Amanda, a UK sex worker, goes off on those who want to legislate her life into non-existance and universals.
Archive for September, 2009
Roman Polanski is a child-raping shit bag. Being an artist does not excuse this. Any questions? I thought not.
Or something like that….
“don’t go down the hall, there is Malta Group down that hall, with big Mechs, waiting for you!”
So, once again, not about feminism, but rather sex and sex work. The debate continues on at ND’s, and in it, Faith has become pretty insistent that sex workers do not have a wider range of experiences (as in odd, strange, more straight forward, kinky, whatever) than non-sexworker women…
And I have to say sorry, but I really freakin’ disagree there. Hell, I run with a twisted and pervy bunch of women, but still…I just think she is flat out wrong on that one.
See, there are a lot of men who specifically seek out sex workers for various fantasies and fetishes because they are either embarrassed to ask their partners about them, know their partners will not go for them, do not wish to be judged for having them, and figure that hey, that being the case, hire a professional. Also, I think something that is forgotten here is yeah, perhaps younger men, 20-30 somethings and all, might not have too hard of a time finding a partner willing to try out their kinks (many of them anyway), but older guys? Not so much really. Society has become less conservative and many people have embraced that…other generations? Not so much. An older guy might not feel as though he can find someone to get his kink on with even more so than a younger guy might…so once again, a professional is called in.
And I am just sorta sitting here smirking about it. Because you know, it isn’t a competition. If people are happy in their own sex lives, what the hell does in matter how good/bad/diverse/strange/more experienced/less experienced they are than sex workers? Its almost like the silly meme of Non Sex Workers saying “omg, we have better sex and are a better at sex than sex workers” and sex workers saying “honey, you ain’t got a fucking clue”… I mean for real, who cares? If a woman is happy in her fucking, what does it matter?
But see, it is the oddity that gets me. It’s just odd to me to think that non-sexworkers figure they see as much of the weird and strange of human kinks and fetishes that sex workers see because people specifically go to sex workers to experience these things. How many dudes go to pro-dommes with all their strange and personalized fantasies because their partners are not into it? How many guys go to prostitutes because they want to do things their girlfriend/wife is not down with? How many people hire professionals because they can’t seem to find amateurs to kink out with? Answer: Lots.
I mean, in my day, I have seen some weird shit. Guys who will pay to be beaten up (and I mean seriously beaten up), trampled, pissed on, puked on, have their body hair ripped out, demeaned, degraded, humiliated, forced to lick out toilet bowls, anally fisted, roleplay out rape fantasies with another dude, jacked with a cattle prod, pierced, choked, wrapped up almost completely in Saran Wrap and kicked in the nuts. Guys who want a sex worker to sit in cold water and ice then play dead. Guys who want to rough up the professional, piss on, slap, hair pull and play out rape fantasies with her. Guys who want to play the dead body part. Dudes who want to wear diapers. Dudes who want to pretend to be schoolboys. Dudes who want to pretend to be women, or prisoners, or animals. Dudes who want to lick your feet or anus for an hour…or just listen to you talk about all the other weird requests you get.
And yeah, I am sure there are non sex worker people out there in real life who engage in or have experienced some or more of these fetishes….but all of them? Sometimes fairly regularly?
For some reason, I think not. And people are gonna have a hard time convincing me otherwise.
So, I was over reading at ND’s and in a post about feminist stuff and sex worker stuff there is a side thread that is now actually a bit more about sex than sex work or feminism, and I am ignoring the whole feminism bit to talk about things I prefer to talking about feminism, namely sex work and sex. Yeah, me and my one track mind.
Anyhoo, over there, Faith made this comment, and it got me thinking. Now yep, sure enough, there are a lot of women out there who are not sex workers who have vast and rich sexual histories and experiences and have great sex lives and all that stuff. No question. But when one thinks of “the statistical average woman” (as if there were such a thing, but stay with me here) and then lines that person up with a sex worker (who actually has sex as part of their sex working), I gotta say, I do think most of the time chances are that the sex worker has probably had more sex than the S.A. Woman. Not necessarily good or fun sex, but sex.
I mean, I run with a pretty freaky crowd y’all. Wonderful pervy folk and whatnot. However, be that as it may, even with swinger gals and stuff like that? Um, yeah, most of the sex workers who have sex as part of their job that I know? The number of people they have had sex with and the different/kinky/whatever things they have done? Usually higher. I mean, come on, many sex workers will see more clients in a day or have sex with more men in a single porn scene or whatever….eh, screw it…a sex worker might fuck more dudes in a couple of hours than a great many women fuck in a year or their entire lifetimes. It may not be awesome sex, but it is sex. I honestly just don’t think most non-sexworker women are gonna rate that high in the partner count….I have a hard time imagining it, really.
As for the sex workers having “better” sex or being more in tune with pleasure and all, I am not sure on that one. At all. I know sex workers who have no private sex life because when one does that for a living, they just don’t want to for fun. But for me though, you know, I think it absolutely has helped me figure out what I like and don’t like and what pleases my body and what doesn’t. And while I am still greedy as hell when it comes to my selfish orgasms and all- well, you can’t be in sex work without learning a few things about pleasing other people….so yeah, I think it has made me “better” at sex and made sex more enjoyable for me in so much as I absolutely know what I like and what works for me. I do absolutely think people can learn that in other non-sex working ways- but yep, for me…definately.
Hell, my biggest problem is finding people who are into what I am into. They don’t actually grow on trees, surprisingly enough.
I am a fan of television, no doubt. Favorite shows include NCIS, Heroes, CSI (Vegas Only), Law & Order (all of ‘em), My Name is Earl, 24, Bones, and why yes, Survivor. However, my absolute favorite show on television currently is Supernatural.
And no, it is not just because Dean drives quite possibly one of the coolest classic cars ever! (Though he does, that car is just sexy as hell and I would probably cut off a finger to have one just like it). But why, you might ask, is Supernatural one of the best shows on TV, and why do I think Rootie will like it?
I: The characters. The characters in Supernatural are awesome. Dean, Sam, the various other folk we meet throughout the seasons (Bobby, Meg, The Ghost Facers!) are fairly well rounded and well done. Currently, I am absolutely loving Castiel. They all have stories, pasts, issues, strengths, flaws, goals, drives, and all those things that make them awesome.
II: The show has a good mix of serious and humorous, creepy & disturbing and fun, scary and silly, hopless and hopeful. It has, over the seasons, become more serious, but they still put humor or “stress relief” moments in which I think is important.
III: Anyone who has a family or sibilings can sure get the love/hate relationships going on with the Winchesters.
IV: Um….Dean. That is all I am gonna say. Dean Dean Dean! Some people are Sam fans. Nope. Dean! There is another reason, but I am not sure how far into it Rootie is, so I don’t want to give anything away.
I also have to give it to Supernatural….it can honestly be scary. Like I watch it late at night with the lights on scary. So many shows and movies attempt to be actually scary and fail miserably. I think Supernatural does this and does it well. And while there are “go for the gross-out” moments, it does not rely on those to bring on the horror. Also, being a fan of supernatural creatures myself (hell, I wrote my senior thesis on vampire myths and legends of Europe) I love seeing all the legends of supernatural creatures- world wide- that they use in the show, as well as all the biblical stuff. (I have probably read the bible more times than your average Jew, let’s put it that way).
In some ways, I am surprised this show made it. I really am. Because it is good. A lot of good shows don’t make it. I mean, while I obviously like cop/forensic shows and action shows, its like everything on TV is either cops, forensics, lawyers, or medical professionals. There really is not too much else out there. Things like Supernatural (and Heroes, and the now-defunct BSG) are the oddball shows, the ones that are different from the rest of the nightly lineup. And while Supernatural does have a few things that probably lent well to its success (Sam and Dean are not too hard on the eyes, after all), shows like this do not always do well. I think much like “buffy” and “angel”, Supernatural was a right time right place kind of show- the one odd-ball in the line up that a lot of people who wanted something different from cops, forensics and “House” were looking for.
Alas, rumor has it that this is to be the last season of Supernatural, that when this season is over, the story they had planned will be done…and seeing how it is progressing, I guess I can understand that….but if that is true, I am going to miss it- because IMHO, it’s the best show on television.
I went to see “Surrogates” today with Mr.E. Interesting if not great, though I was pissed as hell when the one truly badass action scene with a woman in it? The chick (machine or not) was fighting in like 6 inch heels. Early on in the movie Mr. E said “She looks like she is walking funny” (refering to the actress playing the character) and I replied “She is walking funny, did you see those heels?” Grrrr.
Anyway, with my recent ramblings about female characters I thought I would toss some stuff out there that I have written with mostly female characters in it. Two very different (and unfinished) stories…
First is Octo’s sentimental darkhorse favorite: “Pride & Iron”
And Second, the as of yet Untitled Nadia & Aria story
(I just realized how off the numbering is on that one over there…yeeesh)
Read ‘em if you want, let me know what you think if you want, here or there.
As you probably know if you’ve been around for a while at my various other dens of iniquity, I like to write fiction. A lot. I don’t always finish it or am all that timely about it, but I do like to write. Part of the problem I have with finishing anything is that I will get an idea for something new before I have finished what I was working on and it will just roll around in my brain until I write it- thus leaving previous things unfinished. Gah, it is my curse.
In any event, since day one, the first time I picked up a pencil and started writing fiction, which was in about the third grade or so, I have always liked strong women characters. However, that love is not reserved for heroic women characters. I love me a great villain. In fact, I don’t even do heroic that well…anti hero, sure, but hero-hero? Not so much. Two of my longest works, one an actually finished book length deal, and the second being an ongoing series of stories (er, is over 150 pages a shot a story ? meh), shoot, I do not know if there are characters in them, aside from very small, small parts, who could actually ever really be considered “good guys”. Are there some characters who are less horrible than others? Sure. But outright heroic? Ummm, not so much. In any event, in anything I write, there are always strong female characters, “good” ones and bad, bad, bad.
There are people who have wondered about my propensity for female villains. Women who are quite horrible in many ways, like a certain white-haired assassin from my on going series…but you know? I find her hard not to like. She has no loyalties to anyone or anything, no strings, no attachments, and her word is worth exactly what people pay for it. She also has a sense of humor (though it is a bit off). And I tend to find that the women I like to write, even the villains, are not stuck in the same stupid roles that are out there for women villains. The scheming sex maven. The passive-aggressive plotter. The woman who plays all weak and defenseless while manipulating the crap out of other people. They don’t rely solely on their social skills, or looks, or things that women are “supposed” to use or “have to” rely on. They might use those things, sure, but in many cases they are smart, crafty, physically adept, have excellent plans…and in a few cases in my fiction, when everyone has been played against everyone in almost any way you can imagine…some woman character that you thought was merely a hench(wo)man or a tool or just another person getting played? Well hell, they are the ones who wrote the rules to the game and put all the pieces on the board. And yeah, I do get asked about this some times…you know, putting women characters out there who are, for lack of a better term, world class scumbags. You know, that such things might be a negative image of women and whatnot? I suppose my answer to that is…
I always loved strong women characters, hero or villain, but especially the villains because you just don’t ever really see that. Its like people seem afraid to put seriously bad, seriously evil female characters in anything unless those characters are somehow in debt/service/supportive roles to more villainous males. Or, if they are a main villain, they are…well…yeah. Which as much as I like the outfit and all? It gets old. Been done to death. Sure, female villains can be sexy or have sex and all that other stuff, but when that is all there is to them, or that is so amazingly overpowering to everything else they do? Meh. So Bond Bad Girl it is not even funny, and so done to death.
I want female characters that are more than that. I want my female villains to be evil, creepy, brutal. I want them heinous and loathsome and vile. Smart, savage, ruthless, with either ice in their veins or rage in their hearts or poison in their souls. I want, in all their badness and atrocity and villainy to be equal. I want people to hate/be disturbed by/ or hell, like them as much as they would male villains. For all the same reasons…and not just because “she looks hot”.
Some of the most memorable characters in any work of fiction are the villains…so yeah, I try to create female villains people will remember- and not just because they have cool wardrobes.
I leave on that note with The General, probably one of the most horrible female villains I have ever come up with…if not the most. And damn if I do not like writing her.
So, the production assistant on a movie I am going to be in has contacted me trying to put a rehearsal schedule together. A yep. I’m in an Indy film…which isn’t porn. Where I have lines and stuff. My character is sort of…well, does top human assistant of a demon make sense? If so, that is her. Yep. Evil. Typecasting! Hehehehe. She’s a cool character though, I dig her. Cold as ice.
My schedule is so wierd though that this could be interesting. I guess I will figure something out.