Check it, I am totally whining.
I have come to the grand conclusion that I am over appreciated and under paid. Yep. I believe this to be true. I get asked to write things, speak places, do things for people- everything from offer my unique utterly oddly wired insight and advice to defend…all kinds of shit, and people insist that I rock the house at this kind of thing, but you know what? There is no money in any of this. Hell, I am still owed money from the last speaking gig I did, and you know, I could use it right about now. Being good at a lot of the shit I am apparently good at? No cash coming in from that.
I mean, when I hear person X is getting a book deal or someone else is in a paid art show or citizen so and so is getting fiction published or is getting a paid gig writing for a trade (hahaha) publication and so on, I’ll admit it…I get jealous. It’s petty and all that crap, but yeah, I do. It happens. That Deadly Envy, that green-eyed gal, she rears her head and I get jealous.
Now, this is gonna sound funny, but maybe I am too nice. I think people figure that if I feel passionately about something or it is something I like doing anyway, they can get me to do it for free; be the meat shield without pay and all. And yep, I have done this, a lot. And yep, people give me the whole “you are so awesome” thing for it, which is nice…
But it would be real damn awesome if awesome paid better.