Since I don’t have an AK, I am considering grabbing that sledge hammer and crowbar again…

Humans.  Jesus fucking christ!  Okay, not all humans, but some humans anyway…way back, and I mean seriously, it’s been awhile, I made a post about people who have never fucking made porn declaring themselves experts on the subject and how that torques me right the fuck off.  That entry has recently blown the fuck up.  And it is annoying me.  Not because I mind debating with/snarking on people like Billy, but because…

Well gee, way to fucking ignore the ENTIRE POINT of the whole fucking post- you know, that crazy idea that people involved in porn know more about it that those who are not…right on down to why yes, having to pay for our own testing!  Hell, I might have to go get that typical file I left over at the old blog! 

And did I miss somewhere that California was named the center of the known universe and thus anything that occurs outside its earthquake prone borders is somehow…meaningless?  Christ, if that is true, I really, really need that AK, because I am packing up my shit and heading for the hills in West Va…because the freakin’ Zombie Apocalypse is Coming!!!

(looks into buying razor wire for the compound…)

You write one dang post with the Duke Boys & the General Lee on it…

So yeah, I was actually planning on writing a post here this eve (since it has been awhile) about myself, Vlad, and the esteemed Duke Of Ashburn…so you can kind of imagine my shock when I came on over here after watching The History Channel All Day…    “bodies cut up, labels so people don’t eat there own kin”- ahem, Donner Party, for those who actually want to know…and well, this entry had blown the hell up.  Just…that one.  Sure, I axed comments on one similar entry, but just…that one.  Not in the Key of Z, just the key of X.  Because you know….I said such controversal shit there.  And there are no untrue horrible stereotypes or assumptions about….those people.  Of course.  I also find it grimly amusing to get taken to task by folk who pretty much seemed to have stopped reading me since I sacked the empire or whatever.  Oh, hey, you got your neck cut open?  Crickets.  You dare to say what you said in that post…blarg comment central fuckity fuck on you yer WRONG.

So I ask you…is this the face of a woman who is suddenly going to say OH GEE, you are all sooooo right and I (and I alone, of course) am viewing this all through a personal filter and am just rolling in all kinds of privilege and am totally unfounded in my beliefs, observations, or points????

Yeah, I don’t think so either.  Hell, I will even really go out on a limb here…as a student of history, leaning towards military history even, I will even say this guy and this guy are incredibly fascinating historical figures and if I could have a drink with two historical figures, well, they just might be my choices…though this guy is also high on my list! 

Then again, I might just hang out with my Grandfather, who had these amazing words of wisdom after his oh so joyous experiences in WWII:  “I don’t hate Germans, Germans are fine.  I hate Nazi’s”.

See that quote there?  It’s important.  Very much so.  Because that is the boiled down essence of In the Key of X; extremist level hate is NOT okay, out of ANYONE.  No Group of people…not a single goddamn one…deserves to be judged by any hateful extremist groups that might be within it.  That kind of hatred is not acceptable out of anyone; not white people, not people of color, not men, not women, not christians, muslims, jews or teh sooper sekret Fuck Zen Buddhist Militia.  It ain’t okay.  And there are no qualifications you can put on it that makes it more or less okay.  At least not in my house you can’t.   You might be able to “get” it, but getting it is not the same thing as saying “that’s okay”.  Hell, maybe I just wasn’t clear enough in the Key of X.  It should be clear now I hope. 

Because guess what?  On that matter?  I ain’t wrong.  If you feel otherwise…please redirect yourself to the photo.

“C.O., take me back to my cell!”

when it comes to vetting and understanding whats being expected of women, and ensuring that things are fairly applied and interpreted when it comes to *us* we have…radical feminists.  yeah, all 19 of us, taking on the same responsibilities and taking it just as seriously as a multi-billion dollar, international industry…and we are doing it, largely, with no money, and no time.  and most of the laws pertaining to us are unwritten, to boot.  (something men would never stand for by the way.  if its not written down, they dont have to do it.  simple as that).

and interestingly, our “clients” (other women) rarely appreciate our services, at all.  almost all of them fight radical feminists every fucking step of the way.  then when they have what they want, and are enjoying the fruits of our (and our mothers and grandmothers) labor, they call radical feminists fucking cunts and thank the men for “evolving.”  the lack of appreciation happens in civil and criminal defense too, but at least most lawyers dont have their clients trying to claw their way BACK INTO prison.  and most of them arent ”consensually” fucking the guards (or very deeply in love with them).

Okay, admittedly, amid the ranting and typically stupid BS of that there linked post, the woman has a point- there is/can be a lot more to sex than a penis in a vagina.  Hell, there are all kinds of things one can do other than piv sex, there are plenty of women who do not particularly like piv sex and enjoy other things a lot more, there are women who do not have piv sex at all, you name it, when it comes to sex, there is a lot more out there than piv.  Sure enough.  No arguments here, even as a gal who likes piv sex, I sure as hell know there are all different and other kinds of things out there in the great realm of sex that do not include piv. Word.  And I am pretty sure there are a whole ton of other women- even those horribly sexually available “fun” ones who know this as well.  Rock on.

But  ::glances at quoted section:: come on, you KNOW I could not resist snarking at that shit now, right?  I mean, it practically BEGS to be snarked upon.  For one, does this woman think she is the dang Clarence Darrow of woman-kind (total, all of them)?  Our great and shining liberator and advocate?  Does this meat sack, who deigns to tell women what kind of sex they can and cannot, should or should not have, tell them when they are raped and when they are not, if they can or cannot be raped, when they have choices and when they do not, how sexually available they are (or are not) to all men, or hey, if they are women or are not- blah blah blah blah blah amen honestly think that we should…oh, be fucking appreciative???

For real?  We should be lining up to say “Gee, thanks you fucking asshole for being a fucking asshole?”  One, that is what I get thanked for, and two…

Really?  Are you freakin’ nuts?  And I ask that as a person with some seriously odd wiring myself!  I mean the freakin’ arrogance is stunning to me- to claim that all gains made for women were made by Radical Feminists, and then to wing on about how so very, very grateful we unappreciative ‘convicts’  should be?  Seriously, Sister, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

None of us, not one single woman out there owes you or anyone else anything.  Jack and Shit, sister, is what we owe you.  If you were a damn corporation, trust me, the board of directors would have served your head up on a plate a long time ago because yer business practices suck eggs and offend the consumer population base- regardless of demographic!  And then you write this cute little tirade about how ungrateful women are after all your hard work…you want a thank you?

I’m afraid a fuck you is gonna have to suffice.

Officer, I am done with my attorney, take me back to my damn cell.

 

Add this one to the moron files…

This just in:  “Fun Feminist” = Stupid Slut, apparently.

I mean, am I the only one who finds it grimly amusing that this squid assumes any gal who might fall into the “fun Femme” role is, oh, promiscuous, into open relationships,okay with her man sleeping with other people, and unaware of the potential health risks of such things???  For real?  Like that is a given and requirement and whatnot…or that all so-called fun femmes are even…straight?

Hahahhaahha.  Man is this woman stupid.  And I even say this shit as a gal who has had,er, a fair amount of partners and you know, I have been lucky (and cautious-thank you) enough to remain disease free and all.

I also gotta say, when I read shit like this, my reaction is varied.  I find it amusing, really, because she’s so damn preachy and presumptive.  And stupid.  I also find the stupidity annoying and enraging. Then, usually after I have stopped snickering and read through the comments, I sorta feel sad for women like this- women who fail to see people beyond their biology, changes in that biology, “man”/”woman” status, women who are convinced MEN  (all of ‘em) are the enemy, so on so forth….and I rather wonder how it is that they are, well, so different from me.  I mean, if “born biology” and “life experiences as a born woman” and all that crap were really such great bonding agents, you’d think there would be some commonality there, some thing or feeling or whatever that would be a link for all of us to see, grasp, and base shit off of…but you know, that shit just ain’t there.  These gals would all rather sing the praises of Dworkin and talk about the evil and violence of men ( and stupidity of fun femmes and transwomen) and I would, oh, rather drink beer, play video games, stockpile weapons, and er…hang out  and party with people who look like that dude up there.   There is no common anything here, folks, aside from some organs and such.  Otherwise, I am pretty sure we are from different planets.   It kind of freaks me out sometimes.  Their fear…it’s funky.  I can’t imagine living with that shit, really.

Oh Canada, How Dare They?!? (WTF edition)

Pfft.

As some of you may know, yesterday, The Canadian Women’s Hockey team beat the USA for gold.

And then those brazen hussies had the NERVE to…celebrate…

Canadians.  Celebrating.  A Gold Medal….in HOCKEY!  How DARE THEY?  How dare these women drink some booze and party up a bit (in the rink, after everyone left), how dare they cut loose and have some fun after winning Gold Medals in the Religion of Canada!!!!!

Ahem.

What a load of horse shit.  Sexist Horseshit no less. 

I, for one, do not think for a second that if it had been the Canadian Men’s Team having a private On Ice Kegger after winning Olympic Gold people would be so damn flustered.  I also think that anyone who harshes on an Olympic athlete for Having Some Fun after competing is a moron.  MORON!  Good gods, these people WORK HARD and stress out to be as good as they are, the deserve to cut loose and have some fun.  None of these women were out starting a bar fight, or behind the wheel, or scaring uptight people…they were having a deserved victory celebration.  That is NO Big Deal….and I really do not think that it would be such a huge scandal if this had been ANY men’s team doing the same thing.

What, are we  supposed to believe that Hockey Players do not like Beer and Gold Medals,  or if they happen to be women hockey players, they sure as hell shouldn’t?

Pfft. 

All I gotta say is this:  Congrats, Team Canada, you played well and won…and oh yeah….CHEERS!

Holy Shit…

Check this….

IT’S FREAKIN’ SNOWIN’ here….AGAIN!

Right. So I guess I only have a few things to say about this…

Grumble.

I don’t watch MTV.  So I cannot comment on the show.  But you know, it strikes me as amazingly wonderful when women who, oh, you know, care about women, bust on their fashion sense and bodies- fake or not.   A long, long, long time ago in that other blog I wrote about how I was just not down with women cracking on other women’s appearances, no matter what they were….guess what?  I’m still not.  I think it is fucking shitty to bust on a woman if she is overweight, or if she has acne, or if she has stretch marks, and likewise, I think it is shitty to bust on her if she is thin, or has big boobs, or big hair, or dresses in low cut shirts.   Same shit, different day.   Some folk- feminist or not- just cannot deal or cope without ripping other women down because of the way they look or dress.  Sad really…as if ripping on a size three gal in booty shorts with big boobs is gonna make anything better or make anyone truly more comfortable in their own skin.  How fucking hard is that to get, really?

And you know…I bloody well DARE someone to actually PROVE that stripping or stripper like work out routines- think what you will of them on other levels- are not Work Outs.  No one has to like them, no one has to think they are empowering, I so don’t give a fuck about that, but if one is gonna claim they are not a good cardio workout, I am gonna say they are a fucking idiot who knows nothing…and I’m gonna be right.

Dude…

Technically, anything under Delaware is considered “the South”, right…I mean, DC, MD, VA…south, yes?

Then explain this to me, please…I mean, this looks like NY, or IL, or MN, or CO, or MA…

I swear there is a Saturn under there somewhere…

Raised windshield wipers, screaming “heeelllp meeee!”

That’s what a foot + of snow looks like on my deck railing…and still snowing strong!

20+ inches, y’all.

And, a view of  intrepid  traveller Vlad from his corner of the tundra!

Airports closed, roads a scary, scary disaster…Das Blizzard of 2009!

Oh my my my what do we have here?

Normally right now I would be taking the opportunity to point out the utter fail Amanda M has displayed- yet again- when it comes to the sex industry and how women have used it- namely ‘Playboy’- to Get Things They Want (from plain old money to add campaigns to movie deals to free advertising for their ventures too…) but you see, old hag me (see, shit, I am way over 23 and all) has decided instead to crown myself Super King Big Nuts and just- oh- say a few things that have been eating at my black little soul wrt to Amanda and 90% of the shit she says anyway…

But before I begin, was it not Amanda who was just positively empowerful as fuck and defending herself like mad when, oh, she got a hat tip from dear old playboy not so so long ago?  Why yes, I do think it was!  Humm, once again, I guess it is all good when people are gushing all over Amanda rather than the rest of the unwashed masses, eh?  Then again, what do I know?  I am not a young indie hipster with non-fake perky tits who has book deals (and fucking horrible book covers) like super-cool I R SO AWESOME Amanda now, am I? 

Yet still, I do wonder how old hag from working class roots fake boobied nude modeling/strippering/porning blah blah blah little old me ever managed to be…and I do not ever generally say this…so much smarter than Uber Cool Amanda there?  I mean, could it be that when I decide to open my mouth I actually know what the fuck I am talking about rather than trying to make myself sound so much better and more empowerful than all those other girls?  Could it be that I take, and have done so for a great many years, the opportunity to educate myself on various matters-from sex workers rights to freakin’ Roman History- before acting like a fucking idiot about topics of which I know nothing?  Could it be, what, that because I am older than she who is so hip and perky and just with the beat of the new generation and omniscient on all its workings just don’t honestly give a fuck about being “cool” anymore?

Could it be because I do not claim to be a feminist then use words like “bimbo” or trash other women for their looks or how they personally may or may not find things to be empowering? 

And I do have to wonder just what precious dear little Amanda knows about how seriously women in the sex biz do or do not get taken.  I hazard a guess at a big fat nothing.  Nada.  Zero, zip.  However, not actually knowing anything has never stopped Amanda from opening her trap before now, has it?  I am sure if someone were to ask the Perky Wonder Girl what was the best way to rotate rice farming on overused patties in a the dry season in the Eastern Province of China…with tweezers… she would have an answer- no research needed- because she is just Amazing(!) that way.  And, as it is so often, I would be willing to bet her answer would be wrong.  Because you see, as I sit here in my industrial bunker plotting the downfall of modern civilization I am well aware of many women in the sex industry who are taken very seriously.  Seriously enough that they have helped found and fund health care organization, spoken to and with law makers, are invited and respected guests in University settings, have news columns, work in the field of human rights, are on the news…and why yes, and perhaps the biggest testament to just how seriously they are taken…are threatened, feared and silenced.  You know you have hit the big time of being taken seriously when people start to threaten you, and do so with serious intent and malice.  You know no one is just giggling away when they are afraid of you.  You know that people fear just how seriously you can be seen when they actively attempt to erase you.  At that point you know that you are being taken seriously and other people fear just what the hell you might have to say.  And it does not matter how young and cute you are or how old you are or any other such thing:  the second people threaten you, show fear, or try to shut you up, well, being taken seriously becomes a goddamn in your face fact of reality. 

That being the case….hummm, who are the fun, stupid, bimbos now and who are as serious as  crate full of AK-47′s?

Why yes, that’s what I thought. 

But now, now, I won’t be all mean, after all, I should just sit back and let Amanda bask in her own perkiness and empowerfulness and all that.

I’ll be over here polishing my AK and wondering how the fuck she ever got out of college with all her crappy “facts”.

Jesus F@%king Christ…

IF you are going to attempt to make me sound like a fucking rapist because A) you have willfully altered what I’ve actually said, B) are too fucking stupid to actually understand what I’ve said or C) Have not actually read what I have said…at least then have the fucking stones to publish my reply comment where your fucked up assumptions about what you think I have said are negated and your wrong take on them is clarified.

What the fuck is wrong with you?  For someone with a handle like “FactCheckMe” you could stand to do a whole hell of a lot more of that yourself, you freakin’ imperious and patronizing  idiot!