Archive for the ‘WTF???’ Category

Fun with Medical Professionals…

Posted: May 14, 2011 in WTF???

So, I am trying to get this shit set up so I can get those dang shots in my spine, which, for fairly obvious reasons I think, is a hospital procedure and not an in office one.  Thus far its gone a bit like this:

(phone in hand)

Ren:  Hi, my name is ——, and I am calling to set up a epidural spinal cortisone injection.
Hospital Pain Management Person:  Your referring doctor?
Ren: Dr. ——
HPMP: Your insurance?
Ren: Group ——-, id number ——-, carrier ——–
HPMP:  Well you’re referring doctor has not faxed us a referral.
Ren:  I have the referral.  I am holding it in my hand, looking at it, right now.
HPMP:  Can you fax it to us?
Ren:  No.  (if my scanner wasn’t busted, I might be able to), but I can bring it in if you will give me a time to do so.
HPMP:  Well, we usually don’t set up consults without a referral.
Ren;  I HAVE a referral, RIGHT HERE.  If you just set an appointment time, I can BRING IT WITH ME.
HPMP:  We will call your doctor and get them to fax us one, then call you back to set up an appointment.
Ren:  Okay, do you need her number?
HPMP:  Oh, that would be helpful!
Ren:  It’s ——–

I have had this conversation with three different people in the last week, and thus far, no call back.  I have also called my Back Doc and informed her of this, and she is like “YOu have a referal.”  

You know that steamy little angry face with the frown and closed eyes and the wavy lines coming off it you see on pissed off anime people?  That is me, right now.

So come monday, I will try again, if that does not work, I will GO to the hospital, referral in hand, find the morons who man the phones in the Pain Management Dept, shove said referral in their faces, and suggest they USE their copy machine and give me a goddamn appointment, but even BEFORE doing this, I will call the back doc and tell her to Please, Please just fax a copy of the fucking thing over. 

Perhaps THEN I can figure out a way to get my needles to the back underway.

In other medical news, my cat Sharon finally got spayed.  She looks sooo tiny with a shaved belly, and I do believe she is both pissed off and embarrassed.

Okay, I admit it, I’m a slacker.    I have been WANTING to do that post on that picture my bro thought was just so damn funny, but now I cannot find the picture, so…improvise I guess…anyway, here we go:

Yo, Brother Evolution, and Mr. E to a Lesser Extent…that Picture is NOT as funny as you think it is, and well, it’s bullshit.

Now I realize it looses something without the actual picture, but yeah, that was the one my brother thought was just hilarious as have other men apparently.  And it’s also an overriding theme in pop culture, pop psychology, comedy and everything else:  that men are SIMPLE creatures and women are JUST SO COMPLICATED.   I cannot tell you how many talk show doctors, authors, so on, so forth, have been spouting this shit in recent years and it amazes me that men and women alike nod their heads to this shit and agree not realizing that its insulting as shit to both men and women.  If you actually buy into this notion, you are buying into a theory that suggests all men need out of life and their partners is food, sex, and occasional compliments to their egos and they are JUST FINE, no other upkeep required, and women should all come with instructional manuals like those found at NASA, otherwise, they are just soooo complicated no one will ever understand all their wants and needs….

Seriously, wtf?  Last time I checked, men and women WERE the same species and all, and I kinda like to think that men are more in-depth and require more outta life than, oh, a goldfish would, and women are not like that old freakin’ television you have to dust only on tuesdays, kick on thrusdays, and call the cable company to come fix every other week.    And people are just FEEDING and GOING with that goddamn theory:  Women are talkers, men aren’t, women show their emotions, men don’t, women complain, men don’t, men are Of Action, women Aren’t, women have all these little secret codes and modes and men just are blunt…blah blah blah blah blah.  BULLSHIT.  And who ever got the idea that women cannot sometimes just be satisfied with food, sex and compliments and that is ALL men need?

GAHHHHH!

I was gonna say some shit here about me, but see, then I know I would get a lot of the “but Ren, yer….kinda like a dude…” so I am NOT gonna bother with that.  I will say this though:  Most of the men in my life?  Husband, friends, even that giggling at this shit Bro of mine?  Way more dials than me.  But they act like they ain’t got those dials cause men don’t have dials, dammit, that’s a CHICK THING.  Smirk…I have seen totally slagged car engines that are less complicated than a whole lot of men out there, but the car engine isn’t stupid or sentient enough to deny it.  Are there differences between men and women?  Yes.  Is there is this great and simple matter of complicated  vs not complicated between them?  Hell no.  Truth is, PEOPLE are complicated regardless of biological sex and I think MOST of em want more outta life and people in their lives than food, sex, and compliments. 

And you know what can totally blow this theory about men merely having an on off switch?  Hell, I might have to record men in my life to prove this shit….  watch them talking about shit they care about.  Jobs, sports, their families, things they enjoy, people they like, things they do, relationships they are in….a lot more than an on off switch going on there.  They talk, they want to be listened too and understood, they get passionate, or argue with those whose views are different, they get defensive, or contemplative, or grin and laugh, or even end up crying in their beers.  ANd when sick?  Holy crap men often are way more sad/complainy/pathetic than a lot of women I know!  They sure as shit show their pain  LOL.  Now true enough, for eons untold men may have been told to “man up” and not show emotion or be human or have feelings or any of that shit, and women may have been told to be emotional and don’t be tough or stoic or whatever….but that doesn’t mean both men and women have a full array of complex and complicated wires and gears working in their brains and it does not mean both don’t require and enjoy above and beyond food/sex/feed the ego.   Painting men as these simple On/Off creatures and women as these vastly complicated Switches and Dials things does a disservice to both and continues to perpetuate so much of this stupid gender crap Men are THIS and Woman are THAT shit that just, well, fucks everyone over. 

It’s my personal opinion that men and women are both HUMAN…and humans are fairly complex things.

*Edit, ah, thank you for finding the picture!

As a side note, for those who are fans on that uber odd violent High Fantasy /Horror/Smut  fiction of mine with the General and Martell and all that?  Starting that shit back up over at the LJ fairly soon)

Dear Universe….

Posted: April 22, 2011 in Personal, Rants, women, WTF???

You know all that bitching and whining I did in puberty about having no freakin’ womanly curves and all that shit?

I TOTALLY take it ALL back….

AH yes, this is a shopping story.  Once, about every five years or so, when summer rolls around I find myself looking at the shorts I’ve worn for the last five summers (usually three pairs or so), deeming them derserving of a merciful death, and in need of new shorts…which will hopefully last another 5 summers.  So it was this summer- and I decided hey, since I am gonna BE in FL, I might as well shop for shorts there because – well, being FL and all- they will prolly have a better selection and stuff will be cheaper (always is)….  So the Renegade found herself in a Target, looking for a couple pair of new shorts.

I head first to the Women’s Dept.  Where sizes range from about 8 to 32.  I am not, nor have I ever been close to any of that myriad of sizes….thus, we then go to the Juniors Section, where I, at age 39, seem to be relegated if I ever wanna buy anything off the rack that will fit…so I am poking around- and I note something- in both the women and juniors sections:  They have shorts, a ton of colors and patterns and sizes and stuff….but they are all…well…REALLY short.  I mean seriously, no golf shorts, no walking shorts, and well, it’s a goddang rare freakin’ day when you can EVER find cargo shorts- the real deal and not some lowrise pocket lacking poor ass attempt at cargo shorts in any female based clothing department…but yeah, EVERYTHING is really, really short- tennis short short to Daisy Duke short short…and thats it… well, not true, ONE pair of walking shorts, but they were pink and lime green plaid and a size 18- so yeah, that shit ain’t happenin’.

At which point a Renegade becomes *quite* put out.  Now sure, there is a time and a place for shorter shorts- but hell, for daily all summer wear, I do not want that.  I don’t want shorts that are so short if I sit outside on a lawn chair I am gonna burn the fuck outta my thighs (or, considering the lengths of these things-my ass) on the dang chair.  And I am thinking this is Florida!  People wear shorts 360 days a year down here, and for some reason, I cannot see too many women over 30, or over 100 pounds, or who need to sit on damn car seats or lawn chairs- wanting to wear short-shorts ALL the fuckin’ time!  I mean seriously…I cannot be the ONLY woman in the world who prefers looser, baggier, longer shorts with actual REAL pockets, can I?  Well, if the women’s/junior’s departments in this massive freakin’ Target are any indication…I am.

So I grumble and eyeball a pair of the shorts shorter than what I actually want to wear, thinking how the holy hell am I gonna hook my wallet chain and keys and leatherman and shit on these stupid flimsy ass things… and then I look at the price tag…and the answer is Oh Hell No…

But then I have a thought…

See, for years uncounted, well, from puberty on anyway, I have been aware of the fact (and often teased for the fact) that well, I ain’t blessed in the curves department.  Hell, the few I have?  I bought  ‘em.  Much like most of the women in my family…I am ALL shoulders and spine, really…and hips?  Heh…I dreamed of having those once, but guess what?  Never happened….so, devious minded non-hip having me heads to the Boy’s Department…

SCORE! 

Yep Yep Yes indeedy, the Renegade is now the proud owner of three pairs of ACTUAL cargo shorts, with all the pockets and everything!  Nice, heavy-duty, long, loose and baggy and wonderfully comfy REAL LIFE CARGO SHORTS!  Six Pockets per Pair!  And they cover my thighs when I sit on lawn chairs and hot car seats!  Boy’s Size 16 baby, and they fit PERFECT….oh yeah, and were like 12$ a pair and decently made and hell, should hold up a few summers and did I mention….came in colors like black and tan and (sighs lovingly) camo and NOT pink and teal and yellow?  My wallet chain has a happy new home!

Hell yeah, y’all….

So all that bitching and whining I did about having no curves and ALL the jokes I have heard from folk about being built like a 14 year old boy?  Heh, yeah, thank god for that shit!!!

*and I am not even gonna START on the only short shorts and skirts and skimpy ass bikinis and shit in the GIRLS dept.  WTF…I mean seriously…just WTF????

Urggh.  So..um…yeah.  Check this shit.

See, so now it is time for Cracker to the Rescue, you know, to Save the White Woman and all, cause you know thats how us crackers roll.  (rolls eyes)…

Now that I’ve stated the snarked on version of what MAY get said because I, hick white chick, am choosing to address this and defend Daisy, another hick white chick…well, I am gonna do just that.

One:  When, where, how, who, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot did calling someone a “hippy” become an insult?  Last time I checked, calling someone a hippy was not oh, akin to calling someone a dick or asshole or some racial slur…esp. when a self described hippy is speaking about a fellow hippy, oh, in the era of hippies?  There is nothing particularly wrong with being a hippy…it is not a horrible thing…and well, folk who jumped all over her for calling a dang hippy a hippy? Um, yeah, obviously folk with too much goddamn time on their hands which they obviously use FINDING stupid shit to get pissed off/offended about.  Hey, Daisy, yer a fuckin’ Hippy!  Wooo, horrible of me, ain’t it? 

Two:  You know what I love?  When white folk storm in yelling at other freakin’ white folk who are talking about their own experiences in dealing with racism and tell ‘em they are doing it wrong and are shitty allies to people of color…’cause you know, the whining white folk are obviously better at….what?  Doing all the same shit they accuse Daisy of doing/being?  Ah-ha!  That must be it!    I mean, I guess there are white ladies, and super awesome special bestest of the best ally white ladies, and well, they gotta tell Daisy how it’s done PROPER!  Snerk.  I love it when folk do the exact same shit they take other folk to task for doing….

Three:  Hey, Daisy, you Hippy…how DARE you write a post in a way that is NOT the way Other People (esp White Ones) THINK you shoulda done it?  The freakin’ nerve, woman, actually putting things in your own words and speaking from your own experiences and not doing it the way other people think you shoulda…how dare you?  I mean, what were you thinking, talking about actual lived experiences and shit rather than theory and academic solution and how you shoulda done it better and the way other folk think you should’ve?  It’s not like shit like, oh, actually having been there and done that means shit, you know…esp. when the REALLY special white ladies say so….

Snerk…what a goddamn cluster fuck…guess that will learn ya Daisy when it comes to writing stuff you thought folk might find interesting or useful…how dare you….

then again, fuck ‘em…cause even if you ARE doing it right, there is gonna be some nit-picky moron who is gonna tell you that you’re doing it wrong…but hell, doesn’t mean they’re right really now, does it?

HIPPY HIPPY HIPPY!!!!

Man some people deserve a trip to the woodshed.

or at least its starting off that way…never can tell how these things will go…

So, here in about, oh, five hours or so, I shall begin my day of Doctor Madness.  Nine am is the appointed hour for the next installment of needles in my neck scars, then long about 11:30, it will be MRI time.  I’ve never had an MRI.  A lot of folk are freaking out because I am not freaking out.  I seriously cannot imagine it is that bad.  I mean, come on, I have been set on fire….shit’s gotta be pretty horrible to rate as scary for me nowadays.  I guess I can let ya know how it goes after it goes, yeah? 

I realize I still owe y’all a post on the Super Main Difference between a Harm Reduction and an Abolition Stance…and I will prolly get to it this weekend.  Heck, I might even knock out some more tweeker humor and that epic thesis on sexism in gaming..

But before I head out for now, I gotta ask…

Y’all have heard about the Government Shut Down Right?  If not, and for my non-American readers…well, yeah, they are prolly gonna shut down the Government.  Gov. employees will not be working, folk won’t be gettin’ paid (including Active Duty Military personel…WTF???  SERIOUSLY?!??!) and pretty much all other non-essential personel- oh, and essential personel….they will still be working- but may not be getting PAID for it…until, well, later…whenever… and you wanna know what chaps my ass about THIS shit????

Fucking Congress, who, oh, utterly FAILED to set out a budget at ALL last year?  Those dickweeds?  THEY ARE STILL GETTING PAID….now really, ask me who deserves their paycheck more?  Some fucking politician, or some person with a significant other and kids to feed who is over in Iraq right now, you know, in a war?  Tough call there, eh?  I feel like since freakin’ congress were the ones who screwed the pooch and did not do their fucking jobs and make a budget, they are the assholes who shouldn’t get paid.   And I wanna kick the shit out of the morons who are trying to drag all their political agendas into all this shit when, oh, the people who inspect our meat, or defend our country, or oh, run our historical landmarks, national museums and parks, and oh, actually keep shit running are getting sent home and not paid…or still working and not getting paid.   Such a load of horsehit really, complete with flies.

Does it ever fucking stop?

Posted: March 3, 2011 in WTF???

So, I was over looking and Joan’s blog and it seems some person, a person I do not even know, is being lied about, threatened, outed, and otherwise wolf-packed by other people on line because, well, she has opinions different from those people.  Yes, I realize wars are still being fought today over that kind of thing, but as a person who has, oh, been lied about, threatened with outing and had shit dug up on them by a wolf-packing group of mother fucking assholes (why yes, you idiots, I am WBW and shit!) I gotta say WHEN DOES IT FUCKING STOP AND WHEN DO PEOPLE GROW THE FUCK UP AND REALIZE OTHER PEOPLE ARE GONNA DISAGREE WITH THEM, SAY SHIT THEY DON’T LIKE, BE HARSH OR CAUSTIC and that does not give you the fucking right to endanger them?  HOW FUCKING BASIC IS THAT?

And you know what?  That sorta shit inspires reactionary violence and vitrol.  What do people do when they are threatened or harmed?  Well, a lot of them fight the fuck back in some shape or manner…and will use excessive force to see that it doesn’t happen again.  I mean really, what do you do to someone who keeps stabbing at you?  You put them the fuck down so they STOP.  Phsycially, verbally, legally, illegally, whatever, you END that shit.

So yeah, I really think some people out there need to realize if theydo not ever want to be in a position where THEY are paranoid and worried and not sleeping and in fear and distress…they shouldn’t put OTHER people there.

Idiots.  I swear to god, the word is full of fucking morons.

Yeah, sure, I know this time of year the weather is always weird and screwed up, but this shit is asinine this year.  It was nice today, sixties, sunny, lovely, all that, tomorrow (or well, later today) its supposed to be 70, but rain like hell, then Tuesday…32 degrees.  Enough already. Bring on the warm weather please!

In other news, I bravely went out and poked around in blog land, and let me tell you….I am soooo glad I stopped doing “that shit”.  I mean for real, nothing has changed.  There are still weekly arguments On Great Feminist Blogs about make up and anal sex (clue here, don’t give a fuck if you do or do not wear lipstick and heels, don’t give a fuck if you do or do not take it up the ass, and don’t care if you think doing or not doing either of those things or related shit makes you better or more enlightened or seeing the really real world more than other people…btw, did you hear that Kyle Payne got busted for child porn, or were ya too busy trying to more feminist than thou other women to death?  I missed that shit cause I been in pain and off the net…but I suspect other folk did because they were too busy jeering/cheering anal sex and Great Lash.  Hell, I even checked by on that lying sack of shit Sam Berg’s place where the Strong Womyn Tribe is still at it….But hell, it ain’t just crazy on the feminist front..check THIS shit out…read the comments, then laugh or let your head explode as desired…

Now see, that there subject is one I’ve never fully understood.  The whole numbers thing.  Why or why not is discussed to death in there though, so I am not gettin’ into it.  Though I will smile and wave at the dude who equates one night stands to low character.  Heh, I got tons of fuckin’ character, thank you very much!  But yeah, I swear to God, that thread is just….a laughable car crash?  Feminists and MRA’s are ALWAYS good for a few laughs.  I love how the dudes always go to “biology” and “historically” and how, well, damn, all those bitches are just trying to trick men into raisin’ other dudes babies!  All of em!  As if people cannot have sex without, oh, taking precaution to avoid having babies and all that…and then totally ignore the, oh, the biology mentioned by a woman commenter there which is, well, as true as their own shit.  Pfft.  Humans.  And are those some seriously nit-picky meatsacks or what???

Anyway, I may or may not get to actually posting something here tomorrow…we’ll see.

prepares to step right in it, both feet.

AKA:  Teacher is against bullying and intolerance, so he forces a female student to remove a part of her clothing and tells a Catholic Student to Get Out of his classroom…how…tolerant.

Okay then.  Now, sure as shit bullying is an issue in schools, in life, in the greater human condition.  And yep, both that dang hick flag and being Catholic are contraversal things these days…way more so than even being gay in some circles.  And true enough, gays get bullied in life and in school, and there is nothing wrong with discussion about intolerance and how it is wrong to make people feel uncomfortable for being gay…yet when one is attempting to foster greater understanding and tolerance and making folk feel comfortable with themselves - how does it make sense to tell a girl to remove an item in a classroom full of students and then eject another from said class for his relgious beliefs?

To me, it doesn’t.  I seriously wonder if a Muslim or Hindu or Amish student had said “I don’t support homosexuality because of my religion” if his ass woulda got tossed out of class, or if a discussion that was TRULY conducive to tolerance of all people and their various beliefs might have been engaged in?  I wonder if a male student wearing a buckle with the flag of any one of the numerous Southern States which, oh, look a lot like that dang hick flag would have been told to take it off, or if a skate rat punk kid sporting something with the Iron Cross, ala, oh, West Coast Choppers, would’ve been told to take it off?  Or if a kid in a Washington Redskins or Cleveland Indians jersey woulda been told to take it off….or if maybe an actually tolerant debate of the implications of those images might have been had?    I also sorta wonder in what realm of earth are we when teachers and faculty assume they can tell students what bumper stickers they can and cannot have on their personal vehicles in the parking lot? I also sorta wonder what sort of boneheaded excuses for teachers we have when students who are asking questions and wanting answers- on a day when a topic of note is supposed to be tolerance and bullying- can get fucking ejected from a class room for daring to ask and question….I mean Jesus Christ, how dare a kid ever ask something that might be controversal in an environment which is supposed to be intellectually stimulating and a place in which to learn?

And yep, you know what?  I get that a whole lotta people do not like Catholics, or any other religion that does not condone homosexuality.  And I sure enough get that a whole lot of people do not like the Confederate Battle Flag, I even get that why yes, many schools have dress codes for a reason!   But fucking tossing students out of class for questioning something seems pretty fucking intolerant to me.

I wonder if either of the students in question in this case felt awkward, bullied or less than tolerated?

…”Fuck you intellectual bitches, we got guns, part II!”

So, I’ve been feeling particularly vile and sadistic here lately, and since I have no one around willing to, er, handle that, I found myself having to work some of that vibe out in a different way that would, oh, not only take an edge off but leave me also in pain:  Answer, Yoga.  Now see, I know Yoga is supposed to be all mellow and relaxing and stuff, and sure, some of the breathing and cool down stretches are nice- but over all?  I’ll take the rack, dude.  Yoga is more painful that relocating ones shoulder with a door jamb, and I would know.  But hey, no longer affording the gym and it’s what was on Fit TV and seriously…I needed to do something physical or lose my mind- so Yoga it was. 

Then, while still working out of this bent, I did something I really probably should not have- I poked around and read some blogs- looking around to see what other folk were talking about because a), I’ve been out of the loop, and b) I was bored and let me tell you this…

It’s a good thing I am too sore to pick up a damn sledge hammer.

Seriously, I am out there reading, and grinding my teeth while doing so…because you know what?  Nothing fuckin’ grimly amuses the shit out of me like a bunch of  women, who probably come from pretty nice middle class backgrounds, who are probably really damn educated, and in this case, well, many of whom seem to be lesbians sitting around talking about classism and sexism- then proceed to basically call straight women…idiots, deluded and uneducated.  Yes yes yes, indeedy, all those poor stupid straight women who barely graduate high school or drop out to get married and make babies and end up screwed and have NO skills- and of course, the obligatory asshole cockbearing overlord at the center of all of it!  Hell yeah, little Suzy Straight Girl might have been hot and mean back then, but NOW she is stupid and fucked!  Oh, poor Suzy Straight Girl (mock sad smile, condescending pat on the head)…

Now, last time I checked, Intelligence was not modified in any way by sexual orientation.  Do correct me if I am wrong.   I am also certain that no straight women out there (especially married ones!) ever became successful business professionals, made money, did well for themselves and no lesbians ever had kids, did not earn higher educations, or had bad relationships (snerk).

And the fact that class was even a PART of this discussion?  I seriously wonder if these people even realize how many women-of any color or sexual orientation- who are lower class, simply cannot get college educations (much less advanced degrees) or training that will give them good, professional jobs, how many of these women simply do not have the time, money or means (what, with the rest of life going on) to do these things?  Or if, gasp, these oh so wonderfully professional and educated and smart lesbians are they themselves really only an accident, a wave of downsizing, a tragedy, a medical emergency, or a company buy out away from being in the exact same sort of situation as the recently divorced diploma having single mom?  As if they could never end up there…because they are smart lesbians!  Or, if as smart lesbians, they are really any better off- because you know, not all straight women are uneducated breeders with no skills and an abusive shit of a man at home.  Now sure, I realize lesbians, especially non conventionally attractive ones, take some shit- but come on…

I want to know if they can change their own tires, clean their own kills, find a head gasket, re-wire a broken socket, sew their own clothing, or lift something that is 3/4 of their own body weight…or do they just have lower class straight gals or the men who are married to them to do that  for them?

Pfft.  discussions of classism from these folk…shit, do us all a favor- holidays are coming up- make yourself feel good by donating to a food drive and realize that to a lot of us not as educated lesser in class straight gals- you’ll always be douchebags…and maybe, just because you are not tainted by the cock?  You ain’t that smart.  And yeah, fuck you intellectual bitches, we’ve got guns!

Oh yeah, and anyone who wants to come along and do the “well, I have been made fun of, beaten up, yelled at, humiliated, hurt, so on for being a lesbian”…well guess what, sure, I have straight privilege, but I sure as shit have been all of those things for being lower class, so cry me a river, eh?

Bartender, make mine a double!

(AKA Where in Ren goes ahead and ponders on things she really has no fuckin’ business pondering on and probably comes off sounding extremely hypocritical, but hey, shit happens…)

And, I preface this with while, yes, I am formerly involved in stripping as a profession and still make porn from time to time- I am less than a month shy of 39 years old and have not seen tween-teenager, or hell, even early 20′s, in…awhile!

So, yesterday, Vlad and I were having a conversation about the men in his workplace (white collar kinda joint), and he stated that it had been his observation amid the males in his workplace, the 50+ men were somewhat chauvinistic, but in that old school sense, the 30 and 40 something fellows seemed to be just fine with and professional to the women in the workplace, and aside from “gee, Mary, that’s a nice outfit” there really wasn’t any sort of rude or sexist or inappropriate talk about women- in or out of the workplace- even around the water cooler and such, but the guys under/around 30, these educated came up well white collar dudes…well, they were some rude, disrespectful, sexist, vulgar, crude, misogynist motherfuckers. Not when having to deal with women in a profession capacity, but all other times? Yeah. And not just the work place women- but all women, in general.   They were just downright…vile.

I stated that I had noted the same thing, and its true. Ask me who the rudest most entitled woman hating shit heads I ever danced for or had/have to deal with in, well, any capacity, from at a store to trying to get a damn beer at a bar…and I’ll tell you this. It’s not the truck drivers/construction workers/bikers/retail working/enlisted military dudes of *any* age. It’s not the bartender/waiter/landscaper/mechanic/fireman/ types of dudes of *any* age. It’s not the older, established white collar dudes. It’s not the academics. It is, without a doubt, the college educated white collar privileged dudes in their 20′s to early 30′s…of any race.

So, a Renegade wondered…why is this? Why is it that these dudes are so hating of and disrespectful to women…from “women like me” to their co-workers to, well, the lady who just happens to be walking down the street minding her own business? Why is it that these fellows, with the rather privileged up bringings, college educations, good jobs, college educated parents, and nice places to live are more misogynist that well, the Older Old School Dudes who undoubtedly always had moms who were at home and in the kitchen and well, there were things that women just couldn’t or didn’t do?

So yes, the pondering began…and it went in a very odd order, so I am going to write all stream of thought and discussion here.

The first thing that popped into my head is well, in my case, women like myself have always been treated like that- by in large- by these sorts of dudes. But the fact that *I* had noticed an upswing in this sort of treatment, not even towards, oh, stripper chicks of a certain class, but other women- all women, and that a guy had noticed it and actually started the conversation? Well, that says something. So I started thinking, and did that thing I hate doing. I immediately stated “I blame hip-hop culture.” Yes, I admit it, I said it, and to an extent, I believe it.  See, I am about to sound Really, Really Old, but, yeah…

I grew up on Hair Metal, Goth, Industrial, Punk and Grudge. Elvis and Johnny Cash and the Oak Ridge Boys Ruled my parents music collection. Sure, Hair Metal was all about Hot Chicks and Wild Parties and Sex and Booze…but you know, my social circle…we knew that shit was for Rock Stars! Sure, there were dudes who wanted to be Axel Rose, and gals who wanted to do Axel Rose, but the chances of that happening? We knew they were so slim it was just best to go to school and work our shitty part time jobs and maybe we could then afford to get the CD’s those Rock Stars made. Goth, Industrial, Punk, Grudge…that music wasn’t about sex and partying and asshole dudes and easy girls for the most part…more Life Sucks, the Government Sucks, You Suck, I Suck, we all suck…so lets kick the crap out of each other on a dance floor and declare getting a bloody nose “fun”, and maybe, if you were really hard core…shoot some smack and off yourself. Sure, yes, we had scantily clad video girls and not well at all veiled sexual imagery and violence and sex in our music and the media that went with it. We had bad boys and girls who would do anything, anything, to earn those boys attention. But sure enough, I can tell you…amid my crew? The girl who in 7th, or 8th, or 9th grade was known for giving blow jobs to whomever for whatever…social pariah, and the dudes who she did it for? Marked as asshats and viewed accordingly by girls who wouldn’t do that. And I can tell you this as well, blue collar and economically depressed as my background may be…my parents would have kicked the shit out of me for doing it, and kicked the shit out of my brother if he got some girl to do that (* more on this later…)

But see, I look around today at the music and the culture that surrounds it, music that is HIGHLY mainstream and cross cultural. Hell, I can turn on MTV. I can hear what the dude of the age range I am discussing and his younger heirs apparent are blasting (way too goddamn loud) in their spiffy little cars next to me on the road. I can hear it when they request it in a bar or put it on the juke box or tune up for working out in the gym… and a shitload of it? Not one iota of respect or even human consideration towards women in it. All women are bitches and whores. All women are good for and only good at one thing. Women are disposable and to be used then disposed of, because there are a hundred more just like her out there…and hey, guys aren’t the only one who buy into this shit…gals do to. They see the designer clothes and jewelry and manly eyes sent their way, the “status” of being with a dude who has things…how shakin’ that ass will get them on the arm and drinks and maybe even gifts from a guy…and well, the whole thing angers and depresses the shit out of me. There is a reason I tend to prefer hanging out in goth clubs (they are far more cheery), or redneck pool halls (far more safe) than, oh any place where these dudes and these gals will be. Because simply put:

I cannot stand seeing a couple of twenty something gals dressed in less than what I wear to work fake bisexing it up for and fawning all over and getting hung up on guys who are saying flat out what bitches they are, but buying them drinks so they can take them home and fuck them anyway. It angers me that these dudes think so lowly of these women, and the women take it. Contradictory of me, the professional object? Yeah, on some level, it is. Difference being I’m a professional and knew what I signed on for, and at least I get paid for it, and I don’t actually hope, expect, pray or dream that any of these folks will respect or see me as human, let alone love me. Hell, I also often times get treated better than these gals…which is, simply put…scary. But come on, if one is immersed in a culture where 13 year old girls are blowing boys in the school bathroom…how the hell do men have a chance of respecting women, and how the hell are women gonna respect themselves? Especially when everything, everything about it, says that women are simply here for that and do not deserve respect and should not get or even want it?

And then, I cast my critical and hypocritical eye even wider…television/movies/visual media. This will be short but sweet. When ninety percent of the media out there spouts T&A jokes, have cut up dead slut of the week as a plot, rape scenes, men like the ones I am discussing getting pussy thrown in their face nightly, getting away with killing the cut up dead slut of the week, women being graphically tortured, rich dudes who posses wealth and power having women all over them no matter how horrible they are, and every strong female character ends up in peril, or needing saving by a dude, or some complicated romance with a brooding, hot, bad boy…WTF do we expect?

And wider the eye goes! The legal system, where rape victims end up being on trial. Sure, she can be drunk, drugged, passed out and there can be a video of it…but hey, the slut brought it on herself!

When you show people that money will buy you anything: cars, clothes, fine things, status, admiration, people, “justice”…and then people are further rewarded for it…ummm.

Dudes, when our concern about women’s health issues such as breast cancer ends up in with a slogan like “Save the Ta-Ta’s”????

It just ain’t savory.

And then, my mind rolled back to maybe where I should have started, and hey, I am gonna use a quote from the music I grew up on to do it: “

He comes from the home, a home where the parents are too busy to treat their children with respect….Adults create the world children live it. Juvenile delinquency is always rooted in adult delinquency. And in this process, parents play the key role. When children grow up among adults who refuse to recognize anything that is fine and good, or worthy of
respect…” - Ministry, “So What?”

Because you know what, I think there is some serious validity to that right there. Adults create the world children live in. And have some responsibility to them. And generally, I think, if respect is instilled and given, respect will survive-through whatever kind of media blitz and through whatever kind of pressure. If folk of any kind get some basic shit straight early on, and that is reinforced…well yeah, generally, it holds true. It may get battered around from time to time, it may get tested, it may get eroded, but if it is reinforced…hell, it just might hold. But if it is not there at all? Well shit…

And maybe that’s what’s up with these dudes. All these things, but that base one, right there? If its lacking…well, what the fuck can we expect?

Not much, I reckon.

 

(* I mean, I may have turned out twisted as hell, but in my house, much was lacking, but there was some common human respect.)

I also realize as a gal who does and has done what I do and have done for a living, I well, yeah. But I stated right out of the fuckin’ gate I was gonna be hypocritical. And frankly, I really do try to confine my for adults only shit to adults. Hell, have you seen my civilian wardrobe? Nah, I’m not perfect, but I do make some effort…I’m an adult, who has a hand in shaping the world children live in, and I get that.