Archive for December 16, 2011

My new favorite bumper sticker…ever.

Posted: December 16, 2011 in The Funny

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!

Why don’t you ever dress up?

Posted: December 16, 2011 in Humans, Personal

Or, more specifically, why doncha ever dress…girlie?

Okay, sure enough, I don’t as a general rule.  I don’t were skirts often, dresses hardly ever, make up too much, so on, so forth.  I like being comfortable; and IMHO comfortable generally means cargo pants/bdu’s, tank tops, sweat shirt over said tank top in winter, boots, comfortable thick socks, and the kinda underwear you find in sporting goods.  That’s comfortable.  Girlie stuff?  Not so much.  And I do get razzed about it…from people actually making my end of a loosing bet to dressing “like a girl” to folk saying on special occassions it would mean a lot to them if I busted out with the girl-ness to even actually daring me to do it…

…and this is not even to say I do not have some nice- yet not overtly girlie clothes, because I do.  I have what one might call ‘business casual’ attire- slacks, button down shirts, flat shoes- and I have been known, when it is necessary, to wear them.  But still, I get the girlie requests.  Well see, last eve, I had reason to dress nice, and girlie even.  I got a last minute free ticket to go see a concert at the Kennedy Center…which to me screams “dress up, it’s the freakin’ Kennedy Center!”  So I did.  I put on the one winter sorta dress I have, hose, heels, did my hair, put on makeup, girlie underwear, the whole deal…and I prolly even looked nice.

And I was as uncomfortable as hell the whole time.  Clue here:  Pantyhose are NOT comfortable.  To me, full make up is NOT comfortable- it feels itchy and heavy on my face- and I even use pretty expensive makeup.  Mascara flips my shit out, as does lipstick (I feel like I have jelly on my lips).  My hair is LONG, for me to do anything  with it?  It takes an hour.  Heels hurt my feet and at this point, not so good for my back.  Underwire bra’s suck.  Lacey other underthings itch.  Dresses?  Even winter ones?  A little drafty in winter.  AND I was way more dressed up than anyone else there, cept maybe the musicians…

And I was uncomfortable, so much so, it kinda detracted from enjoying the concert…and when I got home, I flew into the house, scrubbed my face…twice…brushed out my hair and pulled it up, peeled off all that girlie wow why dont you ever wear shit faster than light and immediately jumped into my usual comfortable clothes and was…happy.

That’s why I don’t dress up or get girlie.  It SUCKS.  Its uncomfortable, and its Not Me.  It may look nice, but it feels bad….and also, you know, as an ex-stripper, I have HAD my fill of HAVING to wear make up, high heels, and sexy underwear in my life, thanks.  It was manditory working attire for me for long enough, and I am offically Off Duty.

Are there gonna be times when I HAVE to do it? Probably.  Other than those?  I am not of the mind to ever do it again…so people need to stop askin’!