Sooo, been out checking out what’s going on in Bloganistan since my…ok, since I dropped off the face of the earth and went native or whatever. Anyhoo, I was over at Snowdrops and saw his post about Male Sadists, and have read a whole lotta stuff on BDSM here in various places lately, by those into BDSM, and I decided, what the hell?
How is it that I, freaking henchwoman sell out pornfied me, manages to really not be as “genderfied” as so many folk? Okay, sure, fake boobies and long hair. Okay, sure, gets annoyed sometimes when my Dude Friends are like “you are such a Dude”, okay, sure, gets annoyed when so much about “aggressive or butch” seems to be confined to lesbians…so on, so forth, who gives a shit really? I am who I am- I have the wiring and the biology I have, thus is life, amen. But you know…
A person with a sadistic bent is person with a sadistic bent. “Creepy People” in (or out) of BDSM come in ALL KINDS of flavors. And maybe, just maybe, this rant will “mean less” to folk because, oh shit, I’m a woman….and if it does, well then fuck you if you say you do not buy into gender.
When I am of the mood, I am a sadist…and not the nicey nice type the BDSM community often tries to promote. The loving top who helps explore, heal, care for? The person who looks for deeper meaning and connection? The person into the psyche and spirit of it all? Not it. It’s not an “oh damn I am hardcore” thing either, its a “you know, I get off on hurting you thing, and if you are into that, awesome, game on, cause I am gonna hurt you” kind of thing. Oh, and after I am done getting off and all that…yeah, not so much with the loving I respect you and think you are wonderful shit. Hell, my b-day is coming up, I could go for a sub pain slut who wants to go slum and then…go away…of ANY gender!! All those horrible things people think about: non-con fantasies, serious pain, mayhem, absolute control, unmigitagated viciousness….guess what? I think about all that. I have fantasies about that- as the aggressor. (Hell, I write Rictor AND the General). And you know what I find creepy? The people (two in mind specifically, one woman, one man) who have LET me, hell, ASKED me, to be HORRIBLE and vile to them and…LIKED it. To me? THAT is creepy. To me anyway, cause I am an asshole. And a woman.
But you know, aside from the occassional fight, where shit, at my size, I am likely to get stomped…and well, my charming attitude? I’ve never gone or done anything of that nature when not invited to do so. Period. Thought about it? Hell yes. Maybe manipulated at it a wee bit? Okay, probably. But I have never not respected someones no or gone in when lack of consent was even a possibility. EVER.
My head might go there, but *I* don’t. AND THAT, I think is typical of BDSM inclined Sadists, male or female, and *THAT* is what makes us different from “THOSE PEOPLE” of either gender (and they do exist.) Hell, most of the full on BDSM people are a shit ton more considerate than I am.
Are there bad apples? Hell yes, but tell me where you do not find those?
(funny side note, in my bloggy history, I have met 3 women who ID as top/sadists, 2 men who do the same, and the exact same number, gender wise, who ID as bottoms/masochists or switches.)