I said I wasn’t going to…

Posted: October 16, 2009 in WTF???

Blog about the F Word over here, but guess what, looks like I am. 

It seems to me that feminism as it is represented in blog world is…well…all about the men.  It has shit all to do with women for the most part.  Sure, there is talk about class woman and all, but when you beat it all down and cut through the double talk and bs and pseudo intellectual snarkage and what not….its not about women.  Not when a great many of the women espousing this crap don’t give enough of a shit about other women who do not fit into their ideological camp to even treat them like humans, much less creatures capable of thought, choice, self determination with feelings and ideas and opinions.  Sure, those women are useful, and used, without consent or knowing two shakes about them, but they are never listened to.  They don’t matter at all in any capacity other than the example various feminists like to make of them for whatever agenda.

And all too often, this sort of feminism, well, guess what?  It is all about the men.  What men think.  What men do.  What ideas men might get in their heads.  “If you do this, it makes me think this”, “If you act/dress/like X, it makes men think/do/say/believe this”.  So much out there about what men do, what men say, what men think, how men feel (or don’t feel), what inspires or drives men to do ——-.  All men, and all fear, and all fear of men, all the goddamn time, 24/7, 365 days.  Women who supposedly want —– for women, trashing and speaking for and demeaning  and throwing other women under a bus  whilst ripping a way their individuality, personhood, and humanity all because of the scary, scary men.

Uh huh. 

Fuck that noise.  I will have none.  I’d rather live in a scary scary world with a sneer and my boots on and get shot in the face than hide in a scary scary world looking for monsters that aren’t really there and never feel the sun on my brow, you know? 

That shit I mention above?  It’s not empowering.  It’s demoralizing.

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Comments
  1. Stone Fox says:

    it comes down to this: you are welcome to have an opinion, as long as your opinion is the same as ours.

    i always though feminism was supposed to be about supporting women *no matter what* their choices are. would i be a porn star? nope. (and not just because they wouldn’t have me!!) i support any woman who chooses, of her own volition, to be a porn star. i wonder how much of this “porn is The Man objectifying and subjugating woman” issue is simply the inability to empathize that a woman can, and has the right to, use her own body as she sees fit. it may not be what you or i choose, but is that not the absolute core of women’s rights? to make our own choices and be the sole stewards of our own bodies?

    (i seriously doubt that many porn stars would choose my life; that of an overworked, unpaid, stay-at-home mother of three, over their lives.)

    women’s rights can’t be just a set of rules of how men should treat women. women’s rights should also be about how women treat each other. who needs a man to keep you down when there’s a whole legion of women out there ready, willing, and able to tell you that you’re too stupid to make your own decisions?

    i am the first to admit that i know enough to know i don’t know enough on this topic. however, i firmly believe that my own ignorance is no reason to keep my opinion to myself.

  2. Nyara says:

    If it weren’t for a recent neck injury, I’d be nodding like a bobble-head doll right now.

    I’ve noticed what you’re talking about, in far more places than I care to contemplate. When everything else has been countered, they pull the “but it will make men think that all women are like this!” card. “If some women practice BDSM, men will think that all women like being hurt” being a particularly common example. The problem, of course, is presented as being with the woman, rather than with men, or anyone else, seeing all women as a monolithic mass. And I can’t help but noticing parallels to the “We have to keep women veiled and under virtual house arrest- otherwise men might be corrupted” crap pulled by groups like the Taliban. Or some of the crap spewed by the extreme religious right in this country. It’s rather unnerving.

    • TrinityVA says:

      The problem, of course, is presented as being with the woman, rather than with men, or anyone else, seeing all women as a monolithic mass. And I can’t help but noticing parallels to the “We have to keep women veiled and under virtual house arrest- otherwise men might be corrupted” crap pulled by groups like the Taliban.

      THIS. So hard.

  3. Mary says:

    Nice observation. We should just do what we want regardless of what men think Isn’t this obvious? If we’re kept from doing something or shit is being done to us because we’re women, then we can sue for sex discrimination or harassment. If the laws aren’t good enough, we can make them better. Informing women of their rights and of the laws protecting us is maybe something feminists should be doing more of.

  4. SirPuck says:

    Posts like this are why you are one of my favorite’s. And, its the reason I still come here even after I know its double XP weekend 🙂 I agree with you and the others that this is complete BS and a bit unnerving. And, like you, think its pointless trying to reason with them or get them to see that what they are doing is every bit as bad as those evil “manchine overlords”. There is still tremendous amounts of misogyny out there to fight against. They are part of the problem and not the solution.

  5. rootietoot says:

    Recently, I made a comment that I had resorted to tears to get something accomplished. It was a serious something, involving medical issues and insurance, and logic wasn’t working, so I cried. Then I was accused of pandering to patriarchal values for doing that. My reply was that I would use whatever means necessary to get my family member the medical help he needed, and to say that I had to filter my every action through some lens of “patriarchy pandering” was classism, that i didn’t have the luxury of doing that, and he needed a doctor NOW. I choose to believe that true feminism allows a person to use whatever they have to get whatever they need. My husband isn’t afraid of using his size and masculine presence to accomplish his goals, and I’m not afraid of using my feminine wiles to get what I need. If they don’t like that, then they can come and argue with the insurance company on my behalf. Oh…but they’re too busy breathing that Ivory Tower Air to be bothered with the likes of housewives. Screw them, I’ll live my life however I need.
    Thanks for writing this.

  6. TrinityVA says:

    And all too often, this sort of feminism, well, guess what? It is all about the men. What men think. What men do. What ideas men might get in their heads. “If you do this, it makes me think this”, “If you act/dress/like X, it makes men think/do/say/believe this”. So much out there about what men do, what men say, what men think, how men feel (or don’t feel), what inspires or drives men to do ——-. All men, and all fear, and all fear of men, all the goddamn time, 24/7, 365 days.

    THIS. For folks who think it’s other people who are obsessed with men, they sure… think about men more often than I ever couldl.

  7. Dw3t-Hthr says:

    This this this this this.

    It boggles me that they can’t hear themselves.

    I mean, I’ll write something, and it’ll be all I did, I think, I want, and the response to stuff like that (they don’t deign to respond to me – Nine Deuce has never responded to the direct things I’ve asked her when she’s gone off on her anti-BDSM bullshit, though she’s responded to other people on the same blogs, and I fucking notice that I’m beneath her notice) is all about the men.

    What the hell.

    Feminism: treating women like me as nonentities for my entire fucking life.

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