So, this post comes about due to some comments here and other places out there in blog land, past and present, about ones appearance- not as in how “pretty” they are or whatever, but more in a what they telegraph by the way they dress, carry themselves, so on, so forth. Ah yes, a topic I could post on endlessly and all that shit.
Now, true enough, I full well know that in choosing to look like I do and dress like I dress and get tattoos and stuff, out there in the real world I will get judged for it. Whether I should or not, I will, and this is just a fact of life, and I know because I do choose to, I will be judged. I can live with this. I know full well that when I go out lookin’ like however, well, there are just some folk who are not gonna like it and make assumptions due to it. That is the way of the world. And while some aspects of my visual telegraphed image – oh, like the big fuckin’ scar on my neck- I have no control over (and yes, I have been stared at/whispered about when dressed completely normal due to that scar, by adults even)- the majority of those aspects, like my clothes or ink or whatever, I do have control over, and choose to dress/present as I do anyway.
Now me personally, I just as soon most people look at me and be like ”yeah, trouble there, not going to go near it” and you know, I have my reasons for this. I am small, and I am female, and I dislike it immensely that due to those two things, there are people in the world who feel entitled to touch me, pat my head, give me these huge fucking bear hugs and actually pick me up without even fucking asking or loom over me because they can. I hate that shit. I always have, since I was a kid, and I still do, and even as an adult, well, yep, sure enough, there are fucking inconsiderate assholes out there that think it is okay to touch me, hug me, pick me up- all that shit- even though I am pretty blatant about the fact I dislike being touched. I not only say this, but hell, when even people I know try to hug me, I stiffen up and stuff. Hell, I shake hands and only shake hands for a damn reason- I don’t like people unless they have been invited to do so touching me. Period Which does actually factor in to why, often, I tend to look like the lost Tremor Brother. It keeps people the hell away from me and they will leave me alone rather than figure its okay to pick me up because I am small. I also figure that maybe the steel toed boots and shit might indicate that if one is so hell bent on patting me on the goddamn head or something, well, then the boots served as a warning that I just might then proceed to kick them in the knee…after all, they did touch me without permission first…
At the same time however, I have personally always tried to be big on “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”, and well, I have reasons for that too. Hell, a great majority of my friends? They don’t dress all whacky like me and live in blast goggles and have notible amounts of ink and stuff. They are pretty normal looking, and kinda look odd with me, and well, if I judged them by how they dressed (i.e. not like me) well then, I woulda missed out on meeting some damn fine people- and I like to think the feeling is somewhat mutual. And truth be told, most of these normal looking folk have not often asked me to tone down my own shit- even if there have been times when they woulda probably been within their rights to do so. But just like I’ve not judged them by their dress and style and such, well they have returned the favor. Which hey, that is awesome.
But while I know how the world works, and that people will be judged and I think it is absurd to think they won’t be, I do find the whole thing grimly amusing. Because ya know, the inked up biker lookin’ sort is no more or less likely to be mean or violent or whatever than, oh, the guy in the suit. Most Criminals? Well….there isn’t exactly a dress code, you know? And how often do you hear people talk about seriously really real scumbags; murderers, rapists, assholes who swindle the elderly out of their retirements or bleed unsuspecting lonely people dry, and they say “Well, he/she looked so normal?” Hell, the people who look like scumbags actually seem to provide excellent cover and distraction for actual scumbags. I mean heck, if you are at the county fair, are you gonna be looking at the tough looking guy with the dirty jeans and shit-kicker boots and the flashy looking gal with the tattoos and crazy hair….or the average run of the mill sort who is gonna pick your pocket while you are busy staring? Hummm.
There is obviously an upside and a downside. I am really big on people dressing and presenting as they want to, regardless of how non-traditional or “unsavory” it seems to others, but I also fully realize that sure enough, they will be judged for it. What I don’t get however is how anyone, in this day and age, is dumb enough to assume you can spot the truly bad people who will harm others simply by how they look. I mean, there are far more normal looking horrible people out there than “scummy” looking ones. I get knee jerk reactions and that it can be hard to forget spooky hype of “the people your momma warned you about”, but how any thinking, rational human being can honestly believe that you can spot the bad sorts and they are the ones with the Harley’s and Hot Rods with the shitkickers and tattoos is simply beyond me. It’s not only ignorant, it’s downright…stupid.
* that said, if any of y’all ever nominate me for that stupid show what not to wear, I am gonna find ya- with a tire iron