Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
soon this blog goes away. I will still be on LJ, but I reckon I am done, thanks y’all for reading.
I do it every year, even if I think its a stupid holiday. I do it because regardless, I get my friends and fam over here, we eat, drink, are merry….last year I had lost a bet and was supposed to wear a skirt, so being me, I cooked and served in combat boots, an army spec. ops sweater, and…a kilt. My hair looked amazing thou, very Law and Order. For me, it is about good friends, family, food, football, and well, enjoyment. All other shit aside. I cook, the men clean :).
But I DO like to think about what I am thankful for, and ya know, I have some things. Infernal Spine aside, I am healthy. For the most part, more than many. I HAVE good friends, and an AMAZING family. I am thankful for my artistic abilities, and the roof over my head, and my mean streak. I am thankful I love music and love to be thankful that my parents introduced me to everything from MoTown to Country Western. I am thankful Chicago Exists, same goes for West VA.
I EVEN took the chainsaw outta my kitchen this year….
The answer is yes.
Truth be told, I am in anger management classes now, which is NOT all bad. I mean, I have temper and explosive rage monements that never end well, so yeah.
First thing they wanted to know…what Am I Angry At? The answer is easy: Everything. Its not so off for me to say I hate everyone and everything, except the Comedian, cause HE got it… but they wanted know…so wanna know what I hate?
I hate that the American Dream is a lie.
I hate I was told with two degrees I could make it.
I hate I was told that society values women for more than how they look, how they breed, and how well they stay lesser than men
I hate boredom
I hate people who do not take me seriously
I hate people not me getting them and them not getting me
I hate when I say leave me alone people don’t
I hate my weaknesses
I hate being “type cast”
I hate my spine
I hate people falling in love with me
I hate that some folk do not get that hate, humor, and rage is all I have, and all I have ever had. ANYTHING amazing I have ever done has not been because I WANTED TO do it, it has been because “I WILL SHOW THEM”
and I HATE people calling or thinking me stupid. Point flat out is you do NOT get to be as fucked up as me without having some brains. Take it.
Oh, and I HATE HATE HATE, they are KILLING city of, so….
Back from the dead….
I guess maybe I should explain my absence, but really, what is there to explain? I don’t sleep like a normal person, I don’t relate to people like a normal person. When most folk die, they are going to heaven or hell, I’d really prefer Chicago….and flat out….
I don’t blend with my fellow human too well. I get that now. Sure, I can be funny, charismatic, backs against the wall kinda gal…ultra loyal and caring about my family and friends…
But that does not mean I GET a lot of it. I really WANT to, but….
Heh, Rootie, the Sylar you made me moved off the shelf and back on my desk today. I liked him because…. I just want to know how it works, and if I know that, I can understand.
Oct 15 Monday….nearly a week with no sleep, and NOT by choice.
Heheheh, welcome to my world. I have Sylar days, and I have Peter days…
my back to have a goddamn flare up AND a pipe joint in my house to burst….while I have guests, who I like, who I said I would help them do something tomorrow, but now…plumbing!
list of things to do: destroy the souls of the contractors who built my house #1. #2, blow something right the fuck up ’cause it will make me feel better.
Castiel sums it up best. It’s odd, I’ve actually been out there reading and all those things. Nine D is on about porn, Hugo is doing Hugo things, blah blah blah the world goes on and all I can think of is man, I wanna slap some people upside the head for a billion different reasons. I’ve been apathetic, which means…Supernatural. If you watch it, you know how Cas is so outta it when it comes to people? Yep, that’s me most days, hence, the Cas slamming shots photo.
Im just kinda over a whole ton of shit these days. People are the same, every day, the same, expecations lead to massive disappointment, people you counted as friends turn to bitter fucking enemies and IF yer lucky, you have some GOOD damn days where its all worth it and you grin and have a good time and all that stuff that IS pretty awesome.
I’ve had some of those days here lately, can’t say that I’ve not. Good ones. Where shit is awesome in all ways and for reasons I don’t discuss in public. Then there are days that take all that awesome and kinda throw it in the shitter and leave you feeling like Cas and wishing you had his tolerance…
I’m just feelin’ amazingly outta touch and not like most humans today, and amazingly…apathetic.
I’ve never done well with Apathy. I’m just not real sure what is even worth fighting for anymore aside from the sheer love of fighting.