women (and their male partners) all around.

  1. Gaina says:

    The seemingly lower ass-hat ratio for the women who are sex workers compared to the other women in this particular instance makes me wonder if it’s coincidence or that sex workers’ spouses just have a better attitude to women or having a more mature attitude to sex work gives them more respect for the women who do that job?

    Meh, I know what I’m trying to say but I don’t think I worded it correctly – do you get what I mean?

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