Okay, in the last couple days I have had folk ask/discuss with me/comment about how, well, I seem so angry and curse a lot and shit of that nature. And yes, sometimes, it apparently is much like shooting myself in the foot, but you know, I am almost willing to bet, just from past history and previous experiences, that if I had been nice and sweet and mellow to Meghan on that thread…my questions and concerns still would have been ignored, talked around, not addressed, and remained hanging there unanswered. Why? Well this ain’t exactly my first time to this sorta dance, and in the past, even when nice as pie, well, no answers. Deflection. Galloping Goal Posts…and why yes, heaps and heaps of patronization and assumptions and other assorted foolery. Would Meghan have been any different if I had not blown up at her? I dunno. Maybe, but I kinda think no because she has ignored the questions and comments and theories which are not in line with her own mode of thinking from people on that thread who were civil and polite to her, and well, it seems to be the typical nature of the beast, as it were. These folk do not like to be challenged, regardless of civility, and thusly will not directly engage unless they have utter control over the spin, discourse and level of hostility-or are forced to, like in an actual debate setting, but even then the majority will tap dance like hell to keep you off their asses with actual fact and the views of people who actually work in the sex biz and do not just study it. Simply put, they ignore being questioned by anyone who is not one of their own, and will do just about anything to not have to answer the hard questions. Been there, done that, have all the notes & headaches.
So I then ask the folk who ask about me being angry and hostile? Well, why the hell wouldn’t I be? You can only be dismissed, patronized, presumed about, lied about, distorted, and generally treated like shit by these sorts so many times before, well, you get angry. Very Angry. You can only hear the same dehumanizing, infantilizing, broken record bad reasearch bullshit before you say “fuck this, I am done being civilized with people who obviously think of me and people like me akin to crap”. You can, in short, only take so much. And I sorta wonder if the folk who are saying “you shouldn’t get so angry” would say that if it was THEM being treated like that, addressed like that, and why yes, condescended to like that all the damn time. I wonder if they had to put up with this crap, 24/7, seven days a week, 365 days a year, for x amount of years, if they would dare question why I get so angry. Let me tell y’all something, true beleivers….I LONG ago gave up on other people being willing to stand up for me or defend me or say hey, that anger of yours, it’s justified. You know who I can rely on to stand up for me and challenge this shit and not say “oh, don’t take it so serious” or “oh it’ not really that important” or “oh, you shouldn’t get angry about it’?
Me. Yep, that’s right, just me. So, do not tell me not to get fuckin’ angry….or try being dehumanized, patronized, condescended to, lied about, and all that other good fucking shit 24/7, seven days a week, 365 days a year for awhile….then come back and tell me why again that it shouldn’t piss me off. I dare you.
Anger isn’t necessarily bad, y’all. It reminds you that you are in fact alive, and yep, serves and One Hell of a Motivator.