Okay, so I am feeling human enough this morning that I can write about something different today. I got Sharon asleep in my lap purring away (I am used to calling her that, so Sharon it is) , it’s sunny outside, there is a plan to use the free movie passes my brother gave us to go see “Zombieland” this afternoon…things don’t suck quite so much…
Wait, hold that thought. I have something else I want to talk about today, and it is one of those female human biological things, so if such stuff grosses you out- look away…
Yep. It is that time of the month. Or as I like to say, I am in the Moon Hut of the She Wolf Sister. I am on the tail end of it, the down swing. The worst of it passed long about Monday, but still… Now I have heard before women waxing on eloquently and in glowing terms about the wonderful, wonderful “real womeness” womb mojo fairy dust and moon mystery of that time of the month…speak on menstruation like it was some mystical miracle and just the most awesome thing since faux fur and platform heels…and it has always stricken me as odd that someone would get so mojo-goddess powery drunk off a damn biological function….but I have come to the following conclusions about that:
Either these women do not get immobilizing back cramps, do not bloat up, break out, hit mood swings that put them a half an inch from a thrill killer, bleed like they’ve suffered a shot gun blast to an arterial cluster…or they are just deluded and lying to themselves. Because you know, as a person who gets killer back cramps, bloats up, breaks out, hits mood swings that put me a half and inch from a thrill killer, and bleeds like someone who took a shot gun blast to an arterial cluster (for four fucking days, minimum), I have to say all that goddessy goodness and fairy dust and mystical moon magic?
It’s a fucking load of crap. There is nothing awesome or empowering or mysterious and wondrous about having a period. It freakin’ sucks. There is no goddamn moon mojo going on. It’s painful, it’s messy, it inspires road-rage, I look like crap, I feel like crap, and while yes, it is necessary for the human race to continue on as a species on planet earth…you know, I am not so sure (especially during my period!) if I think that is such a great idea and there is nothing mystical moon-mojo-y about it. Nothing. Nada. Zero, zilch, zip. It’s annoying and dare I say it…icky. Having blood and bloody tissue flowing from ones cunt for a week is NOT awesome…and it generally means I have to do a lot more laundry.
Although I do tend to crank out a lot of levels on City of Villains when I am hanging with the She Wolf Sister…hummm. Then again, for four days, it is not like I can be more than 30 feet from a goddamn bathroom.
So, to all the women who wax and glaze on wondrous about the mystical moon mojo of menstruating? Either you are not doing it like I am, or you are deluded!
Peace Out from the Moon Hut of the She Wolf Sister!